‘Don’t Date A Man Who Reads’

Why Cammi Pham’s article hit me between the eyes.

I clicked on Cammi Pham’s “Don’t Date a Man Who Reads” (2015) Medium article because I MARRIED A MAN WHO READS.

https://readmedium.com/don-t-date-a-man-who-reads-1c4d9ebe0989

What I didn’t expect was the disarming emotional fallout.

Here are Pham’s reasons with my personal experiences added to them.

1. Don’t date a man who reads. He will be interesting. Initially, I didn’t think dating my husband was romantic. But, our late-night conversations into the early morning were magical.

Cammi said: He will throw ideas out and expect you to bounce them back. I’d say Forever .

2. Don’t date a man who reads. He is fine spending time on his own. This I didn’t realize was happening. And I can’t say I understood it initially.

But because I worked late, I knew he wasn’t upset; books kept him company. He might be engrossed in The Cave and the Light.

3. Don’t date a man who reads. He is hard to please.

Cammi said: ideas and imagination are his brain fuel.

The Unbearable Lightness of Being sat on his bedside table when we first got together. I was drawn to read it. Clincher for me: I chased the knowledge he and this book shared; and, became a better person because of it.

4. Don’t date a man who reads. He is intelligent.

Cammi’s assertion: smart people invest in themselves rang true to me.

The clincher: I needed to keep up with him and not be a pretty face.

5. Don’t date a man who reads. He will listen to your thoughts and dreams. Cammi: He won’t let you sit; he will make you chase those dreams.

The clincher for me: He kept telling me that I was the only person limiting me.

6. Don’t date a man who reads. He will “borrow thousands of people’s brains to turn his vision into reality.”

The clincer for me: He pushed me to do the same.

7. Don’t date a man who reads. He is a critical thinker. Cammi said: He has seen different opinions and knows how to analyze problems.

Clincher for me: I prided myself on independence, needing no one. But when the going got tough, it was my husband who treaded the needle.

8. Don’t date a man who reads. He has a sense of perspective. Cammi states: He knows his problems will never be harder than experiences read in his many books.

Clincher: I had to listen –not my strong suit — and swallow my knee jerk reaction to say “No, I don’t agree.”

9. Don’t date a man who reads. He will always want to try new things. Cammi: he will try to get more out of life and see life with curiosity.

The clincher for me: In the process, he’s been teaching me how to find myself.

10. Don’t date a man who reads. He can be empathic. Cammi asserts: He puts himself in every character’s shoes.

Clincher for me: He’s sensitive, caring, and thinks before he speaks. More than that, he’s honest. Hard pill to swallow for a chronic liar.

11. Don’t date a man who reads. You will have a hard time reading him. Cammi: the key to his heart lies below thousands of books.

Clincher for me: I played shallow. Not knowing where to dig.

12. Don’t date a man who reads. He has a sense of perspective. He knows his problems will never be harder than those faced by the characters in the books he reads.

Clincher for me: I had to stop saying “No” and hear him out.

In the end, Cammi states: you might never leave him. Because every moment is like a new story in a fairytale.

The clincher: he sees my value when I don’t see it.

The real clincher was Cammi’s “One day he might tell you that your Love Story “ was there from the moment we met.

A treasure is never wide open for the picking. It takes courage, brains, and heart to see it.

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