Donald Trump is Causing the Breakup of Families and Friends
My friend says her dad can’t stand her anymore
My friend’s dad blames her and other Millenials for the problems that his hero, Donald Trump, is undergoing. First of all, her father is racist, and she’s not.
“Do you have sex with black men?” He asks her on an almost weekly basis.
“Maybe,” she says, and that aggravates him even further.
She’s single and as an adult can have sex with anybody she wants, even though I counsel her to be careful. The coronavirus is spreading through the young adult population, and it loves bars, crowds, and Tinder sex.
It loves church services too, even if the purpose is to worship God. God teaches us to be prudent; not stupid. There are many instances in the Bible that shows God or an angel instructing us to avoid destructive situations. (See Flight to Egypt (Matthew 2:13–23 NIV)
Anyway — I was telling you about the problems people are having as a result of the 2016 election.
So my friend is moving away from her parents to avoid drama. Her mother, who is not a Trumper, may even go with her…
You can always tell when someone in a group voted for Trump. When his name comes up, they stiffen and look away. I usually change the subject. They have their own conscience to bear. And I wonder how this is going to go down at the pearly gates. To be fair, God is greater than politics. But down here, politics are something we all have to go through.
Is it worth it to lose a friendship over Donald Trump?
Thomas Jefferson once said, “I never considered a difference of opinion in politics, in religion, in philosophy, as a cause for withdrawing from a friend.”
Perhaps…
Emily L. Hauser, a Chicago-based freelance writer & librarian, argues in her article When It Comes to Friendships, Politics Do Matter that friendship is real when there is a shared sense of vulnerability and safety. After all, if you have to hide part of your beliefs from someone, are they really your friend? She summarizes the article:
“But you know when you feel safe — and when you do, that’s where friendship lives.”
Even when we don’t agree, I do feel safe with my friends.
And if it’s not working, it’s difficult to unlove someone. So what do you do?
When analyzing these situations and the times we live in, we do know that the Donald Trump presidency is temporary — whether it’s four years or eight. That’s where one can find solace. Just like the presidents of the past, their influence will lessen with time.
The influence, though, is very strong in this case. How does one ignore Trump’s racism, anti-LGBTQ+ behavior, antisemitism, his antipathy towards Muslims, and sexism?
Though he has been defended by some, Trump has given plenty of evidence to be called a racist. This includes the hiring of white supremacists such as Stephen Miller, and Steve Bannon (now gone), in our White House. His administration has numerous links to various white supremacists and far-right groups. My mother used to say, and I understand it a bit better now, that you are who you hang with. Who does the president hang with? Racists.
And when the President of the United States said that white genocide was taking place-which it was not…these comments are not only embarrassing but more than a little disturbing. Our president was defending a neo-Nazi concept (in order to support racism) that doesn’t actually exist. And the whole world was watching.
President Trump’s hatreds are widespread:
Mexicans
Black Women:
“Trump under fire for racially-charged tweets against congresswomen”
People of Color:
“David Brooks, speaking on PBS NewsHour, called the president’s statements “pretty clearly racist” and said, “It fits into a pattern that we have seen since the beginning of his career, maybe through his father’s career, frankly. There’s been a consistency, pattern of harsh judgment against black and brown people.”
Jewish, Muslim, Black, Hispanic, Indian, and any non-white peoples:
“Trump once flirted with white nationalism. Now it’s a centerpiece of his White House.”
And we can’t forget the sexism:
Women:
“I better use some Tic Tacs just in case I start kissing her. You know, I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything.”
And yet 42% of women voted for the much-married Trump anyway after this statement came out.
This is President Donald J. Trump’s legacy. The only people he really seems to respect are old rich white men and dictators. The rest of us? Forget about it.
Even though Hillary Clinton won the most votes (48.2%) to Trump’s (46.1%), Trump still won the 2016 election by the electoral college. Almost sixty-six million people voted for Hillary. The rest voted for Trump.
Some of these Trump voters (almost sixty-three million!) are our relatives and our friends.
The coronavirus divided us even more
When President Trump called COVID19 a hoax, it became cemented in the minds of some of my friends. To this day, with over 140,000 dead and counting, they take every opportunity to not wear a mask. One friend, in particular, says it is nothing but the flu and nothing will change his mind. He’s angry that bars and restaurants are shutting down.
Our friendship is, I have to accept, suffering. With such a stark difference between us, it’s withering on the vine. He’s angry at me because he thinks I’m a sheep.
I’m angry at him because I’m black, and he’s a racist. But I didn’t know it until now. To him, racism is an inconvenience for other people. It’s not his problem. And a little racism never hurt anybody.
If we weren’t friends — and this fact he’d deny all day long…he’d be racist against me.
He’d say, in his defense, that I’m different than other black people.
I know because I’m been through this before. I worked for a manager who happened to grow up in a very racist environment. This guy worked with dozens of black people, including me, and our work ethic blew him away. We liked our jobs. We liked getting shit done. His worldview was rocked upside down. Instead of accepting that we were the norm and not the stereotype he had been imprinted with by his parents; he wanted us to be exceptional “Black” people…as if we were birthed out of a Black Panther movie. But we were normal working stiffs.
I’m not “different.”
I’m just me.
I’m losing this friend too.
Trump wants us to go back to the “Good Ole Days”
I watched as the president told the country that if I move into the suburbs, I’ll ruin it for white people.
“You’re going to abolish the suburbs with this,” Trump said in the Rose Garden Tuesday. — July 14, 2020
This was related to Biden's support for an Obama-era rule designed to combat racial discrimination in housing. Trump wants racial discrimination in housing. Really. Like father, like son.
Trump is still living in 1973 in his head. We’ve lived in the suburbs for over twenty-seven years. All of them were diverse. Values have doubled. The racism he wants to return to…is dated and obsolete.
This is the best he can do.
The coronavirus? Deaths are increasing, but the states are left alone. Neglected. There’s very little national coordination. The difficulties with the millions and millions of Americans who are jobless? He’s busy. The housing dilemma with unpaid real estate due to the COVID19? The president is AWOL…
But to foment racist ideologies among the citizens of the United States of America? President Trump has plenty of time to do that.
He wants to turn back the clock to the confederacy. Which, I’ll remind you, lost the Civil War.
Trump calls it the “American Way of Life.”
He wants us to fight like my friend and her father — a man who’s been co-opted by Fox News. Reinforce the white person’s fear of the “other.” He’ll be a pusher, not of drugs, but of white supremacy! Then, maybe, Trump thinks, he’ll win the election.
With techniques like this, it’s no wonder friends and families are breaking up. When the pressure hits, some people react harshly. Just like a zit when its squeezed — what’s in them comes out. Sometimes, it ain’t pretty.
Then again, if their moral values are so depleted should you bother?
For example; if they’re fine with racism, if they’re anti-immigrant, if they talk disparagingly about LGBTQ+ people, if they say words like the Chinese Virus (and snicker), if they hate Muslims, if they diminish the value of women as human beings, and call Hispanics rapists…should you be friends with them anyway?
Wait! A Christian sensibility arises. Shouldn’t one speak to them first? Give them a chance to see another person’s point of view? Hope that they will stop the hate?
Yes.
But if they insist on walking down this path, you have to let them go.
