Do You Feel “Behind” In Life? Here’s How to Rapidly Get on Track
It works even in the worst of times.
Not too long ago, I felt “behind” in my life. When I looked at other people my age (or younger), they were crushing it: They had great jobs, great partners, cool possessions, and more.
As for me, I was living in my Mom’s house at that time, working a job I hated, making a crappy paycheck, and fed up with everything.
A few years later, however, my life transformed—I figured out how to create a great life, which included a great business, tons of freedom, a great condo, and work I enjoyed.
In this article, I’ll share the seven most powerful lessons and strategies that helped me improve my life, even when things seemed bleak. Each one compounded on each other and paid off handsomely, and I’m confident they can help you too no matter your situation.
1. Fix Your Priorities
I used to know many people who were behind in their lives. Yet they lacked ambition, drive, and goals, and when you looked at how they spent their free time, they wasted it on mindless entertainment and things that had no impact on their lives.
I’d see them scrounge up hundreds of dollars to go on a road trip and see a concert—yet they were living at their parents’ house and working a dead-end job they hated. In the grand scheme of things, the concert wasn’t important, and it simply revealed their poor priorities.
“People think focus means saying yes to the thing you’ve got to focus on. But that’s not what it means at all. It means saying no to the hundred other good ideas that there are. You have to pick carefully.”
— Steve Jobs
When I felt behind in life, there were many lesser things I wanted to do and enjoy, but I forced myself to wait. I knew it was far more important to focus on the main pillars of life (like health, career, love, finances, etc.), improve those first, and then have fun (and enjoy more peace of mind and less guilt).
It might be hard to say no in the short term, but you’ll focus your energy on better priorities and start making progress in the long term.
2. Know That Being “Behind” Helps You Succeed
Being behind in life can actually set you up for greater success in the future. After all, many people who reach amazing heights started their journey making mistakes and struggling.
Yet that very process of experiencing and overcoming early setbacks forces you to grow—you have to learn new things, become more resilient, and keep striving to beat challenges. Like a butterfly breaking out of its cocoon, the struggle is what builds your strength so you can fly.
Ironically, succeeding on your first try could actually be a disadvantage—you won’t have the strength or experience to persevere when times get tough.
“Early success is a terrible teacher. You’re essentially being rewarded for a lack of preparation, so when you find yourself in a situation where you must prepare, you can’t do it. You don’t know how.”
— Col. Chris Hadfield
You might feel behind because you see other people buy a home, get married, or start a family before you. But if you’re actively trying new things, taking risks, and pushing yourself, it’s not like you’re idle—you’re adding skills, knowledge, and abilities for your future.
And while you might be a “late-bloomer,” once you get going, your trajectory will be higher because your early challenges taught you lessons that “early-bloomers” might never learn.
When I thought I was “behind,” it may have appeared that way at first glance, but looking closer, I still did a lot. And because I was constantly taking shots, that period I felt “behind” is actually what helped me succeed the most.
3. Get Real-World Knowledge
Spending the beginning of your career to gain experience, wisdom, and knowledge is a worthy investment that will pay amazing dividends and drastically transform your trajectory.
“Learn in your 20s, earn in your 30s.”
— Keith Ferrazzi
Many people, however, just want to earn money as fast as they can so they grab the first job they can find. And while it might look like they’re ahead of you because they have a higher salary or position, they missed the knowledge you gained and won’t have the same growth potential.
That’s why, if you feel “behind,” double down on real-world education. Find people who achieved massive success, study their work, or find ways to work with them. In fact, three months in a good internship with an expert can be worth as much as three years of experience at an entry-level job.
If you can’t get an internship, read their books, watch their videos, or even email them and ask for advice. They’ll teach you insights you can’t find in a regular job and shortcut your growth.
4. Stop Watching Others
The reason why we think we’re “behind” in the first place is often that we spend so much time watching others consciously or unconsciously. Maybe you see people on social media, Medium, etc., and feel envious of their lives.
But many people grossly exaggerate their success, especially online. The truth is you have no idea what their lives are really like. (Some of them probably want you to feel jealous of them.)
“We exaggerate misfortune and happiness alike. We are never as bad off or as happy as we say we are.”
— Honore de Balzac
Don’t fall into the trap of spending more time telling others how great you are than actually being great. After all, successful people aren’t wasting time telling everyone what they’re doing; they’re actually doing it.
Stop watching others and wondering why your life can’t be more like them. If necessary, take a break from social media so you can focus on your priorities. In the meantime, make fewer “announcements” and trying to stop “keeping up with the Jones’s.”
5. Surround Yourself With The Right People
Few things will impact your life more than the people you surround yourself with. If you want to grow, you have to change your environment first. And if your social circle is full of unambitious people with poor habits, they will drag you down no matter how hard you try in ways you might not even realize.
“If you live with a lame man, you will learn to limp.”
—Plutarch
I used to hang out with several people who were a few years older than me, but even though I was struggling, I would think to myself, “When I reach their age, I don’t want to be like them.” But I knew if I kept hanging out with them, my fate would be sealed—so I gradually found new friends.
Be selective of your social circle. Find a tribe of people who want more out of themselves and who push you forward. Distance yourself from people who are negative influences or stagnating. In a weird way, you almost want friends who make you feel behind—because that’s how you grow.
“Don’t join an easy crowd; you won’t grow. Go where the expectations and the demands to perform are high.”
— Jim Rohn
6. Take Action
Many people are terrified of looking stupid, embarrassing themselves, or making mistakes. And because they can’t handle rejection or failure, they avoid taking action and limit their own potential.
If you want to fast-track your success, you must get over your fears of “what people might think.” You have to learn to accept whatever results might come your way, good or bad. The worst-case scenario? You get a “no.” The best-case scenario? You find an opportunity that changes your life.
“You don’t have to be great to start, but you do have to start to be great.”
— Zig Ziglar
When I felt “behind” in life, I had nothing to lose. No one knew who I was; if they rejected me, it didn’t matter. So I used that to my advantage.
I didn’t care how stupid I looked or how pathetic I seemed. I emailed everyone, asked for phone calls, and took pages of notes. Eventually, I got more advice and learned more than I could’ve from a job or a degree — all because I had no shame in my game.
7. Take Ownership Of Your Life
It’s no coincidence that, when I felt behind in life, I made a lot of excuses: I blamed my company, my boss, my race, and a whole lot more for my predicament. But it didn't matter if those things were actually contributing to my issues; what mattered was that I believed they were—and that was what held me back.
By making excuses, I empowered outside factors, wasted mental energy, and created resentment and bitterness. Because with all the things outside of my control, there was still so much inside of my control. After all, no one was stopping me from working harder, taking risks, or learning.
To accelerate your life, you must take full ownership of your life and situation. Once you do, everything changes. You can focus your energy to move toward your goals. You stop letting life push you around and stop wasting energy on things you can’t change.
You must control your life otherwise life will control you.
Because it’s never too late to start writing a new story.
And that, my friends, is how you hit the launch button in life—even if you feel behind.
Ready to upgrade your success? I’ve created 5 free life hacks that will boost your results. If you use them, your life could change very quickly.