Do You Say Something When The Food Tastes Terrible?

It depends on the context and situation

I’m a super easily pleased person. I genuinely don’t have a movie, book, or TV show that I didn’t like. I don’t have a food I don’t like (besides cucumbers), and I am not picky as an eater in the slightest. There have been plenty of times where pasta or rice with nothing added has been a snack. I can even count on one hand the people I’ve met I didn’t like and seen the positive side of.

Other people I’m around, however, do have opinions about food and tend not to be shy when voicing those opinions.

That’s what made the Pampered Chef party my wife and I held about a year and a half ago so interesting to me. Pampered Chef, unbeknownst to me at the time, is a seller of a variety of kitchen tools to make cooking easier. You can hold a Pampered Chef party where a consultant comes out, cooks food, and markets the items to a party, and there may be some fundraisers or rewards for the host and all who buy the items.

My wife and her family had done these parties before, so it seemed pretty cool to me. We had all of our closest friends in Baltimore come in for this party, and the consultant, John (not his real name), came in with his gear and cooking supplies. He showed us the ease with which certain pots, pans, and this concoction known as a Rockcrok have the convenience and versatility to be heated up or used in the microwave.

We all practiced with these supplies and were wowed by these various cooking supplies, and people prepared to buy some for their own use. We made toasted bread and pasta with vegetables and chicken.

All of it seemed to be going extremely well with all our party guests being happy — until the food was served and everyone ate it.

Ostensibly, all of our guests stayed happy. John was a really nice guy and as a White guy in a crowd with all people of color, he seemed to be able to blend in incredibly well, make jokes that made everyone laugh, and make conversation on almost any topic. I mention race now because it did come up as an issue later.

I will also preface this with the fact that I thought the food was alright. It was a bit bland. There was no seasoning on the vegetables, chicken, or pasta. Despite the fact that the cooking supplies were really cool and convenient, I wasn’t wowed by the food but was easily pleased by it. I was also hungry, which likely made it taste better than it really was. I was polite and respectful enough to know that I couldn’t waste any of the food this very nice guy made for us.

John was in the kitchen conversing with several of our friends. I noticed several people had not finished their food, and their body language showed they had no desire to keep eating it. Our trash can was a later confirmation of this.

I went into the living room, where I sat with three of our guests. In hushed voices, they expressed that the food was kind of nasty and that there was no seasoning on the food. They expressed they didn’t really want to keep eating it, but some were hungry, and some went to throw out their plates with food barely eaten.

Through all this, no one said anything to John about what they thought about the food. No one wanted to be rude and impolite, and no one wanted to hurt his feelings, since he was such a nice guy. Plus, John himself seemed to really enjoy the food and talked about all the fancy and tasty dishes he made at home with his wife. Almost everyone bought some of the cooking supplies they liked, and when it was all said and done, everyone thanked John for his time and his hospitality.

By the time John had left, most of our friends had left. But a few stayed, and the ones that did stay had some words for us about the food. Since it was a predominantly Black crowd and friend group, my friends joked about how John could think the food tasted good because of his race as a White person. I actually hadn’t heard the stereotype before, but apparently, this meme about “White people food” being bland and lacking seasoning has been an Internet meme and is nothing new. I didn’t hear every conversation John had in the kitchen, so perhaps I missed a conversation about using less seasoning for health reasons.

This made me think about all the times I have been in a situation where I or others thought the food tasted bad, and felt compelled to say something about it.

My spouse is a fantastic cook. There has actually never been a time when I haven’t liked what she cooked or thought she butchered a dish. Now there are certainly some dishes I like more than others, but there has genuinely not been a time I haven’t been satisfied or very pleased, and there is zero glamorizing or sugarcoating in that statement — you should try it yourself.

My mother, on the other hand…could be better. There were times when I was a kid when I let her know I thought the food tasted bad. I largely grew out of this when I was 13 or 14 since my taste buds apparently think everything tastes good or okay. Other people in my family, however, will let my mother know exactly what they think. They’ll let her know when they think she overcooked the meat or when she didn’t season something well.

She doesn’t always say it, but I can tell she thinks it: if you don’t like my food, cook it yourself. The men in my family are actually the better cooks and often brag that they can cook better than restaurants. However, due to a patriarchal value system in Chinese culture, the women cook more often.

