Difficult Conversations Disquiet Everyone!

But we can master it with these three simple tips and one keyword.

This week has been a roller coaster emotionally when I had three difficult conversations in separate capacities (work, friends & in a group).

On reflecting, I think I am not overreacting in any of those circumstances, but even when we are on the side of logic (let’s not use the word right or wrong), this doesn’t make it less uncomfortable.

Are you like me, who is born to dislike confrontation? Let me tell you what I’ve learned this week and from many difficult conversations, I have had in the past.

There is only one goal

The goal to have difficult conversations is usually for both people to move past it. It’s very important that you have this aim in mind because the other side might not share the same thought. But if you always focus on moving things along to a better place or an agreeable solution, you have power over how to steer the conversation forward.

This includes those tricky people who are pointing fingers. They can be annoying but then, here’s my second point.

Only focus on the event

It’s easy to get personal in an argument and this drives the conversation to an irrational and emotional state. What you really want to do is to move away from that so both of you can achieve the aim of moving on.

The other half of the conversation might try to use blame, manipulation or even victimising themselves. All the chats that are not about the event are personal, and you should take the responsibility to keep the conversation focused (even if you aren’t the person who initiates the conversation).

You can even shout out, I’m not getting personal here, just want to focus on the event.

Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries

A difficult conversation, such as one that gives criticism or whatnot, can be made easier if both of you focus on moving on from this tough event and not get too personal about it.

If the other side is unaware of these unspoken rules, then it’s always our job to uphold our boundaries. Choose your words wisely and if necessary, pull out of the conversation.

We can’t really avoid difficult conversations, but hey, following these principles will help to make it more awkward than it already is.

Best of luck.

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On the Midori by the Seafront there are a few changes and I am very busy building all the blocks before I can share with you the good news.

But here’s the latest article I wrote that makes me realise no matter what I do, I must get my weakest link right — read and see if you have the same issue!