Do Women Get Pleasure From Blowjobs and Anal Sex?

Yes, but it depends on the woman.

I would never tell a woman how she should feel about sex. I wouldn’t tell her that she has to engage in any particular sexual activity. The same goes for shaming her for not liking a certain aspect of sex. She doesn’t have to like anything.

But at the same time, I don’t want to be shamed for what I do like. Namely, I love giving blowjobs and having anal sex.

I don’t believe that when a woman gives a man a blowjob, she’s just getting him off with her mouth. I also don’t agree with the notion that when a woman allows a man to penetrate her butt, she’s letting him use her anus solely for his pleasure.

To believe these things, I’d have to accept that sex is nothing more than a transactional activity with no deeper meaning and no emotional engagement whatsoever.

I’d have to feel that sex is simply one person giving and the other person taking.

I don’t believe that.

Sex is a shared experience. I get turned-on from getting my partner off. That, and I can derive pleasure from the activities he likes, too.

Blowjobs are also for her.

The thing that I love most about giving blowjobs is the pure sensuality of the act. There’s something amazing about the feeling of a penis sliding in and out between my lips.

There’s also something exciting about the taste of a cock in my mouth. The flavor of a man’s skin and that of his pre-cum are special delicacies my tongue salivates for.

Then there’s the sensation of his phallus exploring the insides of my cheeks. I love the feel of my mouth being full of him.

Ironically, when I’ve spoken to my boyfriend, he has a very similar opinion about giving me oral sex. He talks a lot about the feel of my vagina against his tongue. He often says, “There’s so much to explore there.”

He’s talking about the folds of my skin, the texture of my labia, the sensation of my soft inner parts against his lips. This isn’t to mention the taste of my juices, which he adores.

Sure, when he gives me oral sex, it makes me orgasm — but the pleasure isn’t only mine. My boyfriend also gets something out of the experience. I feel the same way about giving him head.

Apart from the physical sensations and joys of blowing him, taking his penis in my mouth also makes me feel closer to him.

Having sex is the act of our souls kissing.

That’s the most important part of our shared sexual experience — connection. Sex, for me, isn’t just about one partner using the other. It’s about experiencing our bodies together, in the moment.

If sex were just about me getting mine, then I’d prefer just to masturbate. Why bother engaging with another person’s body if it isn’t to commune with them on a deeper level?

Having sex is the act of our souls kissing. I don’t want to break down a sexual experience into an arrangement where one person takes pleasure at the expense of the other. I think there’s a sickness in seeing sex from that perspective.

Men who are just out to use women are predators. But women who think that all men are scary monsters have some inner work to do themselves.

Not all men are out to hurt and use women. My boyfriend is a good example of that.

And yet, if a gal isn’t into giving blowjobs, then that’s okay. That said, it’s also important for her to find a partner she’s compatible with.

She shouldn’t be with a guy who likes receiving blowjobs. She also shouldn’t expect her partner to reciprocate in the oral-sex department.

I mean, we are talking equality, aren’t we?

Blowjobs increase intimacy between partners.

One of my favorite activities is sixty-nining. I see it as the ultimate shared activity. I love feeling my boyfriend licking my vagina while he pumps his dick in and out of my mouth.

I like it so much that I try to replicate this sensation when I masturbate. When I use a vibe on my clit, I’ll oftentimes suck on a very lifelike dildo.

If giving a blowjob didn’t give me pleasure, why would I enjoy sucking on a rubber cock when I masturbate?

My mind hasn’t been programmed by some man to feel this way. For me, it’s an expression of my womanhood. But not only that — of my humanity.

Sucking cock is part of my specific experience of being human.

Feeling a man’s cock twitch against my tongue, his thrusts increase in intensity inside my mouth, his ball sack tighten as he readies himself to come down my throat — there’s nothing better.

And it’s incredibly intimate.

It’s a vulnerable experience for both of us. In our shared vulnerability, we find a deeper level of intimacy. That’s what giving a blowjob for me is all about.

Anal sex gives me better orgasms.

I feel the same way about anal sex. I would never tell a woman who’s afraid of having an object inside her anus to just push past her fears. Women shouldn’t have to pretend their feelings don’t exist. If anal sex doesn’t feel good for her, then by all means, she shouldn’t have it.

But like I said before, I don’t want to be shamed because I do enjoy anal sex.

There was a time, though, when I was afraid of being anally penetrated. It wasn’t until I started smoking cannabis that I discovered the pleasures of anal sex.

My boyfriend and I would smoke together and then while we were making out, he’d sneak a finger into my ass.

It drove me crazy. I would literally push my ass in his direction so he’d insert his fingers inside my bottom.

One finger wasn’t enough. I wanted more — two, three. It felt amazing.

My anal membranes are incredibly sensitive. My anus literally contracts when I orgasm, giving me what I call an ass-gasm.

And just like I adore sucking on a dildo while I’m masturbating, I also like to feel an object in my butt while I vibe myself.

When I penetrate my own ass with a dildo, it makes me come even harder.

In that respect, I’m not quite sure how women can say that anal sex only benefits men. Sure, I imagine it feels great for a guy to put his penis inside a woman’s butt — but for some of us gals, anal penetration feels great for us, too.

I choose to view sex through a positive lens.

For me, being sex-positive means I view sex through a positive lens. I see sex as a joyful act that benefits both men and women.

And yet I used to see sex more negatively. Thanks to my family and the world around me, I had a very unhealthy view of sex. Growing up, my family never discussed sexuality. Sex in my household was shameful. Only sluts liked sex.

This led to so much unhappiness. I wanted pleasure and yet I felt like a terrible person for pursuing it.

At a certain point, I just said the hell with it. I decided I was going to make my own rules regarding how I would experience my sexuality.

I never looked back.

Not everyone agrees with the openness with which I practice sex. At least I’ve explored my sexuality firsthand. I know exactly what feels good to me because I’ve actually experienced the activities.

Maybe I’m a weirdo because I like giving blowjobs and having anal sex — but I don’t think so. I think there are plenty of other women like me who have realized they enjoy both.

And that doesn’t make them weak women — or women who exist just to please men.

It just makes them women who enjoy sex.

To say that only men benefit from blowjobs and anal sex — now that’s just pure ignorance.