I’m not the best cook. There are plenty of dishes I don’t know how to make. When I cook, I go light on the salt, pepper, and seasoning out of an abundance of caution. Despite being an Asian person, you can argue that is the White influence on me showing, but I’m learning and just follow recipes to the tee when I cook now, and am very cautious with any more or any less seasoning than what the measuring cup.

The fascinating part is that most of my friends are usually pretty outspoken and honest about their opinions, particularly about food. I have been out to eat and numerous times, this group of friends has expressed not liking the food to service staff if they did not like the food.

John, again, was a very nice guy, but no one in the crowd told him the majority opinion of the food tasting bad, having no seasoning, and being incredibly bland. The racial dynamics of the White guy and the predominantly Black crowd also made it interesting to me. Maybe no one wanted to offend John.

We noticed the same racial dynamic at our wedding. We had a wedding with 200 guests. The caterer (which, to my chagrin, was one of the biggest expenses of the wedding), did a fantastic job with cocktail hour food, making food of multiple cultures with the precise and perfect amount of seasoning. This was great to hear, as we were so busy during the wedding we barely got to try any. Fortunately, some in our bridal party bought some of the dishes for us, but we didn’t get to try everything.

I attribute this next disaster largely to a possible misunderstanding or lapse of communication: but during the actual dinner, the food was all made gluten-free. I don’t mean to stereotype gluten-free food, but a lot of guests felt like the rice, chicken, and other dishes served during dinner lacked the luster of the cocktail hour. My wife and I were so hungry that we barely noticed, but I did notice it had less flavor than the cocktail hour food.

No one said anything about the food during the wedding. After the wedding, however, we got plenty of feedback. A lot of our guests at this very multicultural wedding expressed, privately, that they went home hungry, and that they flat out did not like the dinner food. Something very interesting was that whenever we asked one of our Caucasian guests, the response was almost unanimous: they thought the food was fine. It tasted good.

Going back to John and this Pampered Chef party, perhaps we did the man a disservice by being polite and respectful in the moment, and not expressing the majority opinion. He is a consultant for a company that sells cooking equipment. It would help the company’s bottom line and his commissions if the food tasted better and was more flavorful, particularly to more minority audiences and crowds.

That isn’t to say every crowd of predominantly Black or minority audiences always want a lot of seasoning, but it’s probably safe to say most people won’t think food with absolutely no seasoning is amazing. It’s likely that food with no seasoning does not make people more likely to buy cooking equipment, no matter how great the equipment is.

I don’t know whether it’s more rude to be honest or more rude to be polite and not tell what you think when the food tastes bad. As an easily pleased person who is satisfied by any kind of food, sometimes I am confused when people have certain opinions or are very picky about what kind of food they eat.

There are people in my family who only eat certain foods and don’t like vegetables, and it used to drive me absolutely crazy. Choosing to go hungry rather than eating food you find less savory or not tasting good used to really bother me, as someone raised to never waste food and be grateful for what food you have. Throwing away perfectly edible food when people are starving all over the world used to drive me crazy. I used to be more judgmental about it and think things like “it’s really privileged to be a picky eater,” but I have largely grown out of that judgment.

I think the only thing that bothers me about picky eaters is that when I am in a group with them, we have to plan what we’re going to eat around their preferences. I am someone who likes every kind of food (besides cucumbers), but there are times I prefer Mexican over Chinese food or burgers over pizza, and I largely don’t like the inconvenience of getting food from two separate places.

Whether to express your opinion when the food tastes bad depends on the context and situation. If you’re at a house party and someone clearly spent hours preparing the food, perhaps it’s best not to say anything even when you think the food tastes bad.

I was once at a party where someone did say something about the food tasting nasty. The person who prepared food for almost 20 people was in the room and had some words. The two stepped outside and got into a very heated argument, and they did an excellent job at keeping it discrete, as no one noticed. I only heard this confrontation happened after the party, and behind closed doors, it caused the host a significant amount of stress to defuse and de-escalate tensions.

When it’s at a restaurant, well, their job is to make food that you like. Perhaps it’s better to say something to the serving staff and the restaurant, especially when you pay a lot of money.

I’m always polite and never say anything personally for a couple of reasons. For one, I never think the food tastes bad, and two, I value being polite and keeping the peace more than I do my own culinary preferences.

What if it’s your spouse? Well, I can’t speak to this because my spouse always cooks food that tastes good, but maybe other people can.

Not only does it depend on the situation, but it depends on the person.

Do you say something when the food doesn’t taste good? Why or why not?