Missed opportunities suck.
Dismiss Regret And Unlock The Satisfaction You Deserve
Four identifiable causes of regret and how to transform your life’s outcomes.
We all have some regrets.
Most people have a few regrets when they reflect on their accomplishments. It is normal and healthy to fantasize about going backward in time to undo certain choices.
Regrets often stem from our actions or lack of actions. There are at least four basic categories of behavior that live inside of every regret.
There are many ways to assess and move past regrets according to Marcel Zeelenberg (1999) who wrote: The use of crying over spilled milk: A note on the rationality and functionality of regret, Philosophical Psychology.
Four factors leading to regret:
- Fear- When you are afraid of an outcome it seems natural to avoid taking action. The excuse will probably be safety or security-related. Letting fear guide your choices can prevent some problems but be cautious. Yielding to fear as a habit will stop you from making decisions that could positively affect you too.
- Negligence- You know what the best action is and for some reason, you just don’t do it. This one is a baffling behavior of many people. Self-sabotage is a sad thing to witness and worse to experience first hand.
- Ignorance- When you don’t know about an opportunity you are ignorant of the facts. Ignorance is an innocent position to be in. You did not know, so you missed the boat.
- Doubt- When you had the chance to do something great and you understood the potential but you did not believe it was true. A little skepticism is important. If you cling to doubt too strongly you could sidestep many chances to succeed. You might miss your opportunity to experience something epic.
Change your patterns to invite satisfaction and joy into your life
Don’t be a self-hater
Beating yourself up is a waste of time. If you already have some regrets about the past — why waste any more time dwelling on the same sad thing? Then it gets to disappoint you twice.
Moving forward
You must look forward to something. Whatever it is, aim and move towards goals daily. Hourly. Minute by minute if you must. Stay focused. It can be as simple as making a dreaded call you have been avoiding. Or finishing the laundry. Perhaps you need to redo your profile on a business page online.
There are many goals you can add to your day that are not overwhelming and will give you some accomplishments to distract from a pattern of depressed thinking.
Plan it, and do it, even if you don’t want to
A study done on the mechanisms of self sabotage asserts an interesting point. One thing that is highly destructive for the self-image is the act of breaking agreements too often.
If you make a plan to do a task — do it. If you agree to write an article, write it. What you plan to do — follow through on. Even if you find an excuse to procrastinate, finish instead.
Motto For Daily Goals:
Do it now. Then be done.
These simple thought changes and small steps will lead you toward a more satisfying life instead of one filled with regrets.
Applying it in real life A real example of regrets and identifying their root cause happened in a conversation I had with CJ Kowalski in the commentary of a recent post.
We both expressed some regret about our experiences with Bitcoin. We agreed that we could have made enormous profits if we had done it differently.
Even though we regretted the same thing, we had very different reasons leading to regret.
CJ blamed fear for not having more to show from the Bitcoin dips and spikes. He didn’t want to risk losing a lot, and he was motivated by security and safety. Nothing wrong with that, unless the worry becomes a significant source of disappointment.
I identified my reason for my lack of accumulated wealth as negligence. I was not fearful- I was reckless. I knew better, and still, I failed to hang on to the coins I had, and I spent frivolously instead.
Just identifying the root of my pattern was empowering to me, and it removes much of the heavy burden that often comes with regret.
This is only one example of how common regrets that plague people can be useful as a constructive point of change or growth. If we identify the underlying causes of our regrets, we can change how things turn out- at least partially.
- This is not financial advice — seek professional advice for all investment decisions. Bitcoin is super risky. It is only shared as an example of regret I was able to identify easily since it was expressed in a public commentary.
The takeaway
You can get more out of life by identifying the things you regret- and by letting go of all the disappointments you have accumulated. Take charge of your regrets and then dismiss them once and for all. This will lead you to the satisfying life you deserve.