Don’t call her/him ‘Anata(you)’? How do lovers call each other in Japanese?

I am amazed how creative French speakers are when they call their lovers, not only “Ma chérie” or “Mon amour” but also “Mon ange” “Mon petit monstre” “Ma puce” and so on. Compared with those, the way of calling each other for Japanese lovers is very boring. Is it because they are so shy?

Japanese people generally call by somebody’s family name followed by “San” which corresponds to “Mr.” or “Miss.” After they become close friends, they stop using “San”.

When you watch recent Japanese films or TV series, you will notice that people don’t often say their partners by names. They are not very expressive, even when they are in love. It is not common to call each other “my love” or “sweetheart” in Japanese. You can call your Japanese partner just saying the name, but it is better not to use the word “Anata”.

“Anata” is explained meaning “you” in most Japanese textbooks. However, the funny thing is that we hardly use this word in everyday conversation. It sounds too polite and formal. We never call our friends “Anata” in Japanese. It could even sound bossy, so it is better to be careful when you use it. In some Japanese films and TV, the wives call their husbands “Anata” showing their respect, although the husbands never call their wives in the same way. However, when I think about my parents, my mother never calls her husband like that.

It is very common to call boyfriend or girlfriend by their names plus “Chan”, especially to women (you still can use “Chan” for boys or men as well). For example, if your girlfriend’s name is “Kyoko”, you may say “Kyoko-chan”. It works just like “Xiao-(name)” in Chinese, “A-(name)” in Cantonese or “(name)-Chika” in Russian.

“Chan” is a lovely way to call your friends, but it may sound a little childish because we use this term for a small, young or cute person or child. So if your girlfriend is matured adult Japanese, when you loudly call her “Naomi-Chan!” in public, you might embarrass her.

You can call her/him just by the name or with “San”, but you can be always more creative, of course.

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