Don’t Let Social Media Trick You Into Thinking You’re a Failure

You’re really just getting started

I’m fairly young, I’m only 23, and sometimes I’ll open up social media and I feel like I failed in life. However, when I start to feel this sense of inadequacy I urge myself to remember how I’m really just getting started at life. No matter how old you are, where you are in life professionally or personally, we are always in the process of becoming a better version of ourselves. Social media cannot and should not be a gauge of your own happiness.

I work in public relations in the entertainment industry, but I sometimes still forget how social media is all smoke and mirrors. Being an influencer means both having an online presence and a following. Influencers are nothing new in the media industry. Yet, the idea of a social media influencer and influencer marketing is one of the fastest-growing fields in media. And like most people active on social media I have been enticed by the idea of being an influencer.

It takes hard work, persistence, and sometimes luck

The idea of being an influencer is a common one amongst Millenials and Gen Z, but we are not the only audience enticed by the idea of being tastemakers. I believe that the influencer life has attracted such an appeal because of how social media, to an extent, really democratized the media field. Almost anyone with a camera and a good WiFi connection could become a content creator. Whether through persistence or a viral hit, that’s how the YouTubers, TikTok stars, and influencers that you and I follow made it.

That is the thing that a lot of people forget about social media, yes, you can go viral, but to build a career off being an influencer it takes hard work and time. The same grueling hours that these individuals took recording, editing, and drafting are the hours I spent writing my resume, interviewing, and working at desk jobs. I juxtapose these two types of labor to say that you are not a failure just because you don’t have millions of subscribers. You were probably also investing time becoming the person who you thought you wanted to become. At least I know that’s what I did.

Where you are, or where you’re going, is what you’ve worked on and that matters

Again, I am only 23 and I’ve been on a fair number of panels for my college, community groups, and peer groups, talking about my rise in the entertainment industry. I mention my job because it’s a prime example of how social media makes me forget about my own success. I am the son of an immigrant family, proudly Latino, a member of the LGBT+ community and despite having 0 connections I reached my Hollywood dream. As proud as I am, I’ll still ask, “But why isn’t this picture getting more likes?”

My particular journey took almost 4 straight years of practicing a meticulous plan comparable to an influencer's content calendar. We all have some sort of vision of who we want to be. In my case, I had a professional dream. I’m happy when I hear people telling me about their dreams that could involve grad school, starting a business, or starting a fitness journey. No matter what kind, we all have different journeys with different milestones. For those who wanted to be content creators being an influencer is a milestone in their avenue. Consider in your own journey what milestones you reached.

Life may seem linear, but as this time has shown us the world is anything but organized. The journey of life includes different paths, turns, and lanes to go down. In my professional path, I’ve gained some sort of influence, but only because I started making that part of my journey. Growing your influence requires you to tell people a story. Ask yourself the next time you post, “What story am I telling?” Consider maybe posting about something that you’re proud of that tells the story of you.

Don’t compare yourself to others, consider how to celebrate yourself instead

My college mentor always never tired of telling me, “We are all always in the process of becoming.” There are dozens of speakers and variants of this idea, and no matter how you take it I urge you to drink this tea while it’s still warm. Influencers may seem to have it all, but as someone who works with them let me tell you, their lives are anything but perfect. Influencers deal with burn out. These digital tastemakers deal with nonstop tedious work from their managers, agents, and publicists. Sounds like you at your job or school, right?

The work it takes to maintain influence is comparable to the time and care it takes losing weight, running a small business, or just getting through life in this current moment. Every day when I wake up I look in the mirror and I think about what I can do today to both celebrate myself and be a better version of myself. For an influencer, this question could be, “How can I upload more?” or “How can I grow my subs?” I know this because again I’ve handled this kind of talent before.

If you find joy in seeing your followers go up celebrate that, but also cherish the moments in your life that sometimes can seem small. Just waking up is itself a task worth celebrating. The person you are now is a work in progress. Understanding and accepting that where you are now is okay is part of how you actually grow your influence. It takes a strong sense of self to know the message you want to put out into the world. Some influencers got their message out when they were only 16, but some are 60 and still trending.

No matter where you are in life I want you to know that it’s more than okay to still be dreaming. I’m still a dreamer and every day I push myself to create. Somedays I feel inspired to write and I’ll type away into the late hours of the night. Other days, I wake up 5 minutes before my first Zoom meeting. Whether you gain some followers or lose them do not lose sight of the bigger process at hand. Whether you want to be an influencer or not know that you are not a failure, your identity and sense of self are always evolving.

Take a minute the next time you scroll and feel inadequate to flip the script. Ask yourself, “What am I proud of?” You may have one answer or you may have a dozen, no matter the number, think about it and you just might have your next post.