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Did You Know You Could Make 18K a Month on NewsVoice?

The money you could make on NewsVoice is too good to be true!

I started writing on NewsVoice not too long ago. All kinds of writers write there, many having made the transition from Medium. A few are doing very well, but I ain’t one of them.

Only about 1/10th of the people where I live have internet, and what internet there is ain’t good. Who wants to read local news from a town that ain’t their own? How’s it supposed to make money when the only folks who would care, don’t have 10kb/s of internet between them?

I’ll tell you from experience that it doesn’t make a dime.

I tried getting creative by going to farms outside my municipality, and beating horses to death with a tire iron. Then I’d come back and write about horse murder. That got the views up a bit, but it’s a lot of work for so little payoff.

Have you ever tried beating a horse to death? It sure ain’t easy. Beating pretty much anything to death ain’t easy. Dogs maybe. Or birds. Nothing bigger than you, though.

And by bigger, I mean more than just total area of skin. My dad was a lot taller than me, for example. Taller by several feet, but rail-thin. Our home had ceilings like the inside of a megachurch to accommodate.

I was still able to kill him, though. Cleanup was easy, too. All that height but no girth. It’s like he had the same amount of blood in his body as a man of normal height, but spread thinner.

He didn’t make a sound as I fed him, feet first, into the wood chipper. Just looked at me, smiling the whole time like a rabid jackal. Mostly dust came out the other end. Started wondering if this man even was my father.

Never knew my mother, so I couldn’t ask her about it. Saw a picture once back when I was a boy. Back when things between me and my dad were still good. Put me on his shoulders and lifted me high up. Saw it right there on a shelf near the ceiling, covered in dust. I saw my mother in the photo very clearly.

Ugliest woman I’d ever seen.

So I wrote about questioning my paternity on NewsVoice. No one cared any more about that, than about all those horses I killed. I did get some views, but also a bunch of angry comments. Didn’t like that much.

Several of those comments really upset me. Had to hire some nerd out from my town's community college to track IPs. The IP tracking was easy, but getting the nerd was hard. I hate going that far underground. Things move down there that would turn your bowels to soup to lay your eyes upon.

But I got the nerd, got the IPs, dragged the nerd back underground — kicking and screaming like a baby — tracked down those rude commenters to their homes. Gave each of them a stern talking to about being so rude online. Most apologized. Made love to some of them, fell in love, and brought them back home with me.

We’ll be wed in June.

So I tried writing about that on NewsVoice and — guess what? — nothing. So maybe personal stuff like that, my personal development, doesn’t do too good on that site.

You know what does do good? Weather. It makes sense. Everyone deals with weather everyday whether they want to or not. This common thread is probably why you could make up to 18k a month writing a 2–3 minute read about the weather! That’s no joke, either. One of the most popular Medium writers (who coincidentally stopped writing on Medium when I started writing on NewsVoice) does that exact thing. Hogan Torah.

He was known for humor, pop culture, his massive penis, tender lips, tantric sex skills, and supple bottom. On NewsVoice he writes about weather with huge financial success. I even have proof.