Do You Believe In Fate, Destiny, And Karma?

Circumstances that seem to happen with divine intervention

I remember a time as a child when I was scheduled to go on a weekend camping trip to lake Isabella.

My first overnight trip with a group of classmates. I was looking forward to this adventure and counting down the days, packing my sleeping bag and camping gear, and I got no sleep the night before — like it was Christmas Eve.

On the morning of the event, one of the parents coordinating this trip had car trouble and told us we would have a late start.

Then it started raining with lots of lightning, and the trip was canceled in the afternoon.

I was very sad when my Mom said, “well it was fate; this trip was not meant to happen.” She added, “first the car trouble and then the storm; it’s best that you didn’t go.”

I was angry but also confused about the fate comment from my Mom.

Someone thought I shouldn’t go on this trip and made things happen, so I couldn’t.

My Mom believed in fate and karma and that things happen for a reason.

To her, the fate intervention that canceled my trip might have saved me from drowning in the lake, or some other terrible thing that might have happened, if I had gone on the trip.

That was just how she looked at things.

But as a child, I was just angry that I couldn’t go. And I was confused by the fate explanation.

That might have been the first memory of fate intervening in my life, but certainly not the last.

For the first thirty-five years of my life, I thought Mom was superstitious, and fate, destiny, and karma were a bunch of poppycock and nonsense.

But I never told Mom that.

But I do believe in fate, destiny, and karma today.

What changed my mind?

Our Son.

Yes. Many of us believe in fate because it offers us comfort and security. When something terrible happens, fate tells us this is all part of a greater plan.

While some believe that your destiny is also pre-determined, unlike fate, your destiny, I believe, is a path you must forge for yourself. Destiny is a mere potential, a possibility that exists, and an available path. This path is laid out in front of you with many challenges.

But the belief in fate is very powerful. I believe our son was provided to us by fate.

Our son is adopted.

He was three days old when we cradled him in our arms; we even provided his name so the hospital could put our choice on his birth certificate.

But to explain the fate connection, I must back up a little.

“I wonder how many people don’t get the one they want but end up with the one they’re supposed to be with.”

― Fannie Flagg

Early in our marriage, my wife and I planned for two children, preferably one boy and one girl.

We planned to have one of our own and to adopt one as our own.

My wife is adopted, so we would have one of our own but then adopt a second child; that was the plan.

We were overjoyed when Sandys became pregnant, but that pregnancy ended during the first trimester as a miscarriage.

She became pregnant a second time, which also ended in a miscarriage.

By now, poor Sandys was despondent and wanted a child so much that she said we would try a third time. She didn’t hesitate with the decision despite the physical and mental toll during the first two miscarriages.

She became pregnant a third time, only this time. Portsmouth Naval Hospital put her into the high-risk pregnancy program. The head of Complicated OB, a Navy Captain who didn’t usually see patients, took Sandys on as her personal patient.

She had the very best care possible.

I was at sea during this period, so Sandys went through this alone. However, we did have neighbors who looked after her and helped out.

She was diagnosed with an incompetent cervix.

Her doctor decided to perform Cervical Cerclage surgery, where the doctor sewed her cervix closed. This would be left in place until delivery by cesarian section.

She was also put on various medications and total bed rest and had to stop working.

Sandys started losing this baby in the third trimester as the baby was ripping through the stitches — an emergency visit to the hospital. The baby was alive for a few moments, enough that Sandys could hear him make sounds.

It was a boy.

When I got the word she was in the hospital, and what happened, we were in port, and the Hospital had called the ship. I requested emergency leave and planned to fly out of Italy to Norfolk, Va.

But the Executive Officer denied my emergency leave request, saying they grant emergency leave for the deaths of family members but not a miscarriage of our son.

Something I found out later wasn’t completely accurate. I even thought about going AWOL and flying home anyway. But at this point, I had invested a lot of years and didn’t want to jeopardize my career and retirement.

Sandys spiraled into a deep depression following the loss of the third baby.

When I returned home, we discussed it, and the toll on Sandys physically and mentally was too much. I got a vasectomy, ending our efforts to have a child.

We went on every adoption list we could find. Then, to make it easier, we said we would take any child of any age, even one with a disability.

After a year and nothing, we resigned ourselves to being a childless couple.

Then Fate stepped in.

My wife had a litter of Blue Persian Cats and put an advertisement in the Newspaper.

A Virginia Beach Attorney called and was interested in a kitten for his girlfriend. When he came to pick up the kitten, Sandys was chit-chatting with him, and he asked if she had any children.

She said no.

He knew nothing about our past and said. I have a client who is pregnant, unmarried and wants to place her baby for adoption.

Fate

It turns out the father was in the Navy but now stationed in San Diego, no longer with the mother, who was alone and had one other child to care for.

Long story short, we did a private adoption. And we brought Mike Junior home at three days old.

We paid the Mom’s back rent, living expenses, and all medical bills. In addition, the attorney recommended that the biological father sign the adoption papers, so we flew him from San Diego to Norfolk, Va, and paid all his expenses.

We never met either — we were in separate rooms, and the legal documents were shuffled back and forth.

Was it fate? I believe it was.

Out of all the advertisements in the papers for cats, why did the attorney pick my wife's advertisement?

Why did the biological mother pick us out of the dozens of folders on prospective parents?

We also had to clear all the hurdles with Virginia State adoption people, which was approved.

Including background checks and a home study and unannounced home visits before and after adoption. It’s quite the process.

There were a dozen different ways this could have ended.

But Fate intervened.

You betcha; I believe in Fate.