avatarLorwen Harris Nagle, PhD


‘Don’t Date A Man Who Reads’

Why Cammi Pham’s article hit me between the eyes.

Photo by Road Trip with Raj on Unsplash

I clicked on Cammi Pham’s “Don’t Date a Man Who Reads” (2015) Medium article because I MARRIED A MAN WHO READS.


What I didn’t expect was the disarming emotional fallout.

Here are Pham’s reasons with my personal experiences added to them.

1. Don’t date a man who reads. He will be interesting. Initially, I didn’t think dating my husband was romantic. But, our late-night conversations into the early morning were magical.

Cammi said: He will throw ideas out and expect you to bounce them back. I’d say Forever .

2. Don’t date a man who reads. He is fine spending time on his own. This I didn’t realize was happening. And I can’t say I understood it initially.

But because I worked late, I knew he wasn’t upset; books kept him company. He might be engrossed in The Cave and the Light.

Photo by Bruno van der Kraan on Unsplash

3. Don’t date a man who reads. He is hard to please.

Cammi said: ideas and imagination are his brain fuel.

The Unbearable Lightness of Being sat on his bedside table when we first got together. I was drawn to read it. Clincher for me: I chased the knowledge he and this book shared; and, became a better person because of it.

4. Don’t date a man who reads. He is intelligent.

Cammi’s assertion: smart people invest in themselves rang true to me.

The clincher: I needed to keep up with him and not be a pretty face.

Photo by Atikh Bana on Unsplash

5. Don’t date a man who reads. He will listen to your thoughts and dreams. Cammi: He won’t let you sit; he will make you chase those dreams.

The clincher for me: He kept telling me that I was the only person limiting me.

6. Don’t date a man who reads. He will “borrow thousands of people’s brains to turn his vision into reality.”

The clincer for me: He pushed me to do the same.

7. Don’t date a man who reads. He is a critical thinker. Cammi said: He has seen different opinions and knows how to analyze problems.

Clincher for me: I prided myself on independence, needing no one. But when the going got tough, it was my husband who treaded the needle.

8. Don’t date a man who reads. He has a sense of perspective. Cammi states: He knows his problems will never be harder than experiences read in his many books.

Photo by Rich Soul on Unsplash

Clincher: I had to listen –not my strong suit — and swallow my knee jerk reaction to say “No, I don’t agree.”

9. Don’t date a man who reads. He will always want to try new things. Cammi: he will try to get more out of life and see life with curiosity.

The clincher for me: In the process, he’s been teaching me how to find myself.

10. Don’t date a man who reads. He can be empathic. Cammi asserts: He puts himself in every character’s shoes.

Clincher for me: He’s sensitive, caring, and thinks before he speaks. More than that, he’s honest. Hard pill to swallow for a chronic liar.

11. Don’t date a man who reads. You will have a hard time reading him. Cammi: the key to his heart lies below thousands of books.

Clincher for me: I played shallow. Not knowing where to dig.

12. Don’t date a man who reads. He has a sense of perspective. He knows his problems will never be harder than those faced by the characters in the books he reads.

Clincher for me: I had to stop saying “No” and hear him out.

In the end, Cammi states: you might never leave him. Because every moment is like a new story in a fairytale.

The clincher: he sees my value when I don’t see it.

The real clincher was Cammi’s “One day he might tell you that your Love Story “ was there from the moment we met.

A treasure is never wide open for the picking. It takes courage, brains, and heart to see it.

This article has affiliate links to books I’ve read. If you click on any of them it’s possible I would receive a benefit at no cost to you.

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