Does She Like You or Is She Just Being Nice? 4 Ways to Be Sure

It’s really not that difficult to tell.

A lot has been said and written about the way women treat men they like vs. the ones they are indifferent to, and still, men are none the wiser.

Women, however, see a very clear distinction between the way they treat men they want close and men they want as far away as possible, possibly on a barge somewhere.

This article will help you figure out where her level of interest is.

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1. How many questions has she asked you lately?

Never underestimate the power of an inquisitive mind. There’s a very clear thing people in general do when they’re interested in somebody: they show their interest by asking questions about them.

They want to know them better, find out what makes them tick, in hope they’ll be able to one day be the source of that ticking. They also want to know if they’re a good match and the answers to said questions will help.

No matter how evolved we think we are, our biology still gets the best of us and the main reason for interest in another person is reproduction of the species.

Sure, we’ve evolved enough to derail Mother Nature’s original intent, but that purpose that was instilled in us is still there, lurking in the shadows.

So if we’re all looking to procreate, whether we’re aware of it or not, questions to a potential male partner about his life are vital to producing and raising healthy offspring.

So look out for a heightened sense of interest in you and your life, things that go beyond the polite ‘How are you’ and ‘So what do you do for a living’? If she wants to know details and she listens intently, chances are she’s into you, not just being nice.

Also, you might have been blind to this so far, but notice if she already knows a lot about you, because she might have been listening to you talk in a group, or to others talking about you, and compiled a lot of information indirectly.

If she knows your shoe size and that your favorite socks have pictures of your dog Nugget, and you barely know her name, she’s definitely into you.

2. Touch is power.

I said it before but I believe it deserves repeating: women are freaked out by men touching them. By all men but a chosen few: the men they have a romantic and sexual interest in.

I know it’s hard to hear, especially since most men are the opposite way: they love a woman’s touch, and actually most women’s touches, but hey, it is what it is.

It’s better to learn from it than be triggered by something we can’t change.

Unless she’s into you, she doesn’t want you to touch her. Ever, under any circumstances. Unless she has fallen down a deep ravine and you’re pulling her up, there’s no need to touch any woman.

However, if you see her innocently touching you, this might be something more than meets the eye, because most women rarely touch most men.

What are innocent touches? For example: she picks a piece of lint off your sweater, or she hands you something right from the palm of her hand, or she grazes past you in a tight entryway instead of waiting for you to clear that entry first.

A good tell-tale sign is if she allows you in her personal space, which is at an arm’s length away from her body.

Having a man too close to her feels threatening for a woman, but if you’re allowed to be there and you’re not close friends, it’s because she wants her body close to your body.

Also, if you innocently touch her and she doesn’t jump up and run away from your touch, it’s possibly because she’s attracted to you.

However, I need to state this again: don’t try to touch her just to see how she reacts. Even if she might have been interested in you before, there are high chances she’ll be put off by this gesture.

3. Jealousy is the punishment for unequal love.

It’s also what we feel on top of attraction when our object of desire considers a different object to share that desire with.

Jealousy comes in many shapes and forms. Sometimes it’s nothing more than a side glance in the wrong direction. And sometimes it’s kicking and screaming.

Granted that if somebody is kicking and screaming out of jealousy when you’re not even together, you should keep away and not even care that she’s into you.

Watch out for small signs of jealousy. Most women are smart enough to not put it out there for you to notice.

For example, playful banter at other women in your life can also be a form of jealousy.

My client Susie had a crush on this guy from the gym. He was tall, he was hot, and he had 0 interest in her after they slept together. He did have an interest in everyone that moved and he hadn’t slept with yet.

‘What does she have that I don’t?’ Susie would ask in agony.

‘Genitals that he hasn’t yet seen.’ I would reply.

Seriously, nothing more. The guy had a single brain cell and he was using it for intercourse.

That being said, Susie stayed friends with him, obviously hoping to one day be more than that, and would always make a point of making fun of his constant stream of one-night stands.

He probably knew what she was doing and was stringing her along, basking in the light of her attention and free adoration, but Susie thought she was weaning him off those women by making fun of them. Wrong. He couldn’t care less about her or them.

It might not be so obvious in your life, but watch out for a woman around you and how she reacts to other women around you.

If she doesn’t welcome them with open arms, is there a deeper reason?

4. Knights in shining armors sometimes have breasts.

This might surprise you, but a woman who likes you will defend you against others. I’ve seen it happen more than I’ve seen it done by men for women, but that’s a whole different story.

Not too long ago, I was in that situation myself. I went out with a bunch of colleagues from work. There’s this guy there that I kind of like, but I don’t do anything about it because he’s got a girlfriend and I don’t trespass on another woman’s territory.

However, my biology sometimes gets the best of me and I find myself all starry-eyed before I even notice what I’m doing.

Here’s what happened. Apart from this guy I liked, let’s call him Oliver, the group also included another man who liked me, and who was trying to mock and belittle Oliver in front of me, possibly to impress me.

While I despise displays of toxic masculinity, he also found a way to do it in the most disgusting way possible: by talking about animal cruelty.

He tried to mock Oliver for having the empathy to not eat baby animals, and I instantly jumped up to defend him: ‘Only a real man has empathy. Little boys are cruel to animals and everyone around them. I’m proud of you, Oliver.’

Oliver was proud of himself too and not even 10 minutes after that he took the opportunity to also defend me in front of the same guy who was frustrated by my very public put-down.

It was a good day. We all had fun. Except for that mean guy who also left earlier.

So, guys, if she opens her mouth to defend what you stand for, chances are she’s not just being nice. She likes you.

But although there are many ways to tell if she likes you or she’s just being friendly, there are also many ways to trick yourself into believing what you want to believe instead of the truth. Aren’t our fantasies almost always better than reality?

However, there is a way to be sure that she likes you and she’s not just being friendly: ask her out. If she says yes, she likes you. If she says no, it doesn’t matter if she likes you or not, because she wouldn’t go out with you anyway, so you can move on to somebody who really does.