Don’t be Angry With People

I’m never angry at anybody! No human being can do anything important enough for that. You get angry at people when you feel that their acts are important. I don’t feel that way any longer — Carlos Castaneda

Very often we have some bad feelings for other persons who we talk with or have some dealings with. They can make us upset, sad or angry in many different ways . And even more they can trigger all these feelings by a simple act which reverses our mood from good to bad. Is this really right?

Actually, people often do things and speak words before thinking about it. They do it because of their emotions, mood, temperament or character. And by this, express their inner world to other people.

So, how could we deal with our anger?

1. Try to think as the person who made you angry

When we dive deeply into the world of the person who makes us angry, we move our viewpoint from ourselves to themselves. We start looking at the world with their eyes, not ours anymore. From that position, we are starting to understand what is going on and how can we get both sides of understanding from having cooperation, but not a fighting. In such case we forget about our feeling and our problems, and refocus on the problems of another person.

2. Disconnect from your negative emotions

All the time someone makes us angry we have bad emotions because of that. And moreover, these emotions make us to say something bad to another person, do something bad to another person, think something bad about another person and become irrational towards another person. We can start doing stupid and unthoughtful things that would cause real problems in relation to others. And also we’ll make a lot of harm to ourselves as well. So, if we take a look for the moment at our emotions and try to understand them. It would be more easier to control them. By understanding them we’ll be able to think and talk rationally about them with another person, that would make our dialog more constructive. And we would understand each other better.

3. Be more kind

It doesn’t really matter what another person does or says to you. He or she does it because of some inner reasons, mood or other things and not because of you. Maybe you did something before, but it’s not a reason to act like that. Anyway it’s not your fault and you have to understand that. If another person had a bad day ,you should be more kind and express your understanding to anything related to it. Try to connect with that person and think in one direction.

If you hate a person, then you’re defeated by them. Confucius