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Abstract

to an interesting conclusion: The decision we make also depends on how confident we feel about evaluating an option. “While we already knew which brain region controls the perceived value of a choice, we were now able to study the neural signals in the same brain area during self-confident and less self-confident decisions,” says Dolan.So our self-confidence, about the situation in which we are supposed to decide, also plays a role.We gain <a href="https://readmedium.com/strengthening-self-confidence-the-best-tips-f8139c0d0295?source=your_stories_page-------------------------------------">self-confidence</a> primarily by referring to previous experiences. Maybe you have already had the experience that your gut feeling shows you the right way and can rely on your feelings more easily.Or maybe you regret a past decision and are afraid of making the same mistake again, feel insecure and less “confident” about taking responsibility for a decision at all.But now more about the five tips that can help you make your next decision.<h1 id="e1f9">1. Make a pro-con list</h1>“Boring” you might be thinking. Yes, the pros and cons list is a true classic when it comes to decision-making. Nevertheless, it can tell you a lot about your values.It may well be that you have listed many more points under “Contra”, but still decide on something. So the arguments on the “pro” side seem to weigh more heavily. So it’s not enough to just count the list items.If both sides have the same number of arguments, you can assign numbers from one to three to the individual points. One stands for less important, and three for very important. In the end, add up the points and find out which reasons are decisive for your decision.<h1 id="aae3">2. Imagine telling 100 people about it</h1>Imagine you tell 100 people about your project. It’s not about every person being familiar to you. They can also be strangers. What advice would these people give you? What would they think of your decision? Of course, you don’t need to interview 100 people.This little thought experiment can help defuse your situation. Some people would certainly find your decision easy and would not be able to understand why you are so concerned.The drama arises in a spiral of thoughts. If we share our thoughts with others, they suddenly seem less threatening. So imagine what most of your 100 little advisors would tell you. Maybe you can already see a first tendency.<h1 id="82cd">3. Say goodbye to black-and-white thinking</h1>A or B, left or right, yes or no — often we see only two possibilities. What keeps us from making a choice is the fear of doing something wrong. We think about the possible consequences, of what the decision means for our future.If you have to choose between apples and pears, you won’t have much of a disadvantage if you would have preferred to eat the other fruit for breakfast the next day. When it comes to making a big investment, choosing a school for your child, or quitting your job, it’s a different story.Try not to move between “right” or “wrong” or “what then/what if”. Instead of getting stuck with two options, ask yourself: Where is the middle? Is there a gray area that could satisfy me? Is there a combination of the two? Is there a plan C or other options that I haven’t even considered yet?Realize that there will be no such thing as the perfect decision. Above all, make decisions

Options

from the here and now, without painting the devil on the wall or creating disaster scenarios in your head.There are more colors in the world than simply black and white. Take advantage of it!<h1 id="9588">4. Ask yourself what it’s all about</h1>You are standing in front of the display at the bakery or in front of the ice cream parlor. Chocolate or vanilla? Croissant or Franzbrötchen? You think back and forth.You want to treat yourself, but what if you choose the wrong thing now? What if one tastes much better than the other?You may be familiar with situations where small decisions turn into an inner struggle. Ask yourself what it’s about. You’ll probably find that your feelings don’t have that much to do with the ice.You want to do something good for yourself — whether it’s chocolate or vanilla. It could even be that you suddenly don’t need ice cream at all, but prefer to drive home and to your bed as quickly as possible.Another option would be to ask yourself what you hope to get out of a decision. What do you want the decision to solve for you? If you focus on what’s important to you, you’ll make the right decision. And that may have nothing to do with the options in front of you.<h1 id="d0aa">5. Trust yourself</h1>First of all, stress is counterproductive when it comes to making decisions. Your brain is then in a state of alarm — not a good time to evaluate important things appropriately.So make sure that you give yourself peace and time to make your decision. You can also meditate on a specific decision. By this, we don’t mean that you sit still and chew through all the possibilities in your mind.Before meditating, ask yourself a question and try to observe your feelings and thoughts during the meditation. Let it pass by and connect with the silence within you.Often it also helps to simply sleep on it for a night. Especially when it comes to big decisions. See how you feel the next day or after the meditation. Above all, trust your inner teacher. It doesn’t matter if that’s your gut feeling or your brain, which rationally weighs everything up.Once the decision has been made, stand firm. Stand by your decision and, if possible, communicate it without doubt. Stick to what you’ve decided to do, even if there is resistance from the outside.Only you know what’s important to you, what you need right now. If, after your decision, the situation turns out differently than you hoped, don’t look at what you’ve done with remorse.With remorse, you are doing wrong what seemed right to you in another moment. Stay in the here and now. Few things are set in stone.If you’re unhappy about your decision, see what you can learn from it and see if there are opportunities for change. We make decisions at the moment, but what comes out of them is a living process that develops and changes constantly.Maybe you’re facing a difficult decision right now. Free yourself for a moment from all the advice and signposts on the outside. Focus your full attention on the feeling that is inside you right now. Listen. The answer is already resonating.Read also: <a href="https://readmedium.com/how-to-overcome-difficult-situations-in-life-f29f07a9e719?source=your_stories_page-------------------------------------">How to Get Through Tough Times in Life</a><a href="https://www.7mind.de/">Sources</a></article></body>

