Don’t Be a Gold-Digger — Be an Intelligence-Digger Instead

The brain is much more valuable than money

The topic of gold-digging is controversial. Dating isn’t straightforward either: while many of us strive to find a happy and loving relationship, some are looking to use others. Gold isn’t the only thing you can “dig” for — there is also comfort, entertainment, sex, shelter, reputation — and many other things.

At the same time, there are good traits one might “dig” for — one of them is intelligence. I believe everyone should be an intelligence-digger, regardless of gender.

Intelligence-Digger 101

The easiest way to explain who an intelligence-digger is is to use me as an example. I, Joanna, am a self-proclaimed intelligence-digger — nice to meet you. I’m not interested in how much money the guy has — although a complete lack of motivation, employment history or career prospects probably would not be acceptable. Instead, I “dig” for actively utilized brains. In other words, I’m looking for an intelligent and smart guy.

Similarly, I don’t have many other criteria on my priority list. I’m not digging for reputation, because I don’t see a partner as a shiny accessory. Using someone for sex is not my intention either, although I have to clarify right away: I’m not a slut-shamer.

Instead of all that, I’m seeking a person with intelligence. By the way, when looking for friends, this trait should be on top of the list as well.

The Downsides of Gold-Digging

I never understood the idea behind gold-digging. First of all, going after someone who owns pretentious fancy stuff is stupid by definition. So what if the person has an expensive car? It’s incredibly easy to get a car loan — you don’t even have to make a ton of money to qualify for a new BMW. The same applies to a house: getting a mortgage can be the easy part, but the property owner might be slaving away at three different jobs for 30 years straight to cover the costs. If you observe pricey outfits and accessories, how would you know they weren’t purchased with a credit card?

The truth is, while looking for “gold” to dig, there is a good chance of stumbling upon a pile of debt instead — and don’t even get me started on the pile of fake. At the same time, everyone knows wealthy people who drive an old Buick, buy simple shirts from H&M and have no problem getting dinner from McDonald’s, not at a fancy restaurant. I should point out though: it’s absolutely possible to be both wealthy and smart, those two aren’t inter-exclusive.

Secondly, even if you find an individual with a ton of cash, it’s not a guarantee of success. They may have inherited it or received settlement money. They may have been lucky a few times and ended up in the right place at the right time. It’s fantastic to encounter a successful entrepreneur, business person or a Jack of all trades who can teach you something about motivation and success! But some flaunt their money at everyone around, and they are not even the ones who earned it thanks to being smart.

The Benefits of Intelligence-Digging

Intelligence is a different story. If a person earned money due to luck, they wouldn’t do too well when facing hardship. Repairing the sunken ship takes intelligence. And if the business tanks, being smart means having enough brains to build something new. Someone who has a lot of money, but not much intelligence, represents a short-term success. A smart person may not have a vault full of gold right away, but their intelligence represents a long-term success.

We live in a rapidly changing world, and we don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow. You might be on top of the world today — and lose it all tomorrow morning. A financial crisis, health crisis and quickly changing industries are great examples of that. You may have been a thriving, well-off pilot or a retail store owner until the beginning of 2020, but once the pandemic hit — all of it was gone, or it decreased significantly at the very minimum. Not to mention, having a high income doesn’t constitute investing smartly and building wealth.

Intelligence should be on top of the priority list for everyone. It’s important to note that emotional intelligence is equally important. This term includes so much, and success is only a small part of it.

Gold-Digging, However, is Often Misunderstood

I feel like everyone has a different definition of gold-digging. I, being a woman, encountered a few men in real life, and many more on the Internet, who had an unusual view on this term. According to them, if a girl expects them to buy her coffee or burger — she is unequivocally a gold-digger. I’m not sure how this works the other way around, but I can tell you that I have no problem buying a beverage or food for someone else.

I suppose, the way people see gold-digging is interconnected with their intelligence as is. But the debate who should pay in the relationship is a separate topic on his own.

Choose a Smart Partner Over a Rich One Any Day of the Year

Being rich doesn’t mean anything. For me personally, someone who is showing off to everyone around, may not always seem like an intelligent person — not emotionally, at least. Therefore, I tend to avoid show-offs.

There are many other traits to look for in a partnership. Kindness, care, altruism, sense of humour, compassion, motivation, and many more should be up there on the list next to the intelligence. But, in my opinion, money should never make it to that list.