Don’t Judge Someone Just Because They Sin Differently Than You Do

Unpacking the baggage of moral superiority

Where I live in North Texas, we’re proud of the fact that our baseball team, the Texas Rangers, won the World Series in 2023.

Our main rival plays in South Texas, the Houston Astros, and we Rangers fans respond to their online insults about our team by insulting them right back and calling the Astros “cheaters.”

We are, in fact, judging the Astros and their fans as being inferior to us on and off the baseball field.

Looking back over the past 24 hours, did you judge anyone as being less than you? Perhaps it was a race, a religion, a country, a politician, a person you randomly came across online, or maybe a friend or family member?

We’re all guilty of it. It comes naturally to us from childhood. We learn that it’s “me vs. you” or “us vs. them” at a very early age.

I vividly remember when I was in 6th grade and my teacher had us debate about who was the better candidate in the upcoming presidential election. I recall digging in and defending my position and the feeling of superiority that gave me.

The Concept of Sin in a Modern Context

In a non-religious, cultural context, “sin” can be viewed as an action or behavior that goes against the prevailing moral and ethical norms of a society. It’s a transgression against the collective conscience of a community or the fundamental principles of humanity that most people agree upon.

For example, while religious definitions of sin are often tied to divine laws or commandments, a cultural perspective might consider things like dishonesty, theft, or betrayal as ‘sins’ because they harm trust and cohesion.

Is there a person who you feel has sinned recently? Maybe an individual who has broken the law? Your neighbor? A family member?

Please don’t misunderstand me. I’m not saying that it’s wrong to have beliefs about right or wrong. We all need a moral code.

When we come across someone without a moral compass, perhaps we should seek first to understand before we judge.

The Impact of Judgement on Relationships

I’ve gone through several different periods of estrangement from my sister. Thankfully, we’re back on good terms again. But years of being close to each other have been wasted.

One of our periods of non-communication stemmed from my reaction to one of her rare angry outbursts. Instead of calmly asking her what was troubling her, I immediately judged her as “inconsiderate” and “hostile.” What I didn’t take into account was that she was on anti-anxiety medication.

I judged her and labeled her as being a poor sister who should be caring for her younger brother, as if that were her role and responsibility in life.

As I look back on it, I know my sister is a loving individual who has anxiety. She didn’t deserve my judgment, she deserved my support during what was obviously a difficult time in her life.

Have you recently judged a friend or family member, and it has created a distance between you? Take a moment and reflect on what they might have been going through at the time and that it could be something you know nothing about.

Judgement and Social Media

I know that I’ve unjustly judged people based solely on what I’ve read or heard about them on social media.

Not long ago, I judged a certain celebrity to be a “jerk” because someone posted on X that the celeb had been rude to them when they were a server at a restaurant. I immediately judged this well-known actor to be inferior to me since I “almost always” am nice to servers.

Perhaps he had just found out that he hadn’t got the part in a big film he was hoping for. Or maybe he just came from the hospital where he visited a close friend who had suddenly taken ill.

Yes, maybe he should have stayed home that evening if he was feeling anxious or agitated. I know I’ve gone out when I was in a bad mood, and my behavior was less than acceptable.

Nevertheless, I didn’t even know him, and I judged him as being less than me.

Social media can cause us to feel less than sociable when we take what is said at face value and cast judgment on someone.

I should heed the old saying, “Don’t believe everything you read.”

The Mirror Effect: Reflecting Our Flaws

Imagine someone who is often untruthful. They may frequently accuse others of lying because it’s easier to confront or dislike these traits in someone else than to admit to them personally.

This mechanism operates on a subconscious level, where the individual genuinely perceives the projected traits as belonging to the other person, even though it’s a reflection of their inner world.

It’s akin to someone looking in a mirror and seeing someone else’s face superimposed over their own — it distorts their view of reality and prevents them from seeing their own part in the problem.

Again, I’m guilty as charged. I’ve judged more than one person as being “angry” inside. But, I know I was projecting my anger upon them. Maybe they truly do battle anger; still, who am I to judge?

Maybe what they need at that moment is to know someone cares and will let them vent.

Do you ever project your feelings onto someone else?

We’re all guilty to some degree of judgementalism and projection. It’s human nature. I think the best thing to do is to acknowledge it, not get angry with ourselves, and simply be more aware when we’re judging someone or putting a label on them.