Use This NLP Trick to Shift Fast
A Meta-Model to bring about personal change
When most of us present our problems, we state them as if it is universal to our experience.
We place limitations on ourselves.
We believe our thoughts are real, when in fact it is not so. Our thoughts are just a map.
We might say “I am not getting anywhere in life”, yet we have a string of accomplishments just for that day.
We say all kinds of things each day to ourselves or to others that just cannot be true, yet we have built this internal model of ourselves and end up living our lives according to this model.
Today I will share more about the Meta Model used in Neuro-linguistic Programming and how it can help you become unstuck and make better choices in life.
What is the Meta Model?
It is a very helpful tool that is used in linguistics. It was described in the book The Structure of Magic a book about language and therapy.
The Meta Model clarifies the meaning of what a person says.
It connects what someone is saying to the experience on which their communication is based.
The three primary filters are deletion, distortion, and generalization and they apply to the way we communicate all our experiences in words.
This refers to both the words we speak to ourselves and to others.
We tend to use a lot of shortcuts when we speak, to get our point across more efficiently. We leave words out and it is up to whoever is listening to fill in the gaps based on the context.
Deletion, distortion, and generalization can make our lives easier, yet also lead to problems.
For example, if someone says “Life is difficult” what do they actually refer to? Do they refer to their entire experience of existence? Do they refer to their financial status? Do they refer to their choices or their family life?
Using the Meta Model
The Meta Model consists of questions we can use to understand the deeper structure of what a person is saying.
It brings to the fore the unconscious beliefs and assumptions that drive the person’s model of the world.
The outcome is helping someone make more positive choices.
Please note: Try this with a friend or someone you are close with and who trusts you, because it can be off-putting if you challenge someone’s every statement with the questions.
You need to learn to listen carefully so that you can pick up on patterns in the speech.
Simplifying
Using the Meta Model questions is a complex process with many different levels, which I won’t go into right now.
If you want to experience the coaching benefits and uncover some of your limiting beliefs then you can dive deeper or reach out to me.
In short:
When someone is speaking to you, think about how to uncover what they believe that makes what they say, true for them.
You are asking questions to uncover what will provide the most leverage on their statement.
You want to discover the one question that will bring significant change to their model of the world.
Quite powerful if you think of it.
Example
Someone is saying “I am unhappy”.
- About what specifically? In what way are you unhappy? How do you know? [You might be happy in a different way]
- Where did this information come from?
- Who said it?
- What was the context in which they said it?
- When did they say it?
… and on you go until you find that one question that reveals the information that is holding them back.
Conclusion
Using the Meta Model is a tool NLP [Neuro Linguistic Programming] Coaches use to help someone change their view of the world in order to affect positive change.
It consists of asking a series of questions to get behind the deeper structure of what a person is saying.
It forces a person to reevaluate their model of the world.
You help them find evidence of what they believe to be true.
Anyone can use this method if they know how to, yet it is important to have a good rapport with the person when using this method as it may cause a lot of discomfort.
Thanks for reading!
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About the author:
Helen Müller is Senior Editor of Illumination Integrated Publications, Medium.com.
She enjoys inspiring others toward living consciously through writing about Consciousness, Entrepreneurship, Happiness, Biohacking, Artificial Intelligence and she recently wrote her first food blog.
Her passion lies in doing DNA Upgrades and coaching entrepreneurs and leaders.
She founded You, Me, and Happiness after launching her first book You, Me and Happiness — A Methodology for Fulfilment.
“My philosophy in life is that you have this opportunity now, each moment to ENJOY, without judgment. When you simplify things and you stay focused, what you can achieve, the impact you can have and what you can feel is truly exhilarating. I love my life and I love helping others discover their full potential. In this universe, there’s more than enough for all of us.”
