Don’t Eat the Rich!

Summary

The author of the article advocates for "composting the rich" as a metaphorical approach to address wealth inequality, rather than the literal and dangerous interpretation of "eat the rich."

Abstract

The article titled "Don’t Eat the Rich!" discusses the potential dangers and implications of the slogan "Eat the Rich," which has been associated with movements advocating for wealth redistribution and the abolition of billionaires. The author, while supportive of democratic socialism, rejects the idea of cannibalism as a solution to societal issues, citing its gross nature, potential health risks from diseases and prions, and the unhealthy diet of the wealthy. Instead, the author humorously suggests "composting the rich" as a safer and more efficient alternative, which symbolically turns the rich into fertilizer for growing crops, aligning with the historical use of human waste in agriculture and promoting a vegan lifestyle. The article concludes by encouraging readers to support the author's work on Medium and to follow their publication "Thing a Day" for diverse daily content.

Opinions

The author is against the literal interpretation of "Eat the Rich," considering it a dangerous and distasteful idea.
Cannibalism is seen as socially unacceptable and risky, with the potential to transmit a multitude of human diseases.
The rich, due to their diet, may not be suitable for consumption, potentially leading to health issues like gout.
The concept of "composting the rich" is presented as a humorous and practical metaphor for reallocating the wealth of the rich to support sustainable agriculture and community living.
The author promotes a vegan lifestyle and references the historical use of human waste as fertilizer to support the idea of "composting the rich."
The article suggests that readers can support the author's work by becoming a Medium member, donating via Ko-Fi, or subscribing to their publication "Thing a Day."

That’s an incredibly dangerous game.

One of the slogans of what has become a movement to abolish billionaires and implement some manner of equity and justice in America is “Eat the Rich.” I must admit, while I am a big fan of democratic socialism, I feel like eating the rich is a bridge too far for me. While the notion of eating the rich makes for a catchy slogan, it is treading dangerous ground and I cannot support it.

First off, cannibalism is pretty gross. I don’t care how much humans supposedly taste like pork, I am not willing to eat long pig. At this point in society, I kind of feel like it’s pretty gauche to eat people. Plus, based on the diet of the average billionaire — with their Wagyu beef and caviar — the rich are, to put it simply, quite rich. You run the risk of developing gout before you make it through your first thigh. If you are still willing to go through with it, that’s your business, but I still think eating the rich is dangerous, and let me tell you why.

You know how mad cow disease is transmissible to humans through cow blood? There are a handful of diseases that are transmitted through eating various types of meat. However, do you know what kind of human illnesses are transmissible when you eat people? All of them. When you undercook human meat — hell, even if you cook it properly — every disease that is transmissible between humans will transmit when you eat it.

Also, if the potential of catching a myriad of illnesses over dinner isn’t enough to persuade you against eating the rich, look up prions. It’s not pleasant.

So, if you’re afraid of the consequences of eating the rich but still want to do it because they have it coming, dammit, I have an easy solution for you: compost the rich. With the right processing, a couple dozen billionaires will easily create enough fertilizer to grow a significant amount of crops and vegetation. Do you have any idea how long you could sustain a vegan commune with that amount of fertilizer?

Humans have a long history of using human waste as fertilizer, which is well documented. So, why not use a waste of a human to do the same? It cuts out the risk of all the nasty stuff that comes with eating people while still making them useful in the food cycle.

So yeah, while it’s not the most catchy slogan, I firmly believe that composting the rich is the way to go. Technically, it’s still eating the rich — you just go through a couple more steps to get there. Plus, it’s more efficient with practically no risk! So remember, when we rise up against our capitalist overlords and burn it all down, just think back to our agricultural roots. Remember, eat plants, not people.

Be well and fight the power out there.

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