Don’t Just Look but Try to See

They say count your blessings, and indeed we should, for so much of what we have we take for granted as if it is a given that these blessings will last forever. They do not; this summer I learned the hard way.

I woke up on a sunny June morning getting ready to start my day, and nothing seemed out of the ordinary except for the feeling that I had something in my eye. Not a big deal, I thought, just wash it out and all should be well. Wish it were that simple. Within hours my eye was burning, teary and red, so I did the sensible thing and went to the nearest Optometrist. Initially, it did not seem such a big deal, some sort of irritation, and with the right medication, all should be well in a day or so.

Few days passed, and I was struggling to open my eye. I went back to the Dr. and she must have been alarmed as she immediately sent me to a cornea specialist. With further tests, probing, lots of different teardrops, and numbing solutions, it was concluded that I have eye Herpes simplex virus, which could be literally blinding. And so began my long journey of treatment and grit.

I was wishful that with medication I should heal quickly, but that was far from the truth. Slowly I started losing my vision, and I couldn’t open both my eyes. All the little things that I used to do in my daily life, which I never gave much thought to, became a challenge, and an internal struggle. I could not drive, use my laptop, phone, watch TV, read, or go out in public basically I felt like I was trapped within my body, and it felt like a very lonely place. It was not so much the loss of vision that almost broke me, but the constant pain that would not ease up day or night, a burning-like sensation as if something sharp is poking at my eye. Many times, I broke down in tears.

The thought of going blind scared me, I pictured my life in a colorless world and endless hours of darkness, not being able to see the faces of my loved ones, not being able to do all the things that I took for granted, with the simple blessing of vision. Did I have to learn to live life all over again in a new way?

I was hopeful that I would heal and that my vision will be restored, I just had to be patient, not an easy trait when you are trying to get along with your life. Days turned into weeks and weeks into months, and slowly yet surely the pain slowly stopped, I felt such joy and relief to live a day without constant pain, and it made me think of those who live with much worse chronic pain, how do they manage, what kind of faith do they hold in their hearts to make them endure and survive?

Finally, I am thankful to say that my eye is almost completely healed, and my vision is almost perfect with the aid of glasses, which I’m grateful for. This virus has taught me many tough lessons but mostly is how fragile we humans are, and how health is paramount and even something as small as an eye, can drastically affect and change one’s life, I have learned not to take things for granted no matter how big or small.

Now when I look, I try to see and embrace all that this world offers. So please count your blessings and never, ever take things for granted.