Develop One Habit To Deepen Your Meditation Experience

The reward is well worth your effort.

Before discussing the one essential habit for a deeper experience in meditation, I want to acknowledge how fortunate anyone is who can sit quietly and meditate in the peace and safety of their home.

Many people can’t, like the millions in Ukraine right now.

My heart aches for them, including a group of young men and women, my clients, and friends living in Lviv, Ukraine — their lives shattered like millions of others. It makes me sick to my stomach that we have to deal with another war.

I pray for peace.

With the residue of anger and sadness about Ukraine, I sat in the stillness of my living room this morning and meditated, free from worry about being bombed or killed.

I got comfortable, closed my eyes, gazed gently ahead, and placed my attention on my breathing.

I followed the rise and fall of my lungs. My mind wandered off. I brought it back only to find myself lost in random thought again. Back to the breath — making a conscious effort to stay with it.

I felt my body on the chair, my right wrist itching. I crossed my legs and then uncrossed them. At least five minutes went by. When the body isn’t comfortable, I’ve found it impossible to go deep into meditation — my awareness gets stuck at the physical level.

My mind was flittering away — what to write about, my friends in Ukraine, where the cat was, what I dreamt about last night. I continued breathing slowly from my belly, with intention.

Nothing seemed to be happening except the effort of focusing on my breath — I was in stage one of my typical meditation process — physical awareness.

Gradually my awareness shifted from feeling my lungs rising and filling with air to noticing my thoughts. I started to enter stage two — mental awareness.

Noticing my thoughts indicates I’ve started to disconnect from merging with the uncontrollable rascals. However, they persisted and seemed to grow in number and strength. Back to the breath for some help.

Then, I started to feel a subtle vibration. The thoughts were fewer and offered less allure. Now, when swept up by one, I returned to the present moment more quickly than before.

I continued in this transition state for another five or ten minutes.

Then I entered the third stage — spiritual awareness.

Soft energy swelled before my closed eyes and pushed out the more potent thoughts.

I became the observer, witnessing a soft light show, the swirl of the galaxy-like sparks within, the gentle pulse of a seemingly endless force of consciousness. Stillness filled me with the occasional thought peeking in from the back of my mind, sidelined by the soft hand of god-energy.

The following is one way to describe how the light-energy of consciousness dispels the thinking mind:

Visualize a dark room. Now, light a candle, and as the flame begins to burn, watch the light dispel the darkness nearby. Gradually the light fills the space — chasing bits of it hiding in corners.

There’s nothing aggressive about it — just a gentle, unrelenting power. It eliminates darkness by filling the space with it’s presence. The nature of consciousness — it naturally displaces darkness.

I sat in my happy place — absorbing life-giving energy like I was in a bath. There was nothing for me to do except to be a recipient.

Thoughts? Ego? Virtually not there, but close by for sure — a delicate peace for me. I haven’t mastered this fine art — I’m just a student, learning and in awe of what’s happening inside me.

I gazed into the inner cosmos, letting it fill me up with peace and happiness. Incredible. And it’s there, within us all the time.

I felt a gentle smile on my face. Why does this feel like home?

Because it is my home and it is your home too.

So, what habit enables me to get through the first two phases of my practice into the third phase?

Patience.

Let’s face it — sitting still and doing nothing is not necessarily easy. The human mind is a thought machine. Its job is to think, and when you sit in meditation, you can see this more clearly than ever.

The point of meditation is not to stop thinking. The point is to tap into the life-giving energy that keeps us alive and absorb its goodness and allow it to do its magic.

It’s like going to a luxurious resort built into the side of a mountain overlooking the Caribbean. Your room is built into a tree; the warm wind lulls you to sleep at night. The sand is pure white, the water like a warm bath, the fresh food incredible.

You take it all in. It’s restorative; you forget about everything back at home: no texts, no phone calls, no nothing. You’re in peace. That’s the experience of going deeper into meditation — you let it nurture and heal you.

For me, fifteen minutes is generally not enough. Thirty minutes or more to go deep. If you want the real thing, you’ve got to develop patience. Nothing else is going to get through the minefield.

It takes patience to stop squirming around, uncrossing your legs, and crossing them again.

It takes patience to continue to sit there when your mind is screaming at you, telling you to get up and get to work.

It takes patience to ignore the sounds around you, the smell of coffee wafting into the room, the cat meowing, cars passing by in the street.

It takes patience to wade through the barrage of doubts your mind is throwing at you. Nothing is happening. This is a colossal waste of time. Rumi, Tolle, Singer, Ram Dass, David Gerken, Sandra Pawula, Christine Bradstreet, Shivendra Misra, Don Johnson — the whole lot of them can screw off.

It takes patience to slow the mind down. The mind isn’t interested in meditation. The mind wants to think and be in charge.

It takes patience to accomplish anything worthwhile. Playing guitar, painting watercolors, learning a new language, or mastering online writing doesn't matter what it is. Intellectually it’s typical to think you should be further along than you are. The same thing happens in meditation.

You think you should be swimming in the ocean of bliss every time you practice. But it’s not about what you think or expect. It’s about you putting in the reps, putting in the time. Don’t give up.

Patience, young padawan!

If you stick with your practice, you will develop patience.

And patience will unlock the deeper experiences in meditation.

And patience will serve you in all aspects of life.

Waiting on the phone for twenty minutes when you call your bank’s customer service department — practice patience.

Standing in a long line at check out in the grocery store — practice patience.

Dealing with a difficult person at work — practice patience.

After about thirty minutes, it was time to close my formal practice. I slowly opened my eyes and whispered a prayer of thanks, and then asked myself a question — What goal do I pursue today?

The answer: I pursue the path of peace, kindness, and compassion.

These are the qualities a consistent meditation practice produces. They’re good for me, good for you, and we certainly need more of them in the world today.

So, be patient in your practice. The reward is well worth your effort.

Thanks for reading, and have a wonderful day. — Don

If you enjoyed this article, you might like The Importance of Feminine Energy In A Male-Dominated World.

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