Do you struggle with making decisions?

The fear of a misstep can take a lot of energy. We’ll give you some simple tips to help you make good decisions faster.

Making Decisions — 5 Tips

What am I wearing tonight? Where am I going to eat tonight? What should I do at the weekend? Which degree program is right for me? Should I break up with my partner? Shall I leave my job?

Our entire life is made up of small decisions. Some of them can influence the entire course of life, others decide only on a short experience.

The feeling of having a choice gives us freedom and creative possibilities. However, being able to choose between several options — or sometimes having to — is a difficult undertaking for many people. At best, you weigh up carefully and conclude within a very short time.

But it can also happen that you go around in circles for hours or even days, playing through all the scenarios and not being satisfied with any solution. The dilemma: When we get stuck in our thoughts, we freeze inside and become unable to commit to anything.

These 5 tips will make it easier for you to make decisions:

Make a pros and cons list
Imagine telling 100 people about it
Say goodbye to black-and-white thinking
Ask yourself what it’s all about
Trust yourself

More about the tips in a moment. First, let’s clarify why some decisions are so difficult.

Why is it so tough for us to make decisions?

Spoilt for choice

Of course, there are different types of decisions. Choosing a good outfit can be annoying, but it only keeps us busy for the duration of the occasion. Choosing a holiday destination or restaurant ends in a decision, but it is a pleasant activity.

It becomes more difficult when we have to make decisions that can have an impact on our entire lives. Often, fears of the future or failure automatically intervene.

This leads to us becoming insecure and eventually paralyzing ourselves to such an extent that we continue to delay the decision. The process of decision-making then torments us more than the decision itself.

Surely you know the liberating feeling when a decision is finally made — even if it has unpleasant consequences. What happens in our brains when we are faced with a decision?

The brain has its say

From a biological point of view, it is understandable that we have difficulty with decisions. After all, our brain is made up of two halves that need to communicate with each other.

Ray Dolan and his colleagues at University College London have investigated which brain regions are involved when we determine the value of individual options.

The researchers came to an interesting conclusion: The decision we make also depends on how confident we feel about evaluating an option. “While we already knew which brain region controls the perceived value of a choice, we were now able to study the neural signals in the same brain area during self-confident and less self-confident decisions,” says Dolan.

So our self-confidence, about the situation in which we are supposed to decide, also plays a role.

We gain self-confidence primarily by referring to previous experiences. Maybe you have already had the experience that your gut feeling shows you the right way and can rely on your feelings more easily.

Or maybe you regret a past decision and are afraid of making the same mistake again, feel insecure and less “confident” about taking responsibility for a decision at all.

But now more about the five tips that can help you make your next decision.

1. Make a pro-con list

“Boring” you might be thinking. Yes, the pros and cons list is a true classic when it comes to decision-making. Nevertheless, it can tell you a lot about your values.

