Do You Have a 2023 Goal in Mind? Try the Third-Door Way to Get There

Sometimes taking the road least traveled or the back door entry is the better plan

As a kid growing up on the northwest side of Chicago, we hung out in alleys a lot. Alleys were always adjacent to the principal streets so that you could get anywhere in the neighborhood more discreetly.

It’s easier to smoke and hatch mischievous schemes undetected. We had easy access to the streets through secret gangways, and the backyards we knew were dog-free and safe from grouchy old bags. Though sometimes I’d opt for the cranky old bag route to piss them off simply for fun and giggles.

We played in the city alley too. Many of us had basketball hoops attached to the garage. We played catch back there, hide-n-seek. And if we were really bored, we’d sometimes run through tipping over trash cans, screaming for entertainment.

We lived near some factories off Cortland street. We used to sneak in their dock entries. One of the factories was Schwinn, yes, the manufacturer of bicycles. I would stay as long as it took to get thrown out by some disgruntled worker, yelling in some unintelligible tongue. Watching the machines and assembly lines always fascinated me.

There was an Italian restaurant we used to hang out in the back and sometimes dared each other to sneak into their kitchen and try to steal some pizza or bread. Eventually, some of the cooks caught on and regularly gave us complimentary bread — an incentive to keep us out.

Yes, through those early childhood experiences, I learned backways, alleys, and roads less traveled can get me to places quicker; it’s adventurous, fun, educational, and sometimes a means to get something you desire. Even today, in my mid-sixties, if I’m on a paved or gravel trail and I see a path snaking off into the woods, I can’t resist the allure.

Most people are so focused on the main streets and trails they forget the other backways exist. You never know what might await if you take the chance. I apply this thinking to goals — sometimes, the hidden path is often the best way to get there. There’s almost always another way in.

Adopting a third-door mentality gives you a better shot at realizing your goals. It doesn’t mean you have to do anything illegal or untoward. It’s a metaphor for reframing your approach.

Author and meditation coach Jay Shetty talks about finding that third door himself. Shetty got his first big opportunity in New York when he didn’t even apply for the position.

He tried all the traditional “main street” routes to promote his videos and find a home for his content. He found little-to-no success. He then created an email distribution list and included his contact list.

Every time Shetty produced a new video, he sent around the link and asked his recipients to share it with anyone they thought might be interested. One day, a former colleague forwarded the email to this woman. She reached out to Jay. Soon, he found himself heading to the Huffington Post.

Sure, we have to be prepared for trial and error. I didn’t get into every factory, restaurant, or theater I attempted to sneak into. The key is never to stop looking for that other entry point. People lack tenacity — they tend to give up too quickly.

You can get a job by lining up at the front with everyone else. But most people move on when that doesn’t work out. We get too attached to our vision of how things are supposed to work that we lose our chances of success.

If you’re willing to be creative, you can generally find another approach. If an MIT education is your goal, but you weren’t accepted into a program, there’s another path. Much of my accomplishments came by way of self-study. Most people don’t believe that I’m a high school dropout.

Do you know that MIT’s 1800-page course curriculum is available online at no charge? Is there a person you want to work with but don’t have their email address? I had good success in our marketing department by guessing it and shooting off a half dozen email messages using the company naming convention. I figured there was a good chance one of them would land.

Much of the time, we can get to where we want in life. It’s just not in the way you imagine. Sometimes the third door is our best way in.

The next time you try to achieve a goal and feel stymied, don’t give up and walk away. Get creative and try to find another path less traveled. Look for that third door, and enjoy what you find inside.

Inspired by: Calm/The Daily Jay Podcast

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