Don’t Play the Blame Game When Struggling With Family Debt
It’s time to drop the accusations and start aspiring…
For our discussion, we’ll consider this definition of the word Aspire — eagerly or ambitiously aiming for a particular goal.
Disunity is your enemy — not your family
To work ourselves out of a bad situation, we need to get our friends and enemies clearly categorized. Otherwise, how do we strategize? How do we know who and what to support? How do we know who or what to avoid?
Clearly, when it comes to family debt, we will accomplish nothing if we categorize other family members as enemies. Remembering that we are attacking a problem, not a person, is a good place to start our fight against family debt.
The Negotiation table
In business and politics, negotiations are seriously and carefully conducted. How much more important is it to take as much care of our family relationships when working through a crisis?
Here are some factors to consider:
- Arrange a place and time to talk seriously about the matter.
- Set the right tone for your discussion. This means remembering that your goal isn’t to win an argument but to implement a plan. Leave your ego at the door and shove a little humility into your pocket instead.
- Clearly understand your financial, personal, and relationship boundaries. In other words, work within the safe parameters of each. Don’t destroy one to achieve your goal in another. Balance and moderation are tools expert negotiators use.
- Keep your facts and emotions separate.
- Know who you're negotiating with. How well do you know the feelings and motivations driving the person you’re talking with. Understanding their viewpoint is the key to finding a path both you and they can walk together.
- In negotiations or serious family discussions, words that are actually spoken can often play a smaller part than the tone of voice and body language we use. Be respectful and helpful. Make sure the other person understands that you don’t want to cut them out, but rather, you want their help to accomplish a goal that benefits everyone.
- Set the stage for further discussions. Don’t expect to solve a complicated problem overnight. Break it down into manageable chunks that the family can work with at the time. Over time your family can work through the debt situation and come out the other side better informed, better prepared, and better motivated to continue improving.
Keep the family on stable ground
Money problems are often cited in divorce cases as irreconcilable differences. Don’t let that happen to your precious family.
While dealing with a financial problem in the family is crucial, never forget that there are other important aspects of family life that should never be shoved into the background.
The reality is that it may take some time to accomplish your family’s financial goals. During that time, you do not want to sacrifice the love, companionship, warmth, support, and future that you have together.
