Do This and You’ll be Welcome Anywhere

Who is the person in your life that seems to gain a new friend wherever they go?

You can be confident that wherever they go, whether it’s the dentists office or the hospital, they’re guaranteed to make a new friend.

Who is that person in your life?

You may not have met them yet but when you get within 10 feet of them you’ll know.

They’ll likely jump out of their own skin to show you how much they like you.

Reflect on your most cherished relationships — family, friends, past and present. Why do you cherish them?

Do they make you happy? Feel loved? Feel worthy?

It is almost certainly because of at least one of those three things.

We all know how to make friends.

Some of us are better at it than others.

And we all know that you can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.

Suppose we are all born understanding such a principle, why are some people more successful than others?

It’s because they know that:

• People aren’t interested in you just as they aren’t interested in me.
• People only care about themselves — morning, noon and after dinner.

Sometime ago when the New York Telephone Company still existed they undertook a study.

This study attempted to identify the most used words in the telephone conversations of New York City’s residents.

Can you guess what it was?

‘I’.

It was used 3,900 times in 500 conversations.

How many times per day do you talk about yourself? I suspect you’ll be more conscious about it after reading this.

Alfred Adler, the famed Austrian psychologist beautifully captures our inability to divert attention away from ourselves.

“It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring.”

Applying his knowledge to writing on Medium — if you don’t like people then you can’t expect people to like your stories.

To be a successful writer, you must first find immense pleasure in other people. This applies to every aspect of our lives.

If you want to make friends and truly be welcome anywhere you go then you must do things for other people — offer yourself to help with activities that take time, energy, unselfishness and thoughtfulness.

And most importantly, greet people with enthusiasm. Smile when you say “hello” and “goodbye”. Use open body language — become less defensive.

Be sincere about it.

A show of interest in another person must be mutually beneficial — a win-win.

If you want others to like you, if you want to develop real friendships, if you want to help others at the same time as you help yourself, become genuinely interested in the pursuits of every person you meet.