Don’t Do It ’Cause I Told You To

Have you ever read a seductive title to an article guaranteeing “more” only to be confronted by the mundane things everyone seems to already know like surrounding yourself with people who do the things you want will make it more likely you will do them too?

Have you ever heard of yet another report of a study confirming something everyone seems to already know like smiling even if you don’t feel like it can lighten your mood?

We know this bait and switch of the map to enlightenment will happen, yet we still click to read.

Why?

Waiting for others to figure out things about your life and share them with you can be addicting. Why struggle with the work of something when I can use that time to find others’ shortcuts to what I want? We actively give away our agency, our self, at a time when claiming it is the most important… meaning in a time of true “self-improvement.”

The only “key” that has helped me is discovering there is no lock, and those who use scarcity tactics or want to adopt false leadership over me to convince me of the presence of a lock are hoping I will buy or buy into their keys. Yes, when I have needed guidance, I found it all over the place in the music I heard, in the strangers I observed or interacted with, in the important conversations I would have with close friends, in the healing sessions I have with therapists with whom I’ve built rapport.

So, why would I need the generalized advice from a stranger to help me though?

Why would you?

If it is to somehow beat the system by becoming better without putting in any real work, then your need for change might need to start with that false, exploitative, lazy hope.

If you want to be more creative, create more. Be meaningful and honest about it.

If you want more, do more. Be meaningful and honest about it.

These suggestions like most nuggets will not get you to enlightenment. That is a path you make by walking. There is no map. But, these suggestions might stop the intricate web of procrastination, time mismanagement, and waiting for permission that keeps you from taking the first step.