‘Don’t Mess With Me Or I’ll Mess With You’

Symbol of monogamy and eternal love, but why are mute swans one of the angriest species in the world?

I love photographing swans. Like a kid gazing with hopeful anticipation at the display window of a chocolate shop, that’s how I feel when I see swans — or mute swans as they are classified.

I am all excited with questions in my mind like what angle to choose, which way to approach, how close to the swan I must be.

The thrill I feel is similar to that of unwrapping a big bag of chocolate-covered macadamia nuts.

These beautiful creatures not only epitomize grace they also symbolize love and romance.

Swans trigger the romantic in me so much so that I might write a swan-romance novel.

However, I’m not just sure if a Canada goose, as a vile villain in my novel, would be a believable creature to break up a swans’ relationship. Like in human love triangles, in which the third party is almost always a handsome beast. (Swan versus Canada goose, who’s the prettier?)

Swans engage in a long-term relationship — or shall we call it a forever relationship? They are monogamous. They mate for life, although their life expectation lasts only from 15 to 20 years.

Angry bird

But I am always wary of swans. They are known to be one of the angriest birds in the world, which include the American crow, the great horned owl, wild turkey, and the northern hummingbird. Invasion of territory, mating competition, and predators are the reasons that trigger angry reactions among birds.

Aside from the above, the mute swans which breed across the UK also become aggressive when humans or animals get close to the swans’ nest, often located along the bank where reeds are flattened and the female swan is sitting.

They are especially very aggressive in defending their babies, or cygnets.

Swans can be seen in the UK where there are shallow lakes or slow-flowing rivers. They are also seen in urban areas, canals, and parks. They’re all over the place, although I haven’t met one yet walking on the street.

Oh, yes, swans can walk as in wobble. They can also fly but awkwardly due to their body weight.

Mute swans are the most aggressive waterfowls in the world

With the thrill I feel each time I see one of my favored photographic subjects, I gasped in glee when, during today’s walk, my other half spotted a swan family and pointed them out to me.

We were at Water Haigh Woodland Park in Yorkshire, England.

It was one of the usual places where we walk, immersing in the raw beauty of nature.

It was sunny, with pavlova-like clouds dotting the blue sky. (The pavlova shapes, however, resembled the work of an amateur pavlova cook.)

Happily, I took pictures of the swan family, noticing that the two cygnets are no longer that small. They were almost as big as their mom and dad, but the dad is definitely bigger.

Father swan moved towards the middle of the path as I came closer. Was it going to block me, I thought. But I blocked that thought. I blocked my unease in getting closer to the swan.

I want a close-up photo, and no, I don’t want to just crop the picture and zoom.

And, I was at my closest to a swan, in my whole life. We were just one yard apart. I positioned my camera phone (it’s brand-new so I like playing with it) for a close-up –

And blimey, the bloody mute swan raised its neck and at the same time raised its wings like a sail, its eyes the size of raisins marinated in ginger. It was on full attack mode. It honked at me — honked, like a full-sized trumpet!!!

I was startled. It made me jump — in fright. My finger, too, that would touch the button for a photoshoot, leaped and missed the shot.

That shot with the mute swan, its orange bill agape as it honked, would have been a prized one.

My husband who saw it all and was ahead of me in the path just grinned his devilish grin.

He seemed totally amused, seeing me being harassed by a supposedly mute swan!

I walked in a huff away from the bully swan. It continued to stare at me, very clearly intimidating me, as if saying —

“Don’t mess with me and my cygnets, or I will mess with you!”

Can the mute swan break your leg or arm with its wing?

Despite a report by the BBC about the death of 37-year-old Anthony Hensley of Des Plaines (outside Chicago) by drowning when a swan charged at his kayak and capsized it, or that a swan repeatedly attacked rowers in the River Cam in England, it was indicated that swans are not really dangerous.

John Houston, general manager of the Abbotsbury Swannery in Dorset, said that there was no record of a swan attack on humans in the Swannery’s 600-year history. He added –

“If you approach a swan nest on the river, they might get aggressive and hiss and flap their wings, but the danger is over-rated and it’s a myth that they will break your leg or arm with their wings. They are not that strong and it’s mostly show and bluster.”

Meanwhile, Chris Perrins, Her Majesty’s Swan Warden, and a retired Oxford ornithologist said that of the many years that he handled swans, he “just received the odd bruise”. But he noted that a large swan could give a thump.

A hiss, an odd bruise, or a thump

As I am neither a kayaker nor a canoeist, I will most likely not experience the attacks reported above by the BBC.

As to the possibility of being bruised or thumped by a bully swan, this does not dampen my fascination with beautiful, graceful swans. I will still be as excited as before to take their photos, as an adult given a promise to have New York-style cheesecake for dessert.

I will remember, however, not to provoke the swans at the Water Haigh Woodland Park.

Like elephants, swans have great memories.

They may not just honk their trumpets at me and put the fear in me this time.

NOTE: Seriously now, for anyone interested in getting up close and personal with swans, consider a visit to the Abbotsbury Swannery in Dorset. It is the world’s only nesting colony of mute swans. Based on a review, visitors can –

“walk the paths of this swannery when the air is alive with the whistles and snorts of hundreds of mute swans, the muffled flurry of feathers, the leathery patter of webbed feet and an occasional childish squeal of delight”.

This is not an affiliated link, although I would not mind free access for two. *Wink*