Life lessons
Don't Curse Your Karmic Relationship
Be grateful for the lessons it taught you
Intense and Magnetic Beginnings
“Damn, who is that?” Those are the words that came out of my mouth when I first saw my ex. It felt as if I’d known him before, and I was curious to know more about him. Something within me was unsettled, but I was so attracted to him and his beautiful skin, and I wanted him in my life. I had no idea what I was in for.
I had no idea I was drooling over the man who was going to break me in ways I didn’t know I could break. It was a karmic relationship, which means I’d probably been in a similar situation before in a past life which I learned nothing from, so I attracted it back into my life so I could learn the lesson. His purpose was to shake me up so I could wake the hell up, remember who I was and transform into who I came here to be.
There’s usually an instant connection in a karmic relationship, and for some reason, you feel magnetically drawn to them. There’s normally a good feeling to it, but deep within you know something isn’t quite right. You still move ahead with it, even though your intuition tells you to get the hell out of there!
The Point of Karmic Relationships
A karmic relationship is an agreement made between two souls before reincarnating on earth to help each other’s souls evolve. It is a relationship that teaches you important lessons you failed to learn in your previous lifetime. From a spiritual perspective, karmics are teachers and helpers. Two souls recognize that there are lessons they still need to learn, so they recruit each other as helpers.
Karmic relationships are the kind of relationship that comes to help you break free from toxic cycles and patterns carried over from past lifetimes. It comes into your life to teach you some very tough but important lessons you weren’t able to learn.
It shows you all that can be wrong with a relationship so you can steer clear of such relationship patterns and learn the most significant lessons in love. It also presents opportunities to learn important things about yourself so you can master and love yourself.
Identifying a karmic relationship is tricky. It’s hard to tell. There’s a good chance you’ll be in the thick of it before you finally realize what you’re in. If you knew what it was from the beginning, then you would run far away from it!
The most important thing about karmic relationships is that your soul chose it so it can evolve.
Chaos Is the Foundation
My ex was just getting out of a relationship when we met. They lived together, and the girl broke it off with him. Well, he lived with her, so he had to leave and figure out where to go. As a Pisces, I have a tendency to act healer and savior, and so I attract those who need healing and saving. I had a Honda Element at the time and that car was huge it could fit a queen mattress! He asked for my help moving his stuff in my truck.
After we picked up his stuff, it remained in the trunk of my truck for weeks. He wasn’t moving it. I had my own place, and I wanted that stuff out of my car, so I told him to bring it in. How silly of me. I wanted to help this man because, well; I don’t know. I assumed he would get his shit together and find a place of his own. He never did.
Karmic relationships are always filled with passion and pain at the same time. If you’ve ever experienced a bond that feels so magnetic, but with a turbulent and chaotic twist from the beginning, it’s likely a karmic relationship.
A karmic relationship can feel like a soulmate relationship because of the intense attraction, but the difference between the two is that a soulmate relationship isn't chaotic — it is peaceful right from the start. Soulmate relationships are calm and healing. Karmic relationships are chaotic and wrecking.
If drama and chaos are the foundation for your relationship, chances are you’re in a karmic relationship.
So Many WTF and Frustrating Moments
I remember one beautiful evening, my ex and I were having such a great time. We were playing around with each other and then a text message came for him. I thought nothing of it and reached out for his phone so I could hand it to him. I saw the name, and it was from a girl. He jumped up so high and fast and snatched the phone out of my hands. I thought, wtf dude?
An already evolved soul would have questioned that behavior. If that happened to me now, I would have left the relationship right then and there. It was the first red flag I ignored, and many of that followed all of which I ignored. It was such a frustrating relationship.
Karmic relationships are some of the most frustrating relationships you will ever find yourself in. Because they are about teaching you important life lessons, they will be full of red flags, especially at the beginning of the relationship.
One of the most common signs of a karmic relationship is the roller coaster of emotions. Things are never quite consistent, and while you may have good, even wonderful days where everything seems perfect, it’s only a matter of time before things go south. One day you are happy and on top of the world and the next, you've been knocked down feeling miserable.
Those highs and lows repeat themselves over and over again because they are the same patterns you may have carried over into this lifetime.
You’ll Get Tired of It, but You Will Stay
My good friend Titus told me one day that he saw my ex in a car with another woman doing something they weren’t supposed to be doing. I was so embarrassed, but I disregarded it as jealousy because he liked and wanted to be with me. My friend was a messenger I ignored. My family also tried to warn me. They just felt it wasn’t right. Again, I ignored them. Everybody else could see how wrong the relationship was, but I made excuses for him. Behind closed doors, I thought of what people said to me about him, and I was so tired of it, yet I stayed.
In a karmic relationship, you eventually get tired after the initial spark is gone, but you won't let it go because you both become codependent on each other. It turns into a codependent relationship where you're both using each other for personal gains. We were both addicted to the things we were getting from each other. He was using me for a place to stay and good Ghanaian home-cooked meals, and I was using him for companionship and (ahem) mind-blowing sex! Sheesh!
