Don’t Come Out To Me, Please

This is outrageous and I am not here for it.

It was sad for me when I read the story of the gay Armenians who jumped to their deaths. Anyone who came across that story- anyone with a heart who did, would weep. These were 2 young men whose lives should be so full of love and joy but it just ended so tragically.

We should weep. We should weep especially because in this day, people still need to “come out”.

I wish no one cared.

Full disclosure- my country has a jail term of 14 years for any gay person. Also, I am a very God-person. Yet, neither of those 2 statements make a difference to me as a human being. What do I mean?

I am angry that an adult cares enough about what another adult does with their private part. I am angry that people go through life scared to travel to some places because of what and who they sleep with on their bed. I am angry that countries like mine- ruled by corrupt people can still have these corrupt people decide to jail adults for who they love. I mean, one actually wed a nine year old child and “rulers” attended! I am terribly angry that the God of love is cited by hateful people as excuse for spewing hate on others.

Every time I have shown support for Lgbtq, people ‘come out’ for me. They wonder at how I am so liberal I have lost my mind. People suggest that my faith has ‘fallen’. I always want to bite their behind.

I have never had a need to come out to anyone as straight or curious. Why do I need anyone’s permission, acknowledgment or understanding? Why does a gay person need my permission, acknowledgment or understanding? I dated. I did not ask permission. Why does anyone need to explain to me that for so and so, I cannot date so and so?

Answer: The world is insane.

The hate in my country towards the lgbtq is alarming. “God forbid”- people literally spit out in discussions of gay relationships. Younger men “cannot fathom a man loving a man” and yet, they are comfortable sheepishly smiling at lesbian relationships because it is “understandable. Women are hot”

I always ask- if your child came out to you, what do you do? The answer goes from, “they cannot even try it” to, “God forbid”.

I don’t think anyone who is incapable of loving their own child because of their sexual orientation should get a vote on anyone else. These folks don’t know love. 2 boys died in Armenia for love, for goodness sakes!

But come out to me please if you harbour feelings of molesting a child. Come out to me if you want to rape another human being. Come out to me if you have sex with animals or some other shit like that- please come out so we can separate you from the society by castrating you and leaving you to die in jail.

I know I speak from privilege when I generalize and say- “don’t come out to me” but please know, even in places where the lgbtq are blamed from everything from plagues to pandemics, please know that there are people like myself supporting and rooting for love. Hoping with all of our hearts that soonest, no one will have a need to come out to another person.

Thank you for reading.

My name is Adaobi Okwy. Please turn on Email Notification for my next post. Also, Buy me coffee?