Do We Have To Keep Reading The Same Self-Help Stories
5 reasons why they may not be scamming us with the same old platitudes.
It seems like we see the same articles day after day., doesn’t it? Some writers must sign up for the course: How To Retire On 1500 Words a Day. Just regurgitate the same old self-help platitudes and watch the money roll in.
I wouldn’t blame you for casting a cynical eye at these articles. A response to one of them prompted me to write this piece. Because, after a while, they can all sound the same. How many ways can you tell people to take care of themselves? Exercise and eat a good diet; save your money; get a head start on your day while everyone else sleeps late.
Basic self-help isn’t brain surgery.
Do we need to keep reading tips on making our lives work — for the rest of our lives? Why aren’t they one and done?
I was on board during the 70s and 80s for the burgeoning human potential movement. Self-actualization was my middle name as I read the books, attended the retreats, and kissed the rings of the popular gurus.
Now, decades later, do I really need to read another article on becoming my best self?
Recently an article with a self-help title came across my feed, and I asked myself that question. There was only one way to find out. The author had made a name for himself telling people how to find peace and harmony, and a little prosperity while they were at it.
What’s wrong with another dose of positivity, I thought. I had five minutes to spare, so I clicked on the title.
I quickly scrolled down, and saw it was basically good stuff. But as someone who’s been around the block a time or two, it wasn’t anything I hadn’t heard before. I was tempted to move onto my favorite cat videos, but I decided to check out the comments.
That’s where I found enlightenment. Not because I found a new path to a pot of gold or the life span of Methuselah. But I discovered why we need a refresher course from time to time on self-help advice. Why these latest gurus are evergreen, at least their advice is on how to live our best lives, whatever that means in the current decade.
There are actually five solid reasons why these messages stay relevant. Maybe one of them fits your current situation.
1. We forget.
How many times have you read a book that you claimed changed your life because the author altered your perspective on the way you saw the world? If you’re anything like me, you made resolutions to craft a new version of yourself, using that book as a guidepost. You bought a journal, or a pair of running shoes, or you threw out all your food and filled your refrigerator with items guaranteed to fuel the new you with health and vigor, to fight off disease and malaise.
Months later, the food had spoiled, the running shoes disappeared into the mess in the back of your closet, or maybe you sold them on RealReal.com. You’re now reading a book on how to get over imposter syndrome because everything you try seems to fail.
When we attempt to revamp parts of ourselves that don’t work or deliver lifelong change, are we failing? Or are we reading the wrong self-help articles?
Folks who commented on the piece echoed my experience. They made the point that even though we’re committed to living a better life, we forget. Or, we lose our way.
It’s hard to change deeply ingrained attitudes, beliefs, and habits. We need constant reminders about positive thinking and new ways of reacting to life.
Our brains and psyches need constant reinforcement.
One encouraging article to exercise every day is good. But if we have a committed relationship with our couch and Netflix account, we have to constantly immerse ourselves in positive propaganda to counter the forces that champion the status quo.
2. Ruts happen.
Have you run into this wall? You’re following a new, healthful diet, or you’re rocking your exercise program like it’s a religion. You focus on your morning routine like your life depends on it, and you’re seeing results. And then, after months of deprivation, your partner comes home with a pizza. Okay, just one slice, you say. You’ve been eating the same old same old for so long, it’s time for a break. And the next night you give in to a rich pasta, or cheesecake or in the morning you feel the need to sleep in instead of suiting up for your run.
Maybe it’s your morning routine that gets, well, routine. Or you give up on those open talks with your spouse that keeps your relationship vital, because one day you’ve got a lot on your mind. Tonight, it will just take too much effort to really listen to your beloved. So you phone it in. Just this once. And you do it again, and that becomes the routine.
Before you know it, you’re deep in the weeds, wondering months or years later what happened to your plans for your perfect life.
That’s why a re-read of inspiring articles can give you the spurt of motivation you need to remember how good you felt after your daily workout. How much you liked yourself after meditating, or how much love and commitment you felt for your spouse when you really showed up for each other.
3. We change.
The first time we read a book that motivates us to realize our potential and make changes to get more out of life, we’re like a newborn in a way, in terms of enthusiasm and motivation. A few years later, we’ve learned some lessons, but we’re not the same person. Our lives are different. We’ve gone through major transitions.
Kids come along; we take on new responsibilities at work. Maybe we have health crises or lose loved ones, or go through a spiritual awakening.
The old routines don’t fit our new realities.
But that doesn’t mean we don’t need continued guidance and wisdom. Thinkers and writers who’ve walked the path of our new reality can write truths we need to hear that can help us with our goals of staying true to our core beliefs. They can offer a perspective that fits our new experience.
4. New humans come along who need to hear the message for the first time.
We’re not born with the advice that worked for previous generations.
The guru that rocked our world is meaningless to the babies born today. When they come of age, they will need their own leaders and teachers. They might be the voices we follow, and they might not. But likely the message won’t be too different from what moves us live a good life today.
If we see new thought leaders writing on our platforms, sure, they may not write for us. But don’t discount them as having a message for those coming up behind us. One of the responses I read put shade on an important article, saying, “I’ve heard this before.”
Maybe you have, but a teen or a twenty-something may just be opening up to adulthood and it can be just the insight needed to chart a new course.
5. Different writers offer their own slant on the same subject.
We all have favorite songs and consider the original the boss. Until someone else comes along with a cover that rocks it in a new way.
Same song reaching different audiences.
The same phenomena occurs with self-help articles. The message may be the same, but the voice, delivery, and even the jargon can appeal to a different audience.
So maybe you’ve heard about getting your morning off to a good start. To one group of strivers, that can mean a session with their journal and yoga mat. To another, the wisdom of setting goals and intentions for the day can include proper nutrition, supplements, and affirmations. It’s all about positive thinking and taking control of your life, but different prescriptions for the same end.
I like Simon and Garfunkle’s Bridge Over Troubled Waters, while Aretha Franklin’s version carries you away. It’s is the music that counts. Or the message, in the case of the gurus.
What matters is that we pay attention to our lives.
We keep trying to move forward, learn lessons when we can, and listen to the people who speak our truths in the language that makes sense to us, in any way that motivates us to be more and do more than we think we can.
Whether it’s another rep at the gym, another hour hitting the books for your degree, or giving your munchkin one more story at bedtime to earn dad of the year in your house, even though you have sand in your eyes from the grueling day at work.
Because at that moment, that’s being your best self.
I’m an editor and writer on Medium with Top Writer status. I’m also an editor for the publication, Rogues Gallery. I’ve published 55 titles on Amazon and edit for private clients. If you’d like to hire me as your editor for fiction, non-fiction, or business writing, please contact me here. If you’d like to read more of my work on Medium, click here to sign up for my newsletter. I’ll make sure you don’t miss a word. Thank you for reading.