Do You Understand Love?
Do you understand your wedding vows?
For Better or For Worse — In Sickness and In Health
When we marry, we may mouth these words. They are part of the tradition and included in most marriage ceremonies.
We do not understand those words, the brevity of them. If we are spared sickness in life or a debilitating accident, we may never recognize what we have just promised. Even when we are younger and witness a sick grandparent or parent, we may not realize the intensity.
When we marry or form a bond with another person, we may not understand love.
If you look at the definition of love in a dictionary, you will see these words — an intense feeling of deep affection, a great interest, and pleasure in something, or feeling deep affection for (someone).
In my opinion, the definition does not encompass the meaning of love. It will take much more than feeling a deep affection for someone to survive the hardship of an illness that strips the object of your feelings of many, if not all, of the qualities that made them who they were.
Can your love survive, or will it melt away, leaving a puddle of emotions?
Many people walk away because they cannot cope. They say they are not equipped to handle the responsibility. I believe they did not understand love and all its complexities.
There will also be many people who will stay and do what they feel they are obligated to do. Love will teeter there like a see-saw, moving up and down, like in a children’s playground. Most days, you might want nothing more than to jump off.
What you will experience is not child’s play. There may be days when you drop to your knees in frustration and anger. Sorrow will overwhelm you.
You will find it difficult to watch one suffer and struggle to breathe and remember how to swallow, walk, and talk. Everything we take for granted is stripped away.
When you look into their eyes, you may not see the person anymore. Where did the light that used to shine there go? Will it come back?
You will question everything.
You will crave what your life together used to be with all the little nuances, those subtle quirks of the other person, and your reactions to them.
If you are lucky, you will realize that love grows in the worst of circumstances. If you let yourself, you will become a petri dish — taking a bit of this and a bit of that and let it mix and grow.
Your love will endure becoming stronger with understanding and depth that you had never experienced before or imagined was possible.
You will make a new definition of love.
