Do You Feel Like Saying F*CK YOU, Medium?

You’ve come to the right place, my dear.

Are your stats down? More fans than reads? Only clappers and runners? Are you tired of not getting the boost? Did nobody read your latest hilarious listicle? Did you get the boost but earn only $7.49 from it? Did your last article get only three comments, and all from scammers?

This space is for you.

Here, you’re safe.

You can SHOUT.

• You can leave mean, angry, and unedited comments. I won’t take them personally.
• You can insult me in the comments. I won’t read them. And I won’t report you (it’s a promise).
• You can tell us what happened. We will listen.
• You can insult Coach Tony in private notes (but better not to because that might be against Medium rules, and you don’t want to lose your coffee money, do you?)

This article is the safe haven where you come when you’re sad and need some good old grandma-style relaxation.

You did a good job. Better luck next time. You’re a fantastic writer. You’re worth more than views. Don’t worry. It happens to everybody. Love yourself. Enjoy yourself. And the rest will follow.

Here’s a (virtual) hot cocoa for you.

Be well.

Grandma Smillew loves her afternoon cup of cocoa, scrabble, and her grandson, Smillew Rahcuef. She’s also a pink belt in social media and marketing strategies. If you want to make her happy, follow her on Medium and write for one of her publications: All About Medium and Grandma Power.