Does Being a Mother Uniquely Qualify You for the Role of President?

It does, according to New Hampshire Governor Chris Sununu

New Hampshire Governor Chris Sununu recently stepped away from the 2024 US presidential race and endorsed GOP candidate Nikki Haley.

Since then, Sununu brims with enthusiasm for Haley. Together, they launched a media tour to promote her candidacy.

When asked what would make Haley a good president during a CNN interview with the pair, Sununu listed a number of qualities and qualifications. He especially emphasized, “She’s a wife and a mom.”

Sununu believes Haley’s marital and childbearing status allows her to “connect” more than the male candidates.

I had a hard time swallowing this brazenly sexist statement that doubles as a slur against child-free women.

Why hasn’t the country had a flood of wife-mother presidents to date if they’re so uniquely qualified for the role?

If asked about the qualities of a male candidate, Sununu would never say, “He’s a husband and a father.”

And where does Sununu’s statement leave child-free or single women? You need not apply for this role since you lack the basic defining qualities that make you an exceptional connector—a husband and a brood.

But no one raises an eyebrow to this kind of culturally embedded sexism even when it's broadcast on national news channels. The interviewer, consciously or unconsciously, gave it a pass.

Sununu could have simply said Haley connects extraordinarily well with people. He didn’t need to attribute this quality to her status as a wife and mother and reinforce false gender stereotypes.

Maybe Sununu wanted to set Haley apart from the other GOP candidates. If so, wouldn’t you underline her time as the US Ambassador to the United Nations and consequent experience in foreign affairs, not her success at procreation or marriage certificate?

But no, Sununu waves the banner of wifeliness and motherhood as a defining qualification for candidate Haley.

Is there any truth to his position? Let’s consider a few of the qualities most people want to see in a president, knocking off this whole “better connector” idea first.

Are mothers more empathetic than child-free women?

Not if you consider the cases of Diane Downs, Andrea Yates, or Susan Smith, who all murdered their children. Their children were respectively shot with a shotgun, cut with a knife, and drowned.

Short of murder, think of all the children who have struggled with emotionally absent mothers. The impact of this form of neglect has left scars that have followed these children into adulthood.

We cannot absolutely say that mothers are more empathetic or more able to connect than child-free women.

Are mothers smarter than child-free women?

According to Pew Research, childlessness is more prevalent among women with higher levels of education:

“While just 7% of women who lack a high school diploma are childless, this share about doubles, to 13%, for those who graduated from high school or have some college experience. Among women with a bachelor’s degree or more, about one-in-five are childless — 19% for those with a bachelor’s degree only; 22% for those with a master’s degree; and 20% for those with an M.D. or Ph.D.”

Maybe Sununu got it backwards. Maybe being child-free gives you more of an edge when it comes to being president.

Are mothers wiser and more honest than child-free women?

According to political analyst, David Gergen, former President John Adams sent this short prayer in a letter to his wife Abagail.

“I pray Heaven to bestow the best of Blessings on this House, and on all that shall hereafter inhabit it. May none but honest and wise Men ever rule under this roof.”

Presumably, everyone wants a wise and honest president. But consider for a moment mothers who have engaged in fraudulent activities.

Actress Felicity Huffman spent time in prison due to her fraudulent actions in the 2019 college admissions scandal. She paid $15,000 to have her daughter’s SAT (college entrance exams) scores falsified.

Homemaker extraordinaire Martha Stewart was found guilty of charges related to securities fraud and the obstruction of justice. She also spent time in prison.

Both mothers compromised their integrity when it served their own purposes.

We certainly can’t say that mothers are automatically more honest than childfree women, can we?

Anyone can gain strength and perspective from their life experiences—married or single, mother, father or child-free, male, female, non-binary, transgender or genderqueer.

It’s ridiculous and sexist to claim a candidate for president can connect more because she’s a wife and mom.

What we really need in a president is a person, whatever their gender orientation, who balances both “traditional” female and male qualities.

For example:

• Compassionate and firm
• Logical and intuitive
• Quick and slow, depending on what the situation requires

And ultimately, we need to blow up these traditional gender stereotypes altogether and let people be who they are.

So what should we do about Chris Sununu? I give him credit for supporting a female candidate for president.

But when it comes to his sexist remarks, I suggest we take the approach of British actress. Helen Mirren:

“[Motherhood] was not my destiny, I kept thinking it would be, waiting for it to happen, but it never did, and I didn’t care what people thought…It was only boring old men [who would ask me]. And whenever they went, ‘What? No children? Well, you’d better get on with it, old girl,’ I’d say ‘No! F*** off!’”

We really don’t need to talk about the wifey qualification for president, do we?

P.S. This is not an endorsement of Haley for the US president.

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