Disease du Jour: From A To Z:

Running away from it all: a tour de force of self-absorption

My non-racer friends are astounded that I spend upwards of 25 dollars for the privilege of pinning a paper tag on my top.

I explain that the purpose of these races is to raise money for some “worthy cause.” Sometimes for school activities or athletic clubs, I’ll tell them, though most races are sponsored by organizations seeking to develop treatment for various serious disorders.

Such as?

At this point, I pause to ladle out a serving of alphabet soup. I peer into the mélange, and by way of playing — and cheating at — solo scrabble, I pick out a surfeit of D’s for diseases and dystrophies, S’s for syndromes and scleroses, with their sundry sidekicks as follows:

AD, HD, PD, DMD, AS, TS, AIDS, POTS, MS, ALS.

Toss in a couple of odd balls: NF and CF.

Next, a pair of unpronounceable “flip-lets”: SMA and MSA.

I have run on behalf of all the above and then some. I am ashamed to admit that when I schedule races, all I bother to record is when and where; I rarely take even mental note of who and why until they are thrust in my face at the registration table.

Permit me to mitigate my appalling confession. Justifying myself …

During the race itself I don’t know or care about pacing and placing; all I think of is how lucky I am to be healthy enough to run — even to walk — unlike the people on whose behalf I am here.

(In truth, apart from a couple of token nods to the gods for sparing me the featured acronym, I am utterly focused on my performance.)

Inserting blurb to salve my social conscience …

Before the race, I dutifully read the informational leaflets in the swag bag.

(After the race, I dutifully toss them, along with the useless coupons, directly into the recycle bin.)