Summary

The website provides guidance for individuals with avoidant attachment styles to improve their marital relationships without resorting to divorce by following five steps focused on self-awareness, emotional tolerance, understanding personal needs, building trust, and effective communication.

Abstract

The article addresses individuals like "Walid," who experience discomfort and a desire for emotional distance in their marriages due to avoidant attachment. It outlines a five-step approach to help such individuals break free from patterns that hinder their relationships. The steps include learning to feel safe in one's own body through body scans, gradually allowing emotional intimacy with a partner, identifying and communicating primary needs, strengthening trust, and practicing open communication about needs and boundaries. The article emphasizes the importance of self-reflection, emotional awareness, and the courage to vulnerably engage with a partner to foster a healthier, more connected partnership.

Opinions

The author suggests that those with avoidant attachment styles often struggle with feeling trapped and overwhelmed in relationships, leading to a desire to push their partner away.
Journaling is highlighted as a powerful tool for self-growth, encouraging individuals to compassionately reflect on their emotions and experiences.
The article conveys that it is normal and acceptable to feel uncomfortable when learning to tolerate emotional closeness and that this discomfort is a part of the process of overcoming avoidant behaviors.
It is implied that individuals with avoidant attachment have repressed needs for connection and support, despite their outward appearance of independence.
Trust issues are acknowledged as a significant challenge for those with avoidant attachment, and the article recommends questioning one's negative narratives to rebuild trust in relationships.
The author encourages the reader to actively work on their relationship issues, emphasizing personal responsibility and the potential for healing and emotional freedom within the partnership.

Do You Push Your Spouse Away? Do This.

Do these 5 STEPS to heal your Avoidant Attachment WITHOUT getting divorced.

Introduction:

Do you find yourself being trapped smothered and feeling avoidant just like Walid, then I think you will recognize yourself in these signs below,

Meet the avoidant Walid, he has been married for three months now, but now he suddenly feels very stuffy,

He craves a connection however he also finds it overwhelming and is unsure of how to deal with it.

He is not comfortable with his emotions, he enjoys being by himself and following his routine,

He prefers to take care of himself, he dislikes having to rely on people and would prefer others not to depend on them, he believes that the only person you can trust is yourself.

According to him, these are signs that he should end this marriage, if he is already experiencing these kinds of doubts, he struggles with receiving feedback conflicts are difficult for him to handle.

He tends to always point out others' weaknesses or flaws, this is like a protection to keep the partner at a distance.

In this Story, I will show you with these five tips, how to break yourself slowly free from these patterns inshallah.

1. Being Aware Of Your Body

learning to feel safe in your own body is something you don’t do or haven’t learned, you have been rejected so many times that you frequently leave your body,

Therefore do the following perform a body scan three times a day, once in the morning, once in the afternoon, and once in the evening before going to bed.

You will have to pay attention to the signs your body is sending you and keep track of the signs of hunger thirst, pain, frustration, or cravings, for example,

If you are frustrated use the phrase I feel angry because this has happened, the best thing is that you name it out loud and write it down.

Journaling.

Journaling can be one of the most powerful self-growth tools, it’s important to be compassionate, and non-judgmental,

This will greatly help you to reflect on your inner world and your experiences, questions you can ask yourself did something happen today that made you excited or motivated?

What have I longed for today, even if it’s something small what did I feel did I experience pain or discomfort in my body today,

And where exactly have I avoided suppressed or tucked away emotions today, have I rationalized or rejected someone’s emotions or feelings today, how did he or she react to it.

2. Learn To Tolerate

This is a tough one but not impossible learn to let your partner in step by step, so you will learn to increase your tolerance for the tension,

That you will feel you must understand that doing this will, make you feel uncomfortable this is a fact so accept it.

You have to break that wall gradually, so you will no longer hide your emotions, but you will feel them and learn to tolerate them.

3. Investigate Your Primary Needs

Your first need is that you require time and personal space, especially when a conflict is starting to escalate,

This is probably the best thing to do, you don’t like to be forced your second need is a transition time, and that transitional phase must be calm, Make it clear that you require that time of transition.

For example, when you come home from a busy day you feel the urge to withdraw first before being with your partner again,

It could be 15 minutes but you might also need a little more time, you need warmth and friendliness,

This is the third need other individuals must approach you with kindness and react to you warmly, your fourth need is a desire to be encouraged in your dreams and interests.

You have mastered Independence and learned how to handle everything on your own, however, the repressed need which is that you need connection and support from someone is,

In fact, true to inform your partner that your passion or desire is very important to you and that you need their support and flexibility there is another need fifth one,

And that is a desire for acknowledgement respect and appreciation. Share your need by saying I need you to hear me, learn to express those needs to your spouse,

It’s difficult at first but the more you will do this the more liberating it will be for you and the other.

4. Dare To Trust

If you have this attachment Style you probably find it very difficult to trust others, this one has to be strengthened you accomplish this,

By confronting the narrative regarding the feelings of I am being claimed, I am being lived, I no longer have my own time, and I can no longer establish a career.

The three questions you are going to ask yourself now are, what happened just before my doubt strikes, let’s say you believe that he or she is not the right partner anymore,

What happened before two then you ask yourself is this story 100% true and three then okay what evidence do I have for this?

5. Communication

Communicate your knees and boundaries, openly honestly and without criticism, for instance when you get home do you want some space for yourself,

Then make this clear to the person that your attachment style is avoidant, and what happens to you as the connection gets deeper.

For example in response, you can say I noticed that I do something, and I know you don’t find it amusing,

I’m working on it and I hope you will give me the space, I need to be better at this at my own pace, if you see it the next time I do this could you let me know.

My Last Words:

You must realize that underneath all of these issues, lies the need to maintain a safe emotional distance and the fear of losing your emotional Independence.

But there is still hope you can experience emotional Freedom closeness and healing all at once inshallah,

But you must put in the effort you need to do the work because nobody is going to do it for you.

I, therefore want to encourage you to choose only one of the five to practice this week and would love to hear under the comments section below which one you’ll begin with.

Thanks For Reading My Story. 🙏