BEING MINDFUL

Do This If You Find Yourself Constantly Feeling Unhappy

And a few other things you can do to break that feeling of unhappiness

We live in a world that for those who were alive just a few hundred years ago, would say that it’s a world from a sci-fi movie.

People from the 1700s or 1800s would probably never imagined the technological advancements that we enjoy on a daily basis now.

Heck, even as a kid who grew up in the mid 80s to late 90s, I wouldn’t have imagined the technology that I have at my fingertips right now.

The days where my internet connection would get cut off just because a relative would call my house landline or how it would take a few hours just to download a file that was no bigger than a few megabytes feel like a really distant memory now.

In a world where everything has been simplified, easily accessible, and easily available, you would think that we are currently living the dream life.

Yet, more and more people are actually unhappy with life right now.

If you do a quick search, you would see that the rates for suicides in 2023 are so much higher compared previous years.

And a lot of it can be traced back to the technological advancements that we have right now — especially social media.

With social media, the entire world’s population has been on a journey of never ending comparison.

Regardless of age, gender, ethnicity, etc., everyone is comparing themselves with someone else.

I’m not pretty enough, I’m not good enough, my job sucks, my house is terrible, my life sucks, etc., are some of the very common remarks you get nowadays.

Social media has made almost everyone have really unrealistic expectations of what the perfect life should be like.

It has made unrealistic expectations of what beauty looks like.

It has made unrealistic expectations of what success looks like.

You see people with millions of followers sporting a certain kind of lifestyle and immediately you think to yourself, “that’s what I have got to aspire to, otherwise my life would be considered a failure.”

And you compare your current life situation to those you follow on social media over and over again.

You then start to hate your current situation because it’s so different from that of your favourite social media personalities or influencers.

It’s unhealthy.

And it has to stop.

If you find yourself constantly feeling unhappy, there is a good chance that you’ve probably overdosed on social media consumption — and you need to fix it.

Throw your phone away

OK, that’s probably a bit dramatic but essentially, you will need to take a break from your phone because that’s most likely the source of all your social media consumption.

Your phone is likely the place where you have all your social media apps installed like Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, etc., and chances are, you spend hours and hours on them.

You may be one of those people who picks up their phone the moment they wake up and is the last thing they look at just before they sleep.

You’re addicted.

It could also probably be your biggest dopamine contributor — which explains why you’re constantly searching for more doses of social media content.

While it may be hard to fully cut yourself off from using your phone (you may need it for work purposes or family reasons), you can still cut down your usage of it.

Delete the apps

A few years ago, I realised I was totally addicted to social media. I would spend hours on my social media apps consuming useless content on a daily basis.

It was bad for me. I was constantly feeling depressed, demotivated, and just in a bad place.

Each time I opened a social media app, I would get a quick shot of dopamine but the moment I finish scrolling, I’d feel like shit because I’d compare my life to what I’d just seen on my phone.

That was when I decided I needed a break.

I started by deleting all my social media apps.

Like trying to stop any addiction, it was hard.

I found myself installing the apps again after just a few hours.

But I knew I couldn’t keep feeling like shit so I kept deleting them. For a good few months, I was constantly deleting and installing the apps.

It started to get better and eventually, I was able to control myself and I started a habit of going on a 7-day social media detox once every 2 months.

Then it was once every month.

It came to a point where I didn’t even need to delete the apps anymore. I was able to control myself.

Fast forward to present day and my social media usage has dropped tremendously.

I don’t consume more than 30 mins of social media a day.

There are even times when I’d go days without opening a single social media app.

And I can honestly say that my emotional state has improved a lot!

Practicing gratitude

The biggest negativity of social media for me is the fact that we tend to compare ourselves with what we see on the apps.

I would feel very shitty about myself whenever I saw someone I followed doing things that I’d wanna do, living the life that I’d wanna live.

I’d start to say negative things about my life, about my job, etc., and it just went downhill from there.

But in order to counter that, you have to do the total opposite.

Rather than being negative, rather than comparing yourself to those who see you social media, I chose to be more positive with my thoughts.

I started to practice gratitude because for every single thing that I may not be happy about or grateful for, it could be a dream for someone else.

That’s why I’d recommend it for anyone — to practice being grateful.

Because the job you hate may be the dream job for the unemployed.

The house you’re not happy living in could be the dream house for the homeless.

The meal you just wasted because it didn’t taste exactly like how you thought it would could be the best meal for those who are starving.

There is always something to be grateful for.

Accept that we all have our own timeline

When I look at my life now, I realised that I’m living the dream life I once had a few years back — at a time where I wanted it immediately because people I was following on social media were living it.

It may be a few years later, but I’m living it now.

Perhaps back then, it just wasn’t my time to have it yet, but right now, it is.

We all have our own timeline so don’t compare yours to others.

Some people find love early on in life while some find it much later.

Some people might find career success in their early 20s while others may get it when they are in their 40s or even 50s.

The thing is, everyone is different and every has their own timeline for things to happen in their lives.

Don’t compare yours to others.

Just live your life and enjoy it as much as you can. Do what you need to in order to achieve your goals but trust that eventually, when the time is right, it will happen for you — according to your own timeline.

Comparison is the biggest thief of happiness. It takes away any sort of joy you may have and it can lead you down a path of loneliness, sadness, and bitterness.

It’s usually the number one reason why most people are unhappy with their lives.

So stop comparing yourself with others if you find yourself constantly feeling unhappy.

Ease off from social media in a bit.

Be thankful for all that you already have in life, no matter how little or how much you may have.

And accept that everything will fall into place when the time is right.

Happiness comes from within, you just need to find it.

I pray you do.