Summary

The article discusses the importance and benefits of solitude, drawing upon Anthony Storr's insights on the need for personal time to foster creative imagination, self-discovery, and emotional health.

Abstract

The author reveals a personal yearning for "me-time," a chance to disconnect from external stimuli and reflect or simply be. This yearning is not mere escapism but a deeper need for introspection and connection with one's inner world, essential for personal growth and sense-making. Storr's work suggests that solitude allows the human imagination to thrive by bridging the internal and external realities and that this is crucial not just for creativity but for our mental well-being. The article posits that solitude enables self-awareness and engagement with one's thought processes, which are equally important as social relationships, challenging the modern tendency to equate personal wellbeing solely with social success and interaction.

Opinions

Solitude is presented not as a sign of antisocial behavior but as a vital aspect of being human, necessary for balancing our inner and external worlds.
According to Storr, fantasizing is not reserved for childhood but is a lifelong tool, helping us to envisage possibilities and to align our internal thoughts with outward actions.
The article emphasizes daydreaming as an essential activity that facilitates the creation of new ideas and the digestion of experiences, aiding personal development.
Individual hobbies and interests, whether solitary or communal, reflect unique personalities and are best nurtured during times of solitude.
Solitude is described as serving important functions in learning and emotional processing, which are enhanced by being alone.
While acknowledging the importance of social relationships, the author argues that an individual's wellbeing should not be exclusively measured by their social success, highlighting the value of inner peace and self-contentment.
The article concludes that both social interactions and the pleasure of one's thoughts are necessary for a fulfilled life.

Do You Often Crave “Me-Time”?

The need for solitude, according to Anthony Storr

During the day there is often a pervading feeling of something missing in myself, something that would give it meaning. A purpose. Maybe a new outlook on life. Given the frequency of its occurrence, I found it more a deep-rooted dissatisfaction than just the usual niggles of the day.

At the end of every day, I desire to have some time for myself, away from family, friends, phone. A time just staring out the window. Or sitting under a big tree.

Several questions plague my thoughts, as to why exactly there is this craving for “me time”. Am I an escapist? Am I an introvert? Most of the time I don’t seem to crave human relationships. At other times, I chastise myself for not making enough of them.

A craving for imagination

Anthony Storr in Solitude: A Return to the Self (1988) places some of these questions in context and attempts to answer them.

Man possesses an inner world of the imagination which is different from, though connected to, the world of external reality. It is the discrepancy between the two worlds which motivates creative imagination.

So there is a good reason for the inner world of fantasy to exist in each of us and it tries to find expression in different ways. Fantasy is not something that just happens in childhood and then gives way to rationality in adulthood. It is an active tool to visualize possibilities at every stage of life.

Our faculty of imagination is trying to make sense of our own selves, the external world, our reactions to people and events; with it a craving to paint the external reality with one’s own imagination.

Thinking itself is predominantly a solitary activity and regarded as a preliminary to action. It is, as the author puts it,

..A scanning of possibilities, a linking of concepts, a reviewing of possible strategies. Eventually, thinking results in some sort of physical action, even if this is no more energetic than pressing the keys of a typewriter

Daydreaming allows us to conceptualize newer worlds out of imagination, enabling us to explore new avenues of growth. Although it is a form of escapism, it is a necessary vehicle that enables the uniquely human ability to “constantly bridge the gap between this inner and outer”.

Hobbies and interests are aspects of a human being which most clearly define his individuality, and make him the person he is […] even if the interest areas are playing of team games, they often reflect what he individual does when he is alone

Solitude also serves to perform “integration functions” such as learning (spaced repetition seems to work better after a period of solitude) and re-ordering (digestion of a new fact or emotion takes time, and again works better after some time spent alone).

Where do Social Relationships figure?

He argues that ultimately

health and happiness is ultimately based on the ability to live in peace with oneself….Human beings are directed by Nature toward impersonal as well as toward the personal

and this is part of our adaptation. More than the biological necessity of reproduction to ensure the survival of genes, the long span of human life assumes greater importance, hence the need for the impersonal.

There is a good case to argue for human relationships: From the infant’s need for the presence of a mother to explore his world around to the adult’s need for a family, friends, neighbors, and colleagues, we all want to be loved, to be recognized, and to be acknowledged by others. But the author’s point is that in this age, there seems to be a tendency to judge a person’s wellbeing exclusively by the success of his relationship with others. And this can be a bit of overburden on oneself.

Ultimately, it is a reminder that joy and pleasure are to be found, both in social relationships with others as well as in the “rich company of one’s own thoughts”.