Don’t allow anxiety or worry of judgement get in your way:
How I found my way back to the gym
The thought of exercise can feel very unappealing for many people for many different reasons — you may not feel comfortable attending a class or going to the gym, perhaps you struggle to find the time to fit in exercise, or you may live with a health condition that makes exercising difficult.
When I developed ME/CFS alongside other health issues back in 2011/2012 I went from being a regular gym-goer to being unable to get out of bed most of the time. Over the years I have tried to get my fitness levels back, but I’ve faced a few hurdles including dodgy knees, a dodgy hip & even dodgier hormones…
In the end, I lost confidence in myself at being able to exercise — although for too many years I kept the gym membership going — I felt that by letting that go I was giving in. I was fortunate that it wasn’t too expensive so would ignore the DD each month & keep the faith that maybe next month I’d get back there.
A while back I felt well enough to think about exercising once more. But due to my lack of movement, medication & unhealthy eating habits, I couldn’t face going to the gym. I felt so anxious about people there seeing my ‘fall from grace once again that I decided I would go back when I had lost ½ a stone.
Of course, I never got to the point of feeling like I looked okay enough to go — so another 3 months lapsed.
Once I began working on my own self-belief & self-confidence, I realised how many things I have been putting off for when I felt I looked good enough.
Whilst I do still have limitations due to my own health, there are things I have missed out on, friends I’ve missed out on spending time with — all because of how I viewed myself (28lbs heavier than I was before).
My message to you is, if we constantly hold ourselves back because of how we look — or how we fear others will perceive us — the only person getting punished is ourselves, and for what? To avoid judgement from others?
“Change yourself — you are in control” Mahatma Gandhi.
Exercise at home. Exercise comes in so many forms & with the magic of our now smart homes we can access tutorials & classes online so if you don’t feel confident enough to walk into a gym straightaway, a scroll on YouTube or other streaming services can be a fantastic way for you to build your confidence.
Go for a walk. This is free & is so good for you. It can be a great way to get your body moving. You can go at your own pace & for as long as you are able. Walking is also an amazing way to improve your emotional wellbeing.
Go to the gym. I was able to move through my self-doubt & return to the gym. I’m nowhere near to the fitness levels that I was previously, I sweat, I look like a tomato during & after my workouts & the reflection in the mirrors I see there (and there are lots of them…!) isn’t what I want it to be yet.
But guess what… nobody really looks at you, and if they do have an opinion, it isn’t obvious. I blend in as much as the next person. I’m only lifting relatively light weights & I know I look rather uncoordinated on the bench (Yup — those mirrors keep me updated…)
I don’t run on the treadmill because of my knees, and nor do I go on the highest resistance on the cross trainer — but that doesn’t matter. What matters is how I feel after I’ve been. I ache a little, but I feel SO GOOD!
I’m getting stronger each week & my confidence continues to grow. Days that I don’t feel able to go to the gym I take a walk or do something at home, but now I have the freedom to choose because I’m not allowing my mind to limit my choice.
I made a promise to myself to not let anxiety or fear of judgement stop me from doing things that I want to & I am so glad that I did.
Thank you for reading, I would love to know your experiences:
Have you held yourself back from things because of what you believe to be true about yourself?
Lynsey
I’ve fully appreciated the support of so many writers as I’ve been getting used to writing on Medium, and today I want to give a shoutout to Yana Bostongirl I loved this & could relate so much :)