Don’t Lose Yourself In This Fight
Please, not violence. Please, anything but violence.
My hand shook as I watched the news.
The last time I had it this bad was when I got a call telling me my mom might not make it and subsequently the day she passed away in the cold ICU unit.
My hand never shook from watching the news before.
I wanted to unsee it. I wish I hadn’t seen it.
But then I had to.
I can’t not see it.
Maybe there was a reason why it was shown to me.
I need to hear the story from both sides.
I need to listen to everyone.
I’ve been championing the Black Lives Matter movement, vehemently condemning police brutality and commending everyone’s effort in the protest.
And I am still standing by, supporting the cause.
The system is flawed and it needs to change.
It has needed a change, should have been changed, decades ago.
And I understand why All Lives Matter is problematic.
It implies that everyone has been fighting the same fight, which everyone has certainly not. It implies that everyone had been borne and lived with the same privilege, which we all know is untrue.
I understand why it’s not right to say All Lives Matter amidst a Black Lives Matter fight.
But watching this news…
I can’t help but think.
I understand why the man with the sword was attacked. He brought a sword to a protest. And the attackers have said exactly in justifying their attack.
But the others?
One person was attacked by half a dozen protesters, left on the side of the street unconscious. Another person had his head kicked by a protester as he was lying unconscious on the street. Another man with a US flag was attacked by another half a dozen protesters.
David Dorn, a 77-year old retired police captain, a father of 5 and grandfather to 10 grandchildren, who had served the community for 38 years was shot to death on the sidewalk in front of a pawnshop. He lost his life responding to an alarm going off in a pawnshop.
The media had broadcasted news of police responding to peaceful protesters with violence. Tear gas, rubber bullets, stun grenades, shields. Innocent peaceful protesters who only want their grievances heard, who only want a change that should have happened decades ago, were attacked by police with an array of weapons.
My blood had boiled from watching all the distressing news.
How could they?
How could they attack people who are armed with nothing but words?
I felt indignant.
I had written a few pieces supporting the Black Lives Matter movement.
And I will, without a doubt, write more.
This has been going on for too long.
I know the majority of the protesters are peaceful and nonviolent. But from what I saw in the news, it seems like some people have lost themselves in the battle.
My hands are tied (metaphorically) writing this.
I’m not preaching anyone. I can’t.
I’m not in America, marching the street with other protesters, fighting for something people shouldn’t have to fight for in the first place. I’m not the one being shot at with tear gas and rubber bullets. I’m not the one being pushed to the ground, lying bleeding on the road.
Perhaps those getting attacked by the protesters have said or done something that had incited the attack but still,
if the protesters are also violent, what makes us different from the police we are trying to bring to justice for abusing their power?
Yes, unlike most of the protesters, police didn’t suffer through decades of struggle and abuse. On the contrary, they have enjoyed exploiting and abusing their power and privileges. And yes, only now we are standing up to our tormentors, to the tormentors of our friends, after decades of abuse.
But we can’t fight fire with fire. It’s only going to burn and destroy more.
We are not them. Some of us have suffered police brutality and power abuse firsthand. I can’t possibly say that I know how it feels because I don’t. But we shouldn’t lose ourselves in our fight.
We have lost so much.
Lives, future, promises, what could have been, what should have been.
We have lost too damn much.
We can’t lose more. We can’t lose ourselves.
There must be other ways to fight back.
We are already doing it, and it’s working.
Yes, the violent protesters only make up a small portion of the protesters. But no matter how small, violence is still violence.
And violence only make more violence.
I don’t know what else I can say because I feel like I don’t have any rights to say anything at all. But I can’t not say anything. Not when there’s already so much violence and more is brewing.
I suppose it’s our collective responsibility to remind each other of what we’re fighting for in the first place and most importantly, of who we are.
Because attacking and shooting people on the street, that is NOT us. Fighting violence with more violence, that is NOT us.
That is the people we’re fighting to bring to justice.
I would like to end this with a letter to the violent protesters:
My dearest brothers and sisters,
I cannot possibly understand the pain and the suffering you have had to endure all these years. I won’t say I understand, because I don’t.
But please.
Please remember why we are here in the first place. Please remember the reason we are all taking a knee. Please remember what had caused all the pain in the first place.
Please, remember WHO YOU ARE. Because THIS IS NOT YOU.
You are fighting to have this ended.
You cannot end a problem with the same problem.
Yes, it’s frustrating to shout in an echo chamber, only to have your own hollow voice bounces back to you. Yes, it’s frustrating to see no change after fighting so hard, for so long.
But think of your other brothers and sisters fighting alongside you.
This battle is already hard enough as it is.
We can’t fight ourselves too.
We are not them.
We are not those people who vowed to protect, only to violate their vow and abuse their power.
George Floyd, Tamir Rice, Eric Garner, Michael Brown, Philando Castile, Breonna Taylor, Trayvon Martin, and many other victims,
your brothers and sisters died at the hand of violence.
It is the problem.
It is not the solution.
We can’t fight problem with the same problem.
Please. Not violence.
Please. Anything but violence.
An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.
— Mahatma Gandhi
It only makes the whole world blind. Please, don’t.