Do These 3 Things to Establish The Right Mindset For Networking

Genius lessons from the gold standard of networking books

Most people find networking painful. They think of it as an awkward thing that adults are for some reason forced to do in order to get jobs and be promoted.

But let me tell you, the only reason people think like that about networking is that they haven’t cultivated the right mindset for it. Like any new activity or project you commit to, networking is a skill to be learned. Going into that process understanding how networking really works will help you see its worth and become an expert.

Never Eat Alone is the de facto book for learning about how to network effectively. It teaches you not only about the nitty-gritty details and skills but also the general approach and mental framework you should be adopting in order to network successfully.

From the book, I’ve broken down the top 3 things that you can do to have the right mindset for successful networking.

Mission and Passion

“Passion rebuilds the world for the youth. It makes all things alive and significant.”

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

A common piece of networking advice is that if you want something, to get connected to someone for example, then you need to offer something of value. Yet in most cases, we don’t have much extra value to offer, we’re the ones looking for the connection or job offer!

But there is something else you can offer people: your mission and passion.

And I don’t mean directly. Don’t go around saying “hey, check out my YouTube channel and smash that like button! I’m really passionate about it.”

Your mission, and your passion for your mission, should shine through in everything that you do. When you are truly, deep down, passionate about something, then you’ll be just dying to talk about it! You won’t have to force on conversations, asking awkward questions about the weather or if the free sandwiches are any good. Instead, you’re excited to talk about your passion.

It’s not a selfish thing to do either. In fact, it’s quite selfless. You love something so much that you’re excited to share it with everyone you can so that they can share in the joy. People are drawn to that kind of energy and excitement. Everyone loves the person who makes them smile, or teaches them something, or just brings some spice into their day. When you’re passionate, all of that value will come through effortlessly.

Build It Before You Need It

“The time to build a network is always before you need one.”

— Douglas Conant

Part of the awkwardness in networking is the suddenness of it all.

You’re looking for a job so you go to a networking event. What are you supposed to do, walk up to people and say “hey I’m looking for a better job, are you hiring?!”

People don’t like coldness. They want to feel the emotion behind things. They don’t like feeling like you’re using them for something. If you walk into a networking event expecting to get a job, then that fakeness will show through. People will be put off by it since you’re asking them to do a favor for a random stranger without much in return.

Instead, it’s best to build your network before you need it. By doing so, you’re able to establish professional relationships earlier. So, when you do happen to need a job or a connection or a favor, it’s already there. There’s some foundation, it’s not totally random. As a result, people will be much more open to helping you out since you’re not just coming at them coldly.

Having this mindset will also make your network grow faster. You’re not waiting for when you need a job, perhaps every couple of years. Instead, you’re always networking, always looking to connect with people and establish relationships.

This isn’t as hard as it sounds. You don’t have to go talking with every single person your meet on the street. Just start small. Go out with your coworkers at lunch, make it a point to go to one networking event in your field a month, and connect with 10 new people on LinkedIn. All of this will add up over time so that the relationships are in place and ready before you need them.

The Genius of Audacity

“Seize this very minute; what you can do, or dream you can, begin it; Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.”

— Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Fortune favors the bold. Audacity is genius.

If you want the best jobs or the big promotions, you can’t be a wallflower. No matter how valuable you are or what skills you have, if people aren’t able to see that then you’ll never be able to move forward. You want to make people see what you have to offer. And if you’re going to be putting in all of that effort, you might as well strike for the gold.

Instead of emailing the junior members of the team, email the senior ones: team leads, directors, VPs. You’re going to have to put in the same amount of effort, it might as well be aimed right at the very top. Those senior managers are people too and you can get connected with them just like anyone else. If you’re at a networking event, look for those who are where you want to be. You’ll learn far more from them than you will from people at your level.

It takes the exact same amount of effort to talk to the intern as it does to the CEO. You might as well go for the bigger prize. What have you got to lose? The absolute worst thing they can say is no, in which case you just move on to the next person, of which there are thousands.

People love that kind of audacity too. Most of the other people at your level are too scared to talk to the senior folk. By being bold enough to talk to them confidently, you’re showing that you’re different, that you’re special. That’ll increase your chances of winning their favor.

Recommended Reading

Never Eat Alone: And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time is the comprehensive book about all things networking.

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