That's how karmic relationships typically go. You feel addicted to them knowing how wrong they are for you, making it difficult to break it off. Even with the many red flags that will be presented to you, you put on rose-colored glasses and you’ll come up with every excuse to stay, even though everybody around you tells you to stop being so naïve and open your eyes!
Your Karmic Will Bring the Worst in You
I didn't think twice when I swung the bat at his windshield! I’m normally a sweet and gentle person, but I was so pissed at something he’d done and he deserved it! I just didn’t care, but it was out of character. I'm not the aggressive type.
The extreme nature of such a toxic relationship can bring the worst out of even the most level-headed people. It can turn you into something you are not! You will find yourself doing and acting in ways you wouldn't normally act.
All the chaos, the ups, and downs, the frustrating life, and codependency become mentally, emotionally, and energetically exhausting. Your spirit will be bothered the entire time. It changes you and makes you angry, bitter, and sad all the time. You may even start taking it out on innocent people. After most of the damage is done and your heart is torn to pieces, you will say fuck it! You've had enough! And you will plan your exit.
The Ending Will Be Tragic
I held on till the last minute and I’m sure my soul probably thought damn, when will you get it! Every time I stayed after he hurt me, the next time he hurt me was even worse. I was suffocating. My soul was too. It took him humiliating me in front of everyone we knew for me to wake the hell up! And when I finally woke up, I kicked him out and the funny thing was, another young girl picked up his stuff and took him home! I could see the pattern so clearly. Wow.
You can hold on to your karmic relationships as tight as you can but they aren't meant to last and if they do, it will be a miserable life for sure. And you will keep reincarnating until you finally learn the lesson.
Because of how addicting the relationship gets, significant strength and self-love are required to break away from it. By the time you break it off, you will see how naïve you were. You will see that all those messengers were right. You will be devastated and broken and you will have to pick yourself and the pieces of your life up and rebuild from the ground up. You will rebuild your life no matter how bad it looks because your soul has a plan.
When the time is right and the work has been done, your soul will release them from their assignment. You will learn your lesson, cut your losses, and move on with your life. And then you will be free!
Lessons I Learned From My Karmic Relationship
I’m so thankful for my karmic relationship because it freed me. It showed me how strong I am and also reminded me who I really am. It saved me from having to repeat the same old toxic cycles.
Here's what I learned: There is no such thing as love at first sight. It takes time to learn and know another person. How can you be in love with someone you just met and don't even know well enough? Don't rush to move in with a guy who isn't your fiance or husband. Question it when someone wants to move in with you right away. The most stable relationships start slow.
Dating a person fresh out of a relationship is the worst thing to do. If someone is just out of a relationship, they haven't taken the time to reflect on their past relationship, learn from their mistakes and properly heal from it so they will more than likely bring over trauma and emotional baggage which becomes your trauma and baggage.
I've learned to stop thinking that I can save and heal every person I meet. I will always be someone who helps those in need but I'm not God and I can’t save everybody and most importantly, I can't change a man. If his mother couldn't, I can't!
Karmic relationships are born out of conflict and will most likely end in conflict. I can no longer ignore red flags, especially at the beginning of the relationship. People will always show you who they are if you pay attention. The red flags I ignored were the same reason the relationship ended.
I've learned to listen to and trust my intuition. Those uncomfortable feelings that told me something wasn't right from the beginning? I must listen and never ignore it. If something feels off about a person, place, or thing, it is wrong and my intuition will catch on before I do.
People are messengers. The universe uses people to bring us messages, and if you disregard these messages; you disregard the universe's attempt to save you from fucked up situations!
A Beautiful New Life Is Born
After I got out of my karmic relationship, I avoided all rebound relationships and I focused on healing my past. I took three years and allowed myself time to be alone, heal, and grow from the experience. I knew that if I rushed too quickly into another romantic relationship, I’d likely fall into the same karmic patterns.
When you cut the cord, learn your lesson, and put the focus back on yourself and your soul, you break free from the karmic bond forever! You will also make space for your true soulmate to find you.
Although the lesson I learned was difficult, it only caused me pain in the short-term. I was tempted to hate him for using and hurting me, but how can I hate someone who is just doing what we agreed upon?
It brought me an awakening, wisdom, self-love, soul evolution, all of which have made me who I am today. It led me to find myself and step into my power and moved me toward greater love and peace within myself. Without his help, I would never have grown up into the woman I am today.
It also provided important lessons for others that were involved in the situation. People I may not even be aware of can learn something crucial from my experience. Sometimes we receive the lesson so we can teach the lesson.
I stopped being angry, and I started being thankful. He moved on to his next karmic assignment and I wished both him and the new person he is helping good luck.
When you learn to see it that way, you can’t continue to hate them. You will send them love and pray for them and you will be grateful for the work they've helped you do. I know someday, when our souls meet again in the afterlife, we will be popping champagne and celebrating a job well done. There better be champagne in the afterlife. 🥂
