Do You Know You Can Conquer Your Fear By Taking Decisive Action Now?

Don’t allow fearful emotions or thoughts to stop you from living a powerful life.

At times I feel like a scared, insecure child. Yet I’m a full-grown adult in the Third Third of my life.

Feeling these fearful self-defeating emotions is challenging. Why and from where do these mental states appear?

I’ve been playing pickleball for two years and enjoy it immensely. Occasionally I feel nervous when a new league begins, or I am up against a formidable opponent. These feelings are understandable, and I am not alone in this.

As I prepared to leave for a league game recently, I was suddenly overcome by fear and apprehension that I would not play well.

I had five games to play with a new partner for each game. I worried I would make a fool of myself and disappoint the partner assigned to me.

Purposeful action

I immediately realized I needed a good talking to; no one was around. I was the only one available.

It didn’t matter why this fear descended on me. It only mattered that it be gone now, this minute before I left home.

I needed to empower myself. My speech went something like this:

I am strong, capable, and a decent player. I am as good as some and better than others. I will not allow this fear to take over. I am summoning my courage now.

I will not listen to my negative thoughts. After all, I’m the one who concocted these self-sabotaging feelings.

Fear, in most instances, is uncomfortableness. Take action. I need to take my power back. Get in that arena knowing you are more than competent.

Thinking will not overcome fear but action will. — W. Clement Stone, American New Thought author.

Fear or uncomfortableness is normal — feel it, take the necessary action, and move through it. We grow and build self-esteem by moving through difficulties.

How could I have forgotten the primary reason we are on this earth is to feel joy? We are here to grow, develop our humanity, help others, and live a life of gratitude and joy.

Remembering that put the pickleball game into perspective. I began playing for fun, exercising, making new friends, and learning a new skill and sport.

My pep talk helped me take action, as action is the antidote to fear.

I played well that day. Better than usual. I took purposeful action.

Overcoming my past fears

The pickleball game is minor compared to other challenges I’ve faced, so it’s odd that something as simple as a game set me back into trepidation so easily.

When I divorced, I was responsible for raising and supporting myself and two children. My ex couldn’t be counted on to pay his share. I was the one who had to be sure all the bills were paid, and my children were taken excellent care of in all areas.

Sure, I was terrified initially but did fine, and it was a learning and growing experience for us.

I also started two successful businesses, marketing myself and doing what had to be done to succeed.

I put one foot in front of the other, taking the next right action. Again, taking action diminishes fear and, at times, demolishes it.

I’m sure many of you have done the same or more and worked through your fearfulness and doubt.

How have you overcome your fear?

Have you experienced fear that appeared out of nowhere? Perhaps, nervousness or anxiety welled up inside without reason?

Did you talk yourself through it?

I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear. — Rosa Parks.

It doesn’t matter our age, experience, or circumstances — fear and anxiety can suddenly appear without warning attempting to undermine our self-confidence and derail us.

Just as our minds can convince us that an upcoming event is intimidating — we can make an about-face by reminding ourselves how powerful we are.

Were you able to move forward and emerge on the other side more robust and confident than before?

You knew you had the fortitude and courage to stride confidently through the difficulty, didn’t you? Good for you.

My favorite quotation about fear is written on a Post-it and is on my desk, where I see it daily. It is by one of my favorite artists, Georgia O’Keeffe:

I’ve been absolutely terrified every moment of my life — and I’ve never let it keep me from doing a single thing I wanted to do.

Know that we are strong, capable, and courageous. We’ve got this — no matter what “this” is.