Divorce is the Ultimate Gut Punch and it Hurts Until It Doesn’t

I don’t know sh*t about divorce, but I know it has all the feels

Full disclosure: I’m not a divorce pro, nor can I yet wear the been there, done that t-shirt. I do know though that divorce delivers all the feels and much more.

The Divorce Gut Punch: When I do turns to I don’t.

I’m not qualified to write about divorce yet. In a way, I’m still hoping I’ll never be qualified.

Actually, I’m still trying to figure out how to get comfortable calling my husband my ex. And in all honesty, I still love him. Even if love isn’t enough.

I’m still coming to terms with the realization of how so many years of love, friendship, and teamwork could end — fizzle, blow up, explode, all while seeming like things might still have a chance. Thank God there’s therapy for that.

And that there’s writing. Writing is soul medicine.

What I do know already about separation and divorce is that it all feels like a mega gut punch. And not just one.

They keep coming even after you’ve said I’m done with this marriage.

I’ve also been warned to be prepared for the punches that promise to keep coming for a while, like the first time I hear through the grapevine that my ex is seen eating dinner with a woman at our favorite restaurant, and when I learn that my ex has moved in with someone else.

I’ve learned that just when you think you’re getting the hang of separation and getting one step further along in the divorce process toward closure, you can get slammed in the gut out of nowhere.

Like this morning. When I woke up and felt sick to my stomach. Just because.

Nothing had changed from the night before, at least not that I could pinpoint.

I went to bed feeling okay. More than okay. Maybe even really good and more accepting than ever about the situation — and optimistic about the future.

And then wham! I woke up feeling like I wanted to vomit and crawl back under the sheets.

Ahhh… welcome to moments in divorce.

These moments feel so numbing and surreal. Sometimes it all feels overwhelming and sad.

And then sometimes there is yet another surprising twist.

Just like the gut punch out of nowhere comes a different kind of jolt: Something good happens.

Like receiving an invitation to lunch with a new friend.

Getting a job offer that shifts your entire financial outlook.

Hearing a compliment that rocks your world in the best way and paints a smile on your face.

Realizing you’ve handled a problem or situation that you never would have managed if you were still together with your ex.

Seeing glimmers of hope — and feeling unexpected moments of joy.

And knowing in these moments that the best is indeed coming.

I’d love you to follow me and my journey… and I’d appreciate your claps and comments if my words resonate with you.

j.j. wolfe 🖤