avatarSherry McGuinn

Summary

The article discusses the film "The Mother," which challenges societal perceptions of female sexuality, particularly among older women, through the courageous performances of its lead actors.

Abstract

The film "The Mother," starring Anne Reid and Daniel Craig, serves as a poignant commentary on the sexual desires and agency of older women, a demographic often overlooked or dismissed in mainstream media. The narrative follows a dissatisfied woman in her sixties who embarks on an unexpected sexual awakening after the death of her husband, defying societal taboos and her own family's expectations. The article emphasizes the raw honesty and bravery in the film's portrayal of mature sexuality, highlighting the transformative power of embracing one's desires regardless of age.

Opinions

  • The author criticizes ageist attitudes that deny the sexuality of older women, arguing that such views are outdated and ignorant.
  • The film is praised for its realistic and erotic depiction of a sexual relationship between an older woman and a younger man, challenging the stereotype that older bodies are not sexually desirable or active.
  • The author commends Anne Reid's performance for its vulnerability and authenticity, particularly noting her willingness to appear nude and embrace the physical reality of her character's age.
  • The article suggests that "The Mother" is a thought-provoking piece of art that should prompt viewers to reconsider their preconceived notions about female sexuality and aging.
  • The author expresses a personal connection to the film, having watched it multiple times and finding new insights with each viewing.
  • The article implies that the film's impact extends beyond the screen, encouraging a broader conversation about the representation and recognition of older women's sexuality in society.

Do You Think Older Women Neither Need, Nor Want Sex?

Don’t tell that to “The Mother.”

Image by Alexander Krivitskiy, Pexels

Several times in my writing, I have railed against ageism, especially where it regards women of a “certain age” and sexuality. There’s a lot of bullshit thinking out there, which is why I feel compelled to share the following.

For many of us, there are films that take only one viewing, and they stick in our subconscious well past the slow fade out. They seduce and beguile us…demand that we view them “one more time,” so that we can fully digest the message the filmmakers are trying to convey. Often, “one more time” turns into numerous viewings and we’re left with a different takeaway each time. True art will do that, no?

For me, “The Mother” is just such a film. Available on streaming apps like Amazon Prime and Netflix, I’ve watched it several times through the years and I’m always astounded by the courageous performances given by the leads, British actors Anne Reid and Daniel Craig. (Well before he was even considered to be the next James Bond.)

Produced in 2003, “The Mother” in roughly 115 minutes, perfectly encapsulates the way mature women are perceived, particularly when it comes to sexuality and sexual fulfillment.

I am certain that a particular segment of society feels that, for those women, and I am in that class, that ship has sailed off into the sunset.

Why? Because there are many among us who are disgusted by the thought of older folks getting busy…engaging in sexually specific activities, in other words. It doesn’t compute for them: The thought of two less-than-perfect bodies, “rode hard and put away wet,” getting their freaks on.

For those of you who have children in their teens or older, certainly, they would recoil in horror at the thought of their parents writhing around on sweat-soaked sheets. Of course, kids feel that way no matter how old their moms and dads are. I know I did. We’d prefer to believe we were dropped in their midst by a stork. Much less traumatizing and a lot more hygienic.

In “The Mother,” Anne Reid is a woman who wears “dissatisfaction” like a shroud. She is dissatisfied with her husband, her selfish children — who have discounted her for years — and indeed, life itself.

She lives in the bucolic quietude of Northern England and when she and her husband travel to London to visit their two children, a resentful divorced single mother and a well-to-do son with a mannequin wife and two bratty kids, her husband promptly has a heart attack and dies, which proves to be very convenient for our girl.

His death sets off the chain of events — or event — that is at the core of this compelling drama.

Craig co-stars as Reid’s daughter’s bum of a boyfriend, a carpenter and artist half mom’s age, with a penchant for popping handfuls of pills…any kind of pills…and who is also building a sunroom for the wealthy princeling of a son. That said, most of the action takes place in the son’s palatial home, the perfect testament that “low budget” doesn’t have to mean dreck.

One day, as Reid’s character watches the brutishly studly carpenter doing his thing, something clicks in her and she engages him in conversation. There, we find out that she once had artistic aspirations of her own, that in her humdrum world, ultimately shriveled up like a detached umbilical cord.

Undoubtedly, Craig’s character is sexy. Seeing him hammer away at a two-by-four in jeans and a T-shirt brings to mind a hammering of another kind.

And this is before he had his teeth fixed! (They all have. Get over it.)

We also find out that years ago, our protagonist had an affair with a local merchant. A wealthy man who “took her into his bed,” and wanted to run away with her, a gameplan that she initially agreed to, and enthusiastically, but then reluctantly rejected as she couldn’t bear the guilt of abandoning her family.

When the carpenter asks her if she enjoyed having sex with the merchant, her answer, “Oh, yes,” accompanied by a shy yet flirty grin, is perfection.

It is at this moment, that we look beyond the frumpy demeanor to the woman that “The Mother” was, and still is. As harsh as it sounds, after her husband’s death, she comes alive again and is as flummoxed as we are that SHE STILL WANTS SEX.

And she has it. One day, when the family is out and only she and the carpenter are in the house, she asks him, in halting tones…if he would “take her upstairs.” And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the beginning of a rebirth. And we simply can’t tear our eyes away from this story that is unflinching in its raw honesty.

I mentioned the stars’ bravery. Reid is especially gutsy in that she literally lets it all hang out. Rarely do we see the naked, pendulous breasts of a sixty-something woman other than in smash cuts: A bath…a shower…like that.

When she asks her lover, “What do you see? A big, shapeless lump?” we ache for her.

There are at least a couple of smokin’ hot sex scenes, so erotic you can practically smell the ripe tang of them. One of them apparently took two days to film. If you watch the movie, you’ll understand why.

I can go on and on but I don’t want to give anything away. Let me just add that the music, a haunting piano score perfectly accents the overall feeling of longing, of something lost, yet found again.

Whether or not “The Mother” changes your view of female sexuality as it pertains to women who have some “seasoning” to them, the film stands on its own as a thought-provoking, highly entertaining piece of art. And I can’t wait to see it again.

Sherry McGuinn is a slightly-twisted, longtime Chicago-area writer and award-winning screenwriter. Her work has appeared in The Chicago Tribune, Chicago Sun-Times, and numerous other publications. Sherry’s manager is currently pitching her newest screenplay, a drama with dark, comedic overtones and inspired by a true story.

As always, thanks for reading. If you enjoyed this, please check out the following:

Sexuality
Ageism
Film
Older Women
Sex
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