Do You Want To Rent Out Your White Privilege For A Day?

So here’s the deal, I’ve got a lot of stuff that I need to do today, but I am a black woman. I don’t want to go to shopping because I know I will be followed around by the security guards, and after years of having to go through that, it gravely upsets me. I know that if I go out to walk my dog, I might meet that racist old lady around the corner and she may well insult me and spoil my day as well. I know that if I try to return the oversized jumper I purchased last week, it will be a hassle.

Somedays, the sheer exhaustion of being black is just too hard to bear, too traumatic. And so that’s why I am asking to rent someone with white privilege for a day. You might think that that’s absurd, but it’s not. Imagine how much less stressful my life would be with little to zero racism? I’m already breathing a sigh of relief just thinking about my rented white privilege.

Seriously, I think that people with white privilege should consider monetizing it by renting it out for a day, a month, a year? Now that’s a value proposition that many black and brown people could well buy into. Could you imagine not having to deal with racist cab drivers, shop keepers, travel agents, waiters, hotel receptionists, neighbors, colleagues, school teachers — the list is endless? That would be a dream. All you would need to do is use your rented person with white privilege to do all these things for you.

The way I see it is that I won’t have to go through the pain, anguish, and trauma of racism for a single more day for the rest of my life. Now, what an extraordinary life that would be! Take a moment and think about the possibilities. Imagine getting someone with white privilege to drive you around town — you won’t ever get stopped as much by the police, you won’t face the likelihood of being hurt or shot by law enforcement. You’d be able to purchase things without the pain of being considered a thief the minute you set foot in a store — you’ll live a carefree life devoid of racism-related pain and emotional distress. I’ll take that any day.

How about an online platform or a Facebook group for white people to rent out their privilege? Adverts would read like this:

“I’m a 31-year-old white male and I can help you get a bank loan in a few hours”.

“I’m a 40-year-old classy white lady and I can get you that Prada handbag this afternoon if you would like”.

“We’re a 45-year-old white couple and we can attend your parent-teacher meeting for you”.

One could even think of an emergency service that would be able to deliver white privilege within minutes of a request being made. Say you're just about to get stopped by police, a bit of white privilege would go a long way.

I mentioned in an earlier article that white privilege is an infinite resource. No matter what white people do — from petty theft to grand larceny, it stays with them all of their lives and they benefit from it every day. To tackle racism, I suggested that white people create a massive tidal wave of kindness by generously sharing their privilege with black and brown people.

A lot of people contest the fact that white privilege exists — I’ve been awfully trolled for saying and showing that it does. Why don’t we do a scientific experiment of monetizing white privilege to convince the skeptics that it does really exist? Let us compare the quality of life of black and brown people who use this service versus those who don’t? I’m sure that white privilege deniers will be in for quite a surprise.

Thank you for reading my perspective.