Don’t Be Afraid to Ask

The best piece of advice I’ve ever received

I just hung up the phone with a customer service representative from the hospital where my son received treatment in the emergency room. As I put the phone down, I mentally nodded and thanked my friend, Nancy, for teaching me about the power of “don't be afraid to ask.” It’s still sometimes hard for me to live by this mantra but I find more often than not that I take Nancy’s advice and simply ask for whatever it is I want. It sounds crazy but it works!

“Don’t be afraid to ask” is hands down the best piece of advice I’ve been given and you can apply it to almost everything in life.

You’ve heard the expression, “The answer is always no unless you ask” right? Well, this is the same thing, sort of. This is a more specific approach though, in that you don’t ask for a yes or no, you ask for exactly what you want and using this method you usually get very close!

In the case of the emergency room bill, I asked, “If I pay this bill in full, how much can you take off?” Nobody was going to offer to take any money off the bill until I asked, but she was not at all taken aback by my request. She did some calculations and said, “25%.” Fair enough, I pulled out my FSA card and paid it. By asking, I saved $500!

There have been times when the answer is “10%” so I use level two of Nancy’s strategy and ask, “Is that all you can do?” or “Is there something more you can do?” and by simply asking one more time, I usually get another 5–10% removed from the bill.

Here are some more examples to get you started thinking about how and when you can use the don’t be afraid to ask strategy in your life.

New refrigerator delivered to the house: tiny dent in the corner. I could ignore it but hey, I paid for it brand new, not scratch-n-dent, so I called Sears and received $75 off my bill.

Delivery men fail to arrive on the day they were scheduled. Nancy calls to inquire and asks, “What are you willing to do for my inconvenience?” They offer to remove the delivery fee altogether and reschedule. Drivers fail to make second scheduled delivery, Nancy calls again and asks the same question. Now the dryer is free! I kid you not!

A loyal Marriott girl, I am never disappointed in my stays at any of the Marriott chains, but that one Marriott in Detroit was a blight on the Marriott name. I told the manager this. I had to relocate to three rooms before I found one “clean” room and my co-workers found a condom in their pull out sofabed. Ok, not used, but still! I voiced my complaints to the manager and said (this time it was less of an ask), “What are you going to do to compensate me for this miserable stay?” How about 25K points (clearly just to get me to shut up). That’ll do, but it was no excuse for a dirty hotel room!

Floor specials or open boxes at the store. Simply ask, “How much can you reduce this item for me?” You’ll be surprised at how much authority even the sales clerks have for marking down items. Just last month, I asked the Wal-mart cashier in the garden section to reduce a dried out pansy container. He pulled out his pricing wand and took off 75% for me!

These principles can apply from saving a few bucks to getting a job or an opportunity that can change the course of your life.

With a sick baby in our lives, my husband needed to change jobs in order to be home more. As an over-the-road truck driver, he often had to miss work to be at the hospital or rush home from out of state to meet me at the hospital. This was causing a lot of stress on him and our family.

A local dairy distributor was hiring drivers so we drove over so he could apply (pre-internet days). He went in and came back out looking dejected. “They’re hiring Class A CDL — I only have a Class B.” We sat in the car for a few minutes while I convinced him to go back in and ask, “If I apply, will you allow me to acquire my Class A license?” He was skeptical that by simply asking he could get what he needed. It worked! And he went on to become a supervisor and manager for that company where he still works today! What if I wouldn’t have pushed him to just ask?

A few months ago one of my favorite authors, Emily P. Freeman was going to be recording a podcast at one of my favorite podcaster’s homes here in Austin, Texas. There were a limited number of tickets available and by the time I read the e-mail and clicked on the link, they were all sold out.

I almost shrugged my shoulders and gave myself the lame pep talk that sounded something like this, “Well, it just wasn’t meant to be…maybe next time,” when Nancy’s words rang in my ears: DON’T BE AFRAID TO ASK!

I replied to the email and asked the sweet hostess if she could squeeze in one more seat for me since I was a huge fan of Emily and a member of her writer’s group, Hope*Writers. And what do you think happened? Susie replied that she had opened up one more ticket on her website for me so I hurried over and snatched it up!

Don’t be afraid to ask Medium to curate your stories!

I decided to not be afraid to ask just the other day when I emailed [email protected] and asked what I could do to get my articles noticed by the curators and distributed. I included the link to my profile and the links to three of my best-performing articles and asked if they would review them to see if they were worthy of distribution in Medium’s topics.

You won’t be shocked to hear that Matthew from Medium User Services replied to tell me that two of the stories I submitted were being distributed and that I “will be reviewed more reliably in the future.” Have you been discouraged that your articles on Medium are not being found by the curators? Here’s an easy solution: don’t be afraid to ask!

Below are the two stories that have been distributed.

You can use the don’t be afraid to ask strategy for anything, and once you start to apply it to your life, you’ll wonder why you were ever afraid to ask. It rarely fails to yield something. Remember, you are no worse off before you ask so there is no risk. And in most cases, people feel compelled to help in some way, so you usually end up with something simply by asking. More often, you open the door to a creative solution or the help you need by planting the seed in another’s mind.

“When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” — Paul Coelho

The universe wants to help you so start asking!