Distraction: The Narcissist’s Tool

Exploring from Interpersonal Relationships to Wide-Scale Distraction

If you’ve just checked your Twitter feed, Instagram DM’s, email, text, and your new TikTok blast in the last 15 minutes, while driving and eating your lunch, you may agree that our current reality encapsulates a life of ongoing distraction.

While we navigate the fast-paced world around us, amidst living in a distracted culture, we may also have a fair share of mental distraction within a dysfunctional narcissistic relationship albeit interpersonally or globally.

In this article we are going to define distraction, the devious side of it within the realm of narcissistic relationships, ways to detect and see the tactics, the reasoning behind it, and conclude with how we can prevent from falling into the scheme of distraction and see the wool before it is attempted to be pulled over our eyes.

Let’s begin.

ARE WE DISTRACTED?

Simply put, distraction is something that turns your attention away from something you want to concentrate on. It’s also known as a diversion, interference, or interruption.

While one study estimated 27% of people are digitally distracted, you may also be facing a high level of distraction if you have encountered a narcissist. Do you think there is a correlation? If so, why do you think that is?

NARCISSISTS USE TACTICS TO DISTRACT

While social media may be the blatant or obvious method where we can see our distractions at bay, it can be much more subtle when a narcissist distracts. Let’s explore further the indirect methods that are commonly used.

GASLIGHTING

Gaslighting is a cover-up. The narcissist draws your attention from the real issue(s) and deflects your attention to something else, or restates what they believe you should think, feel or have knowledge of. Gaslighting is meant to hide or conceal something — a distraction. Could it be we are or have been gaslight without our knowledge?

CIRCULAR CONVERSATIONS

Have you ever been involved in a conversation where questions are either not responded to, or the answer has nothing to do with the question (side rail), or the topic just goes round and round with no resolution?

A narcissist will create circular conversations, which have no end in sight as a method to distract you. What are they hiding? Is there something they do not want you to know? Why is the conversation getting derailed over and over again?

BLAME SHIFTING

Chronically, a narcissist will shift blame from them to you. They fail to take responsibility for actions, words spoken, promises made, etc. as they try to reposition the blame without you noticing. Have you seen this tactic play out?

NARCISSISTIC RAGE

When an individual responds with narcissistic rage, not only are they trying to control the response and reaction from others, but they are causing a major distraction from the issue (whatever it is) by having an episode of rage.

When a narcissist is in full rage, they have terrified their victim(s), many move into deep fear, and whatever was discussed prior has been squandered and the focus has shifted to survive the rage incident.

The mission of distraction has been accomplished. The narcissist has deliberately engaged in a planned rage moment to distract from whatever they do not want to face and to further condition their victim into responding in a certain manner. They are using immense fear as a tactic of distraction.

DECEPTION

Deception is the ultimate hidden distraction. The layers of deception can run deep and it’s often difficult to get to the bottom of things and gain clear insight, which is the whole purpose of distraction. Do you think there is more deception today than in years past? What do you think is driving this?

ENTERTAINMENT TO CREATE DISTRACTION

According to an article, the average user in 2020, spends 2 hours and 24 minutes per day on social media and it’s increasing every year. Entertainment historically speaking has been used to create a diversionary tactic, to draw people away from something. To learn more, study the ideology behind bread and circus.

One thing I found interesting in my research was how cinema was used to distract Germans from the war, check out the article here.

DIVERTING ATTENTION

When a diversionary tactic is created, our attention and focus align with something new. Shifting focus and modifying attention is a key element to distract away from something someone does not want to see. Have you ever noticed someone try to divert your attention away and focus on something else?

Note: This article is to not speak ill of social media or the media in and of itself, and while it has its benefits, there may be more to the story than surface level. My point is to examine the messages with a wide arm — meaning not only from within a narcissistic structure but to be open to the possibility of large-scale messages of manipulation, and deception, which may be a deliberate distraction, globally.

HOW CAN WE PREVENT DISTRACTION?

In today’s world, it may be difficult to eliminate distractions, but we can start with awareness. We can spend our time however we want, and we can digest information 24/7, but we have to set our own limits on how much we will tolerate.

When we self-monitor and control our consumption, it may have positive benefits we may not have anticipated.

IN CONCLUSION

As we live in our fast-paced society filled with endless distractions, sometimes one of the best things we can do is to evaluate our consumption not only on social media platforms but to evaluate distractions from all other sources and ask ourselves some interrogative questions to see if we are missing a bigger picture which requires further evaluation.

Once we see the tactics a narcissist uses to distract within interpersonal relationships, we may also be able to see the same tactics on a much larger scale.

When we step aside from our current schedule and assess our consumption, we may be able to see some of the tactics that are enticing to draw us away from what we deem should have higher priority.

Do you think we are living in a distracted society?

Thank you for reading!

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Originally published at https://www.movingforwardafterabuse.com on October 29, 2021.