Do You Know Who You Are?

And what would happen if you did

This is going to sound strange, but I always knew who I was. My problem was trying to be me in a world that didn’t want me to be me.

From the get-go, at age three, my mother admonished me from expressing my feelings.

“Don’t cry, Barbara. It’s no big deal,”

or even worse,

“What the hell were you thinking?”

In school, I was taught what to believe and never question. I obediently followed my lack of self-worth and chose husbands who treated me likewise.

I chose professions that required my utmost obedience, yet all the while, the authentic me struggled to survive. And even though I ‘fit in,’ I did not want to fit in.

Because who had I become?

It wasn’t so much that I was lost, but rather conflicted. The authentic me shouted from deep within me, hey I‘m still here! While the fake me responded with, you don’t matter!

So it wasn’t a matter of feeling lost or “finding myself,” but rather getting rid of the superficial me who had overpowered the real me.

Still with me?

Ever seen a dog getting out of a pool or lake, and shake all the water off? That’s what I did when I decided to shake off the fake me.

To hell with this, I finally said to myself, after years of misery. I’m going to be the real me for me. And if no one likes it, they don’t know me, anyway.

I cannot begin to express the freedom I felt when I cast that fake me aside. My fake life evaporated right along with her, and clarity and joy emerged.

I learned that everything is within, for that’s who we truly are. Your light force can shine as bright as you allow it and can overpower anything outside of yourself.

And if you think the real you exists in external validation, please know the authentic you is waiting patiently inside.

You are not lost, nor do you need to find yourself, but merely allow your light to shine.