Summary

The text discusses the challenges of maintaining friendships when political views diverge, emphasizing the importance of valuing diverse perspectives despite the potential for conflict.

Abstract

The author reflects on a heated political argument with a close friend of over 50 years, which nearly ended their friendship due to differing opinions. Despite the tension, the friend's inherent qualities and the mutual value placed on their friendship remained intact. The author acknowledges that disagreements often stem from differences in thinking, which, while natural and beneficial, can lead to conflict. This is illustrated by the author's preference for MSNBC over Fox News, as the former aligns with his beliefs, and the latter challenges them. The author also references John Gray's book "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus," to highlight how dissimilarities in perception can cause disharmony even when objectives are shared. The piece concludes with a call for embracing Hamlet's perspective that the mind shapes our reality, suggesting that contentment could be achieved by accepting diverse viewpoints. The author recalls a college course on Renaissance and Baroque Art that taught him the value of differing perspectives, reinforcing the idea that understanding the reasoning behind an opinion can make any answer valid.

Opinions

The author believes that differences in thinking should not lead to the breakdown of relationships, as evidenced by his strained conversation with his friend Carl.
There is a clear preference for media outlets that align with one's own beliefs, as seen in the author's comfort with MSNBC and discomfort with Fox News.
The author suggests that the world is enriched by the diversity of thought, as unanimity would lead to a dull existence.
The author values the depth of understanding that comes from exploring the rationale behind differing viewpoints, as demonstrated by his positive experience in the Renaissance and Baroque Art course.
The author implies that individuals have a tendency to seek out environments and perspectives that reinforce their own beliefs, which can contribute to polarization.
The author quotes Shakespeare's "Hamlet" to support the idea that our perceptions

Don’t Hate Me Just Because I Don’t Think Like You

Love lost, marriages ruined, families broken, friendships shattered

A while back I was talking to my college roommate, Carl. Our conversations are usually laced: with what cha up to’s? howdy do’s? wasn’t it great when we did’s?

One evening after a departure from our normal once a month FaceTime chats, we started talking politics. The conversation got as heated and nasty as a disagreement can get on FaceTime.

It got pretty bad. Lucky to be 2,500 miles apart.

I pushed the red button to mercifully end the connection after we said perfunctory goodbyes.

At that point, my dislike of my dear friend of over 50 years was at a point that it had never been before.

Now how did that happen?

Carl was still the same bright, physically active, engaging guy he’d always been.

Above all, I knew we both valued our friendship..

However, at the moment, it was lucky he was in Mexico and I was in Philadelphia because our 50+ year relationship may have ended with a punch in the snoot.

Why?

It was because he simply didn’t think like me — nor I him.

We don’t all think the same. Thank God! What a boring world it would be.

Probably best evidenced is the perpetual gender misunderstanding felt by most. Explained understandably in the well received pop analysis book “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.” John Grey’s bombshell best seller written in the 1990s about the differences in thinking between the sexes. Neither gender right or wrong just — -different.

Dissimilarities leading to disharmony when both are striving for the same objective of an understanding relationship.

Each in his/her own way destroying the union, not because of opposing goals, but because of differences in perception.

Face it, humans seem to like to be around positive energy. Compatible energy.

I find myself happily watching MSNBC because the station and I agree.

I eschew Fox because it’s upsetting; dare I say painful? Fox disagrees with my way of thinking.

Strange, reception is the same for both on my TV.

All of us would undoubtedly be much more content if we could achieve the mindset of Hamlet in his line to Rosencrantz in Hamlet “for there is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so”.

One of the most enjoyable and beneficial courses in college I had the privilege of taking was Renaissance and Baroque Art. I originally signed up because I thought it would be a gut course. An easy A.

It was anything but.

However, it gave me a lifelong interest in art and many of my classmates were affected in the same way. A rare bonus from a college class.

Included in the professor’s syllabus was his teaching philosophy. No right or wrong answers on his exams, only a point of view. Every answer had to be supplemented by the student’s thought behind the answer. If the rational made sense, any answer could be right. Even one in direct opposition to the professor’s. I think I remember getting a gentleman’s B in the course but a love of art for a lifetime.