HUMOR

Directions to the Local Store for a Visitor to a Dry County

Just the essentials

— We’re low on toilet paper. Can you pick up some?

Sure, I can go. Good chance to see your home town. Where’s the best place?

— Ok, you’ll need to drive. At the end of the street take a left on Harrison. Keep your eyes open, as it’s only a short ways before you see a small CVS on your left.

On Harrison. Great, I’ll-

— Yes. Then you need to take the left just after that CVS, onto 8th. You go ‘bout a mile down that, and after you pass the Walmart, it’s the second right –

Wait, after I pass the Walmart?

— That’s right, the second right. That’ll take you through the parking lot for new shopping mall — trust me, it’s the quickest way, that’s how I go myself. On the other side, you come out onto State 42, headed westbound — if you see the Rite-Aid, then you’ve gone too far. Follow along 42 for a half mile, and you take the ramp on your left, you need to get the Southbound ramp.

You’re saying I have to get on to the interstate?

— Yep. Keep driving on that for maybe 15 miles. Soon as you see that sign for Grant County, take the first exit. There’s a couple of gas stations there — any of them should have some.

OK, I’ll get –

— And since you’re there, could you maybe pick up a case of Miller Lite.

I suppose I –

— Maybe a bottle of whiskey too? Here’s the money — you keep the change for gas.

Uh, ok. So, a case of Miller Lite, a bottle of whiskey –

— Jack…

Right, a case of Miller Lite, a bottle of Jack Daniels, and what, a dozen toilet rolls?

— No, a two pack will do just fine. They always charge too much for it at a gas station.