Despicable Notebook.
Collection bin for Disjointed and Distracting Thoughts.
Notebooks are loudly and insanely proclaimed to be authors’ friend! In fact they just munch stories.
Those living frenetic lives have fleeting ideas, When idea hits no time to lose, Scribble it down quickly check drink more coffee, Sigh of relief, But behold illegible scribble, Go insane again.
Another idea, Notebook in hand, No pen to be found Frantically search, Not in cupboard Nor in kitchen, ‘Tis there right there hiding under stupid table, Grab it sit down calm down ready to write, What idea?
Late at night ready for sleep, Time to review today’s ideas, Feel professional, First idea intellectual dribble, Second distasteful, Hated third, Turning pages insanity unleashed unhinged writing, Turn another page, End of book, No ideas, Damnation, Road to riches ends in pothole, Once again!
Hate notebooks, More ideas than my head, Who wrote them? Some benighted notebook fairy on good deed mission? More likely penned by evil hobgoblin or despicable magician enveloped in darkest darkness, Leaving black ink smudges.
Smudges like paw prints, Mayhap son’s kelpie Raf did the deed? Definitely her paw, Better speller, Good at calligraphy like all true Australian Kelpies!
But, There’s eminently reasonable explanation! Malevolent souls raised from hell haunting every notebook page! Each scribbled idea incantation from Hell! Reading them causes Boils on bottoms, Pimples on noses, Bleeding toes and yellowed teeth, Goodness knows what will befall if they’re given voice?
Can understand why stationery shop has piles of notebooks, Would-be authors burned by curses buy no more.
Solution, Use memory to hold idea for writing ritual, Start with coffee, Proper velvet writing gown, Hair in place, Moustache trimmed, Smile on face, Comfortable chair, Computer on, Fingers ready, Idea typed, Edit with grace, Smile still there.
One last thing before I’m done, Exorcism of notebook spirits, Light BBQ burn hated notebooks, Throw ashes into neighbors garden, Peace at last.
That’s peculiar, Just saw magpie friend pen in beak heading my way from garden!
Blessed be.
Blessed be.
