Doing the Right Thing is Not Only Kind, but It Makes You Feel Good

Reflections on my kindness towards strangers.

Nancy Blackman’s writing prompt in Refresh the Soul got me thinking about acts of kindness.

How has kindness affected my life?

When I do a kind thing for others, I feel good. Period.

This is a story about doing the right thing, the kind thing

Years ago, I lived in a small mountain town. The mini-Tahoe playground would explode with tourists all summer long. It was difficult to take a left turn, even when the speed limit was 20 mph.

While there, an Indian woman hired me via email to film and edit a couple’s wedding anniversary over a few days. She had wonderfully romantic plans to go dancing on the beach at sunset, have a picnic in a kayak on the lake, a fine-dining dressed-up fancy dinner…you know, gooey googly-eyed stuff like that.

This sounded like a perfect job for my beginning videography business. Unusual, but totally up my alley. I was used to filming weddings. How cool would it be to film other things too? After negotiating the price and the product, we settled on filming the romantic dance on the beach.

When it came time to begin filming, I received an email saying that she would need to cancel the shoot entirely. She listed a series of unpleasant events, but the one I remember the most was that she said her husband lost his wallet in the lake after their boat flipped, and they almost drowned. !Que horrible!

Of course, I told her not to worry, that I was glad they were okay and that I would happily return the deposit.

That was the right thing to do, but it wasn’t the act of kindness that made me feel good.

To be honest, I felt put out. As a new business owner, I wanted that money. I put much of my self-worth into the products I create and the ability to earn money. It didn’t make me feel good to return the money, even though it was the right thing to do.

But what happened a month later did make me feel good

As the traffic got denser and left turns got more scarce, the only thing to do in a mountain town when you are a local is work. I had lots of holes in my schedule for my videography business, so I took a part-time job at a sandwich place. During the month of July, when it feels like a New York City sidewalk with much more fresh air, I worked more than full time.

But the thing about mountain towns in the western parts of the United States is that most don’t have air conditioning. My cabin didn’t, and neither did the place I worked. So, I would swim across the river out back, in between shifts, to cool off.

On this particular day, I was with a co-worker. We were swimming along when I looked down and saw something unusual on the bottom of the river. I realized that’s a wallet. We both dived down 10 feet a few times to pillage the treasure from the cold riverbed.

It became a competition between us. Who could get it first? I wanted to see it. I had a feeling of whose it was in my gut.

I took a deep breath, mustered up all my strength, and reached for the leather rectangle. Almost out of breath, I got it! Pushing upwards to gasp for air, I belted out a joyful glee as I surfaced.

Once to shore, we curiously investigated the contents. The ID matched the last name of my client. I knew it! I was so excited to have found their wallet. They were going to be so happy to get this back! I am sure they canceled everything already, but there was a picture and a hundred bucks cash!

“You should keep the money,” my adventurer colleague said. “Finders keepers.”

Now I felt like I was in my Philosophy 101 class in college. Keep the money in the wallet or return it?

I couldn’t remember what Plato or Aristotle thought the right thing was. So, I checked in with what I thought the right thing to do was.

I didn’t really think, though. This was more like a feeling, an inner knowing, of what I felt in my bones was the right thing to do.

“No, I am going to give it back.” My partner looked at me curiously, really? “They had such a bad time here. They are going to be stoked. It’s the right thing to do.”

I knew that going with my gut was the only way to live. When my actions contradict my inner wisdom, it creates a slew of unease–a conflicted, doubtful, hopeless worldview. Here I had the opportunity to join ranks with myself. I aligned my essence with my actions, and that is what feels great.

The owner was headed towards the police station, so she took the wallet. I needed to get back to work. I had a lingering thought, would she take the money?

At the end of the long day’s work-slinging sandwiches, I wrote my former client the exciting news. I found your wallet! She emailed back stoked! She replied that the cops told her the money was in there, too. Phew! That’s a relief.

By honoring yourself, you are treating yourself with kindness. And when you are aligned with your own kindness, you pass it on to others. That is refreshing to the soul.

Patty McMahon, M.Ed is an educator, a mother, wife, and dog lover writing about sobriety and wellness in the 21st c. To help others along their journey, she created a book club. Join her newsletter to get more insights on wellness delivered to your inbox.

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