It may well be that you have listed many more points under “Contra”, but still decide on something. So the arguments on the “pro” side seem to weigh more heavily. So it’s not enough to just count the list items.

If both sides have the same number of arguments, you can assign numbers from one to three to the individual points. One stands for less important, and three for very important. In the end, add up the points and find out which reasons are decisive for your decision.

2. Imagine telling 100 people about it

Imagine you tell 100 people about your project. It’s not about every person being familiar to you. They can also be strangers. What advice would these people give you? What would they think of your decision? Of course, you don’t need to interview 100 people.

This little thought experiment can help defuse your situation. Some people would certainly find your decision easy and would not be able to understand why you are so concerned.

The drama arises in a spiral of thoughts. If we share our thoughts with others, they suddenly seem less threatening. So imagine what most of your 100 little advisors would tell you. Maybe you can already see a first tendency.

3. Say goodbye to black-and-white thinking

A or B, left or right, yes or no — often we see only two possibilities. What keeps us from making a choice is the fear of doing something wrong. We think about the possible consequences, of what the decision means for our future.

If you have to choose between apples and pears, you won’t have much of a disadvantage if you would have preferred to eat the other fruit for breakfast the next day. When it comes to making a big investment, choosing a school for your child, or quitting your job, it’s a different story.

Try not to move between “right” or “wrong” or “what then/what if”. Instead of getting stuck with two options, ask yourself: Where is the middle? Is there a gray area that could satisfy me? Is there a combination of the two? Is there a plan C or other options that I haven’t even considered yet?

Realize that there will be no such thing as the perfect decision. Above all, make decisions from the here and now, without painting the devil on the wall or creating disaster scenarios in your head.

There are more colors in the world than simply black and white. Take advantage of it!

4. Ask yourself what it’s all about

You are standing in front of the display at the bakery or in front of the ice cream parlor. Chocolate or vanilla? Croissant or Franzbrötchen? You think back and forth.

You want to treat yourself, but what if you choose the wrong thing now? What if one tastes much better than the other?

You may be familiar with situations where small decisions turn into an inner struggle. Ask yourself what it’s about. You’ll probably find that your feelings don’t have that much to do with the ice.

You want to do something good for yourself — whether it’s chocolate or vanilla. It could even be that you suddenly don’t need ice cream at all, but prefer to drive home and to your bed as quickly as possible.

Another option would be to ask yourself what you hope to get out of a decision. What do you want the decision to solve for you? If you focus on what’s important to you, you’ll make the right decision. And that may have nothing to do with the options in front of you.

5. Trust yourself

First of all, stress is counterproductive when it comes to making decisions. Your brain is then in a state of alarm — not a good time to evaluate important things appropriately.

So make sure that you give yourself peace and time to make your decision. You can also meditate on a specific decision. By this, we don’t mean that you sit still and chew through all the possibilities in your mind.

Before meditating, ask yourself a question and try to observe your feelings and thoughts during the meditation. Let it pass by and connect with the silence within you.

Often it also helps to simply sleep on it for a night. Especially when it comes to big decisions. See how you feel the next day or after the meditation. Above all, trust your inner teacher. It doesn’t matter if that’s your gut feeling or your brain, which rationally weighs everything up.

Once the decision has been made, stand firm. Stand by your decision and, if possible, communicate it without doubt. Stick to what you’ve decided to do, even if there is resistance from the outside.

Only you know what’s important to you, what you need right now. If, after your decision, the situation turns out differently than you hoped, don’t look at what you’ve done with remorse.

With remorse, you are doing wrong what seemed right to you in another moment. Stay in the here and now. Few things are set in stone.

If you’re unhappy about your decision, see what you can learn from it and see if there are opportunities for change. We make decisions at the moment, but what comes out of them is a living process that develops and changes constantly.

Maybe you’re facing a difficult decision right now. Free yourself for a moment from all the advice and signposts on the outside. Focus your full attention on the feeling that is inside you right now. Listen. The answer is already resonating.

Sources