Dog Sitting Sent My Typically Laid-Back Husband Over the Edge.

An electrifying story

My little brother called me on a warm Spring evening and asked me to dog-sit his sweet pup, Patsy, for the weekend. He warned me she was a tad rowdy.

No problem.

Absolutely I will. I’m sure she’ll get along well with my dogs.

I had never met Patsy before, and what I hadn’t prepared for was the Gazelle minus the antlers that would unfold from the back of his car.

To be 100% honest, I really didn’t care because my husband Jason would be doing the majority of the caretaking, and I had a party to host.

Jason was all confident, like:

I’m a dog whisperer, no worries.

My Kentucky Derby 2018 party was underway. I was meandering around, chatting with my friends, excitedly exclaiming over their festive Derby hats. These were a requirement to get into this party.

Leaning against my back deck, Mint Julep in hand, I suddenly saw what I thought was a deer running full speed across my backyard. Immediately after, I caught sight of Jason racing behind it, trying to catch up. He performed what I can only describe as a jump/skip and then a half cartwheel in an attempt to increase his speed.

After landing the cartwheel, he looked over his shoulder while picking up his pace and realized he was now part of a show. Have I mentioned he has a profoundly deep voice?

He screamed at me in that Bigfoot voice:

I CAN’T LOSE YOUR BROTHER’S DOG WHILE THEY ARE ON VACATION!

Listen, I know some of you will think that I should’ve helped at this point- but I can’t run. I easily could’ve made everything worse.

We were all silent now, just watching. Patsy gracefully leaped through the fence next door, into the neighbor’s yard. Jason is a tall, big-boned dude, and I could see him hesitate for a moment before his next move.

He tucked his legs and somersaulted through that fence. It would have been impressive, but

Unbeknownst to us, it was an electric fence.

OH MY GAWWWWDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!

The poor guy bellowed as his head lit up from one side of the fence, and his butt was shocked on the other side.

He got through the fence and started kicking anything he could see. Grass, mud, basically just kicking at the air. This made Patsy stop in her tracks, staring at him, turn around, and run back through that fence.

I guess he didn’t catch on the first time, or maybe he was confused from the shock because he ran at a record-breaking speed straight for the fence.

Gasps arose from the party-goers as he high jumped over the fence, catching his knee. This forced him into a quick spin, slamming his body into the fence head first, shocking him again. He momentarily swung there until his legs untangled, and he dropped to the ground. At that time, our friend Jerry was the only one with enough sense to spring to action, and he started to run to him.

Jason groaned loudly and rolled about three times before he sat up, waved an arm in the air, and said:

It’s cool man. I’m fine.

None of us knew what to do, so we averted our eyes as he got ahold of the dog and walked it inside the house.

He walked back out 3 minutes later, beer in hand and hair askew, but other than that, perfectly healthy.

He dropped down onto a chair and exploded into laughter, and the entire party followed.

And that’s the story of how my husband was sent over the edge while dog sitting.

Safety disclaimer: Here are some facts about electric fences. Nobody was hurt this time, but PLEASE don’t do this just